what your car says about you

[Jonno]

I'm not sure if you have seen this before, but I found it pretty funny.


What Your Car Says About You
Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars

Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars

Acura NSX - I am impotent

AMC - Ain't My Car

Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires

Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states

Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman

Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp

Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people

Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette

Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis

Chevrolet Cavalier - Absolute LEGEND!

Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government

Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather

Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well

Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower

Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car

Ferrari Testarossa - I am known to prematurely ejaculate

Ford Explorer - I will not be caught dead in a mini van

Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart)

Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones

Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and change lanes when I pull
up behind them.

Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the fall.

Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the fall.

Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all

Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit

Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.

Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.

Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports.

Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.

Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.

Lamborghini Countach - I only have one testicle

Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers

Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above)

Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph

Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole

Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler

MGB - I am dating a mechanic

Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either

Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.

Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts

Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List

Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena

Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock

Porsche 911 Turbo - I have a three inch penis.

Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me

Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanon is a tad bit too liberal

Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic)

Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu

Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet

Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns

Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet

Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now

Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife

http://earth.vol.com/~webtek//carjokecentral/

[tougestar]

http://24.68.44.161/funstuff/youare.swf

haha just kidding

[360Modena1117]

OMG thats histerical. The best one is the Chevette.

[fordjay16]

i'm the ford mustang: i slow down to 85 in school zones. so true

[oblaise]

Originally posted by Jonno
Acura NSX - I am impotent
Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Ferrari Testarossa - I am known to prematurely ejaculate
Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.
Lamborghini Countac - I only have one testicle
Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet
Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet

[oblaise]

Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts

This one is my favorite, my dad had like four, cause they got stolen like 4 times when we lived in Newark, New Jersey. Then it was robbed again in Miami.

[spooleffect]

LMAO!!!

Mazda Miata- Im not gay, but my Miata is.

Originally posted by Jonno

Acura NSX - I am impotent

HAHAHHAHAHAH

[dredinyonkers]

hehe i have a civic..
and horrible credit...lol

[tman]

Originally Posted by Jonno

Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states

I am a teenager in high school with a park avenue.

[91rs]

very original Jonno ,

I hope you didn't type all of that because all ya had to do was give them the link you found on the net

http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/96/Sep/cars.html

[gnasha]

Originally Posted by Jonno

Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and change lanes when I pull
up behind them.

So true and it work anywhere, just replace it by a white Ford mondeo or Volvo v70 for the UK and a deep blue clio or megane estate (the version before last) for France.

[D[X]P]

lol thats very funny hahaha

[Chavez408]

[ProSStreet]

Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government

how did they know?!

[occupant]

A few updated ones, and ones I made up because I am online at 2am and have no life whatsoever and like to make fun of yuppie cars and POS sleds.

Acura RS-X - My engine redlines at eight grand, but I still can't get off the line to beat a Chrysler LeBaron!

BMW M3 Coupe - I own the fast lane, even if I choose to drive 45 in it and yak on my phone, so don't bother passing me or anything.

BMW 745iL Protection- This car is bulletproof, wanna see?

Cadillac SRX - Damn it! It's not a station wagon!

Chevrolet Aveo - I live in fear of anyone running a red light.

Chrysler PT Cruiser Limited - I don't mind spending $25K on a Neon station wagon with chrome wheels and leather.

Dodge Neon SRT-4 - But, but, but officer, why can't I make left turns on red?

Dodge Ram 2500HD (Cummins turbodiesel) - Hey buddy, see that Bimmer 745 over there? I hear them's a bullet-proofed! Let's go find out!!! *racks 12-gauge previously mounted in cab back window*

Eagle Premier - You know, these bus passes are a damn good deal, I wonder if my mechanic lives on the busline, too?

Eagle Talon - No, that's not a blown head gasket, it's condensation. I just need to keep telling myself that.

Ford Aspire - Just eight more payments to Honest Al's Bargain Beater Bin...just eight more...and I can get a real car...

Ford Escort ZX2 - see Honda Civic

Ford Focus wagon (white) - I'm delivering toxic substances for a living and loving every minute of it.

Ford Taurus SHO - Excuse me, I have another call coming through *beep* Hello? Well, buzz off! *beep* I knew I shouldn't have put my phone number on that "For Sale" sign.

Ford Expedition Eddie Bauer - DWF, 32, 3 kids, 5'0", 100lbs, cell phone implanted on side of head, soccer ball stickers on back window.

Ford Excursion - I like getting on my $39.99 Wal-Mart CB radio to talk to truckers while I refuel at the diesel island.

Geo Metro 3-cylinder automatic - I keep a change of underwear in the glove compartment in case I need to get on the Interstate.

Honda Insight - Luggage space? We don't need no stinkin' luggage space?!!

Honda CR-V - Have you hugged a tree today?

Kia Rio - Do you have a job? Do you have $199? Do you want to take the bus and drive rental cars for the next 5 years? Then come by XXX Kia and we'll get you approved for a *NEW* Kia Rio!!!

Lincoln Navigator - I have two LCD screens for every passenger seating position and more dB than God. I hire men to spin my rims while my car sits in valet parking at the strip clubs. You can't touch this.

Mazda Millenia - I think I got a good deal at the tote-the-note lot, I mean, it's got leather, right?

Mercury Topaz - I can change an ignition module in three minutes and twenty seconds flat.

Mitsubishi Eclipse - see Eagle Talon

Mitsubishi Montero Limited - My 20-inch rims are on backorder. Really.

Mini Cooper - I don't mind eating bologna and cheese all week as long as I can valet park this baby at the club!

Oldsmobile Alero - No, son, this is just a rental car, I would never really *own* one of these...*sheepish grimace and shifty eyes*

Plymouth Prowler - No honey, I really don't want any more children.

Pontiac Aztek - My bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 is in the console fridge, and my girlfriend is passed out in the back seat.

Saab 9000 - Excuse me, do you have a pair of wire strippers handy? How about some tape? Gauze? Fire extinguisher?

Sterling 825/827 - see Saab 9000

Toyota Matrix or Scion xA or xB - It's not a Corolla station wagon, it isn't, hey, quit teasing me!

Toyota MR2 Spyder - You know I have this car in my garage AND in GT2 on my Playstation!

Volkswagen New Beetle - If you're going to San Francisco, make sure to wear a flower in your dash-mounted vase.

Volