Cover Your Ass

JD@af · #1 10-09-2002, 04:59 PM

Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year old white male, resident of White Plains, NY, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency,and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't" he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail.

Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need".

"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the White Plains police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure" said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Davidson) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Davidson. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin!? Damn...is it midnight already?'"

Spec2 Girl · #2 10-09-2002, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by JD@af
Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year old white male, resident of White Plains, NY, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency,and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't" he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail.

Sounds suspiciously like apple pie.................

:hehehe:

darkness · #3 10-09-2002, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Sounds suspiciously like apple pie.................

:hehehe:

mmmmmm, warm apple pie

YogsVR4 · #4 10-09-2002, 08:20 PM

One of my favorite halloween jokes

Oz · #5 10-09-2002, 09:47 PM

Very good!

Graphik Styles · #6 10-09-2002, 10:06 PM

heh heh that would be sick to see some guy screwin a pumpkin in the middle of the road.......

Rich · #7 10-09-2002, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by JD@af
looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin!? Damn...is it midnight already?'"

Imagine being able to say this to a cop, while funking a pumpkin, and to maintain a straight face

kicker1_solo · #8 10-09-2002, 11:50 PM

mmm....pumpkins j00 say?

Spec2 Girl · #9 10-09-2002, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kicker1_solo
mmm....pumpkins j00 say?

Kicker, step away from the pumpkin! :angel:

replicant_008 · #10 10-10-2002, 12:19 AM

Kicker secretly can't wait until Hallowen so he can stock up on Pumpkins without drawing undue attention to himself...

tazdev · #11 10-10-2002, 05:52 AM

I've said it once and I'll say it again

"SOME PEOPLE"

taranaki · #12 10-10-2002, 05:56 AM

wondered why we hadn't seen 4ndrms for a while............

DVSNCYNIKL · #13 10-10-2002, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by replicant_008
Kicker secretly can't wait until Hallowen so he can stock up on Pumpkins without drawing undue attention to himself...

I second this notion and ask all members to please keep your pumpkins inside the house on your window sills as opposed to outside on the porch.

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