what would you change in your life?

[lv_sinnerz]

You all suck. That is all!

[2.2 Straight six]

Originally Posted by lv_sinnerz

#1 - No eye problems, not even starting day one. This would have eliminated 90% of the harassment I had to go through in all my school years k - 12.

What eye problems do you have?



if i were in the situation to be able to change things, i don't think i'd change anything. this is life, ups and downs. we deal with crap that comes up, and we move on afterwards. you can't let stuff get you down, and there are time when you just have to put up with stuff.

[lv_sinnerz]

Originally Posted by 2.2 Straight six

What eye problems do you have?

Glaucoma, vision impairment out of one eye (which makes it look like it wants to go to "LA LA" land), and the right eye (my good eye) is constantly feeling tired and overworked. And because of my vision impairment, I get very severe migraines.

[2.2 Straight six]

If people can't accpet you because you have a vision impairment, they're not worth your time.

I've had people say all kinds of shit about me. my hair's too long, and it makes me look like a girl. at 18 i don't have a great deal of body hair, and i apparently "look like a 12-year-old". i know i'm not good-looking, that' life, that's how it is. but if i could change it, i wouldn't because this is me and this is how i am.

i understand it may be different for you, and you'd want to be without the impairment. the above is just me.

if people want to make fun or say shit about you because of they way you look, they're a long way below you.

[lv_sinnerz]

Originally Posted by 2.2 Straight six

If people can't accpet you because you have a vision impairment, they're not worth your time.

I've had people say all kinds of shit about me. my hair's too long, and it makes me look like a girl. at 18 i don't have a great deal of body hair, and i apparently "look like a 12-year-old". i know i'm not good-looking, that' life, that's how it is. but if i could change it, i wouldn't because this is me and this is how i am.

i understand it may be different for you, and you'd want to be without the impairment. the above is just me.

if people want to make fun or say shit about you because of they way you look, they're a long way below you.

That was way back in school. Kinda glad when I graduated. I almost went nuts, and damn near killed myself too. Thankfully it didn't come to that. This thread though was to entertain the idea of "what if?" Granted, we all say that if we were able to change anything, we wouldn't. But this is more to be "indulgent" of the what-ifs. Quite frankly, I'd love to see what my life would have been like had those aforementioned changes taken place.

Again, just curiosity. I know I can never erase or change my past, but it's nice to entertain the thought.

[2.2 Straight six]

Truth is, i don't know what i'd change.

[Oz]

I'd probably change whatever it was that was bothering me, and make the most of what I have...instead of talking/dreaming about it.

Wishing / Posting it on the internet doesn't make it so.

[lv_sinnerz]

Funny, I just said I know it's not going to happen because I say it will. I'm just indulging. No harm in that, unless someone is just that obsessed about it.

[drunken monkey]

does posting in a thread about it and then starting a whole new one count as an obsession?

[lv_sinnerz]

Originally Posted by drunken monkey

does posting in a thread about it and then starting a whole new one count as an obsession?

I seriously don't understand what that comment was referring to. And whoever it was that asked in a completely different thread what I had searched to get to an old thread from years ago, I didn't. I was merely looking around as it were, and found something I liked, replied to it, but didn't think it would get me ridicule for replying to a thread that was years old. Thank you for making me feel SOOOOO F---IN welcome, here!

Again, my only goal was to be indulgent, even if it was for a brief moment online, so excuse the hell outta me for being that way.

[2.2 Straight six]

Originally Posted by lv_sinnerz

And whoever it was that asked in a completely different thread what I had searched to get to an old thread from years ago, I didn't. I was merely looking around as it were, and found something I liked, replied to it, but didn't think it would get me ridicule for replying to a thread that was years old.

It's part of AF's rules that if a thread's more than 3 months old it's dead and shouldn't be brought back. Just how it is, to prevent dead subjects being revived.

Don't take it personally.

[drunken monkey]

er... actually i was just asking about what constitutes an obsession.

it's like this, you can claim that it was just a bit of indulgence but for it to even go that far, somewhere in your mind, you conjured up the idea of "what if?".
Now while I understand that this is natural, for most people, it doesn't get beyond the 30 seconds of that moment.

For you however, it went that little bit further.
There's also the strange position that you seem to have put yourself in, as if nothing is going to ever going to change.
emo anyone?

Then there's your half-arsed assumptions regarding what might've happened.
No eye problems would've turned you into a womanising alpha male?
Learning to play an instument would mean you won't know how to use a pc?
Have relationships at a younger age would mean you'd be a drunken dad?

So I guess my piano+guitar+trumpet playing, computer using, glasses wearing, serial dating self doesn't exist in your world.


Simple questions:
why can't you learn to paly an instrument now?
is your eye condition untreatable?
why don't you think you'll ever get a girlfriend?

And one more, have you ever heard of self fulfilling prophecies?

[lv_sinnerz]

Originally Posted by drunken monkey

er... actually i was just asking about what constitutes an obsession.

it's like this, you can claim that it was just a bit of indulgence but for it to even go that far, somewhere in your mind, you conjured up the idea of "what if?".
Now while I understand that this is natural, for most people, it doesn't get beyond the 30 seconds of that moment.

For you however, it went that little bit further.
There's also the strange position that you seem to have put yourself in, as if nothing is going to ever going to change.
emo anyone?

Then there's your half-arsed assumptions regarding what might've happened.
No eye problems would've turned you into a womanising alpha male?
Learning to play an instument would mean you won't know how to use a pc?
Have relationships at a younger age would mean you'd be a drunken dad?

So I guess my piano+guitar+trumpet playing, computer using, glasses wearing, serial dating self doesn't exist in your world.


