M&M Survival Guide

Spec2 Girl · #1 10-08-2002, 06:59 PM

Put M&M's into a container and add these directions:

To temporarily calm your craving for chocolate, eat the BROWN one.

At the first sign of hot flashes eat the RED one.

Eat the ORANGE one to minimize depression.

The GREEN one calms your frustrations, when you want to be left alone.

If you feel a headache coming, on eat the YELLOW one.

The BLUE one reduces Bloating.

If all symptoms occur at the same time, eat the WHOLE BAG.

(I heard a different thing about the green ones, but eating the whole bag works for me!

)

ragt20 · #2 10-08-2002, 07:07 PM

Ssom · #3 10-09-2002, 04:28 AM

Does this work???

Moppie · #4 10-09-2002, 05:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Moss1O6GTi
Does this work???

Judge · #5 10-09-2002, 05:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Moss1O6GTi
Does this work???

yes, this has been scientificly proven.

kris · #6 10-09-2002, 02:35 PM

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars,
Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

ragt20 · #7 10-09-2002, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kbslacker
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars,
Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

you are not still doing that

....
they sent you a coupon

but not a white jacket with fancy straps

haven't you discovered the one True champion yet....you posted something like this bout a year ago now

Spec2 Girl · #8 10-09-2002, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Moss1O6GTi
Does this work???

Only one way to find out.

YogsVR4 · #9 10-09-2002, 08:33 PM

Too many rules!

Spec2 Girl · #10 10-09-2002, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by YogsVR4
Too many rules!

Well just eat the whole pack or just the green ones. They do funny things to you.

:angel:

Twist · #11 10-10-2002, 12:13 AM

I have established a strict hierarchy for my M&M's. The higher the rank, the longer they live.
[list=1][*]Red [*]Yellow (this is the closest color to yellow! :silly2: )[*]Blue [*]Green [*]Purple (when it comes out, it had better know it's role! :shakes fist: ) [*]Brown (according to vBulletin code, this color is chocolate!

)[/list=1]

At least purple won the global color vote. No aqua or pink for me, thank you very much!

Also, if I have a clean flat space I arrange them to spell things or make shapes.

Ssom · #12 10-10-2002, 03:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Only one way to find out.

Yeah- I asked this because it wasn't funny like jokes are supposed to be

DVSNCYNIKL · #13 10-10-2002, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
(I heard a different thing about the green ones, but eating the whole bag works for me! )

Great way to keep at the gym huh!

j/k

Spec2 Girl · #14 10-10-2002, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Moss1O6GTi

Yeah- I asked this because it wasn't funny like jokes are supposed to be

That's because it wasn't a joke! :finger:

and DVS that's why we own a Hamster wheel!

:hehehe:

taranaki · #15 10-10-2002, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl

and DVS that's why we own a Hamster wheel! :hehehe:

Hamster wheel.......mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..:licker:

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