Simple questions:
why can't you learn to paly an instrument now?
is your eye condition untreatable?
why don't you think you'll ever get a girlfriend?

And one more, have you ever heard of self fulfilling prophecies?

Question #1 - Answer: I would but I have no money to start lessons, and every time I get the money to do so, I seem to have this luck around me that's called "Family" and anyone who has to bail out family members on anything whether it be bills, groceries, etc knows the kind of hassle I'm talking about. So I've learned not to engage in any sort of activity that involves me paying $$$, because in the end I always have to help out family members. It's not that I couldn't say no, but rather they've helped me throughout my life (doctor visits, emergency room visits, etc) that I am obligated to help when and where I can, even if it's for a brief time.

Question #2 - Answer: Yes and no. Yes, I have medication that currently treats the glaucoma, and I have two implants keeping the pressure at a reasonable level. No, it's not treatable because when I was born, I had cataracts. Now, this wouldn't be a bad thing normally, however, the good doctors at the time didn't know that when they took out the cataracts and the lens of my left eye, they were supposed to leave in what's called the "suspensory ligament" that keeps the lens in place among the jelly-like substance known as the vitreous, so it doesn't float around all over the place. Because of this, I'm left permanently legally blind in that eye. Hence why I'll sometimes refer to myself as half-blind.

Question #3 - Answer: Refer to last question. I doubt any woman wants to be with a man whose got a deformed eye and can genetically pass that on. My condition was not passed on to me since it was a freak accident of nature (or a really bad joke between whatever "God" there is and whatever "Devil" there may be, you be the judge). Seriously, do you think a woman wants to chance the idea of having children with partial disabilities? I know I wouldn't.

Oh, I've heard all the stories from all sorts of friends, family, etc that it doesn't matter what ya look like. Fact is, it does! Most women will say looks aren't a factor, but that's just a bunch of bullshit to me.


By the way, I don't know how far in Biology you have gotten into, whether in College or High school, but understanding genetics as I do (the limited amount, that is) I realize that a lot of my dad's traits are in my personality, whether I would want to admit it or not. Therefore, I would rather forgo the possibility of being a drunken dad with a son or daughter who has "problems" that can't be fixed with current medicine. This is also why I stay the hell away from booze, (illegal) drugs, and other substances that are .... well, just plain stupid.

And pardon the question of my own, but WTF is emo? Is it short for "emotion" or "emotional?"

As far as "self fulfilling prophecies", yes I have heard of them, no I don't believe in them. And honestly, I barely understand what the term means. However, if it's what I think it means, then no I don't think I have "self fulfilling prophecies".

And yes, not much has changed in the past 27 years of my life, the only difference is that I graduated from high school. Barely, but graduated nevertheless. My medical stuff has only changed for the worst, unfortunately, and once in a while yes I do like to indulge, and maybe for once not feel totally alone in how I feel about life. Even if for a minute or two. However, your beef is not the fact that I posted this, nor is it the idea that I want to play "what if?". No I don't think that's your real beef.

Maybe it's because I'm new to this board and this is sort of the "initiation" process, or "club membership only" kind of thing. Maybe it's the kind of thing saying "I know more than you, so shut up!", who knows. All I know is that it seems like when a newbie tries to express themselves in any way, it sort of gets ridiculed. Why, I don't know.

Whatever the reason, whatever motives are there, it seems like unless one has posted here for a long time, then it's not okay to vent or play the "what if" game. Whether it be this kind of topic, or any other.

Or is it the game of "post whatever you like as long as I approve of it"? If that's the case, then yeah, definitely say so and close the thread and I'll be gone. I was looking around here for other posts, seeing what other topics are out there that I didn't want to duplicate, and what I found was intriguing. You'll let someone post about "being tripped out on mushrooms" and having "revelations and epiphanies" and what not, but for a question like what I brought up, all of a sudden it's "No no, can't have that, unless you're stoned out of your mind!"

So I guess what I'm seeing is a double standard. It seems to be "Say what you want, but if it's too far out there.." (even though after looking through some threads/posts, it seems like A LOT of people are... OUT THERE!) ".. then we don't want it here"


Anyway, sorry for the long reply. My migraines have returned earlier this evening, and I've been fighting them for the past 5 hours, and I won't have my pain medication until either tomorrow or tuesday. And yes, when I'm in pain, these questions of "what if?" do come up a lot, because when someone is in pain (like myself, and I sure hope no one on these boards will ever have to experience the levels of pain I've been through), there's not much to do but think. Sometimes that can be bad thing, and sometimes good, but crikey!! I didn't think I'd get the treatment of "well, this is not okay, because I say it's not".

(seriously though, before I go, I was only being indulgent, and yes it sometimes does last longer than 30 seconds for some. It may take you only 30 seconds to get over it, but see it from another point of view besides your own and you'll understand)

And now that I've lost taste for being "indulgent" in the "what if" since it seems it's a taboo subject, I'll be going to bed now.

[mellowboy]

Interesting question. Here's an interesting answer. I would change nothing. You sleep and when you open your eyes, you can start new again. Like moving on and don't dwell on "what if" or the past. If you don't, then you're going to be stuck with false hopes and wishes, since they don't exist.

[drunken monkey]

wow... again with the "woe is me" attitude.

i) as mentioned by many others, this is a public forum and you are not the only one who posts things here. If you post here, expect a reply. I reply to every thing I read here that gets my attention. Please don't feel that you are any being given any special treatment.

ii) I tend to ignore the drug related posts because the subject doesn't interest me.

perhaps you should put a qualifying statement that only people who agree with you should reply to your thread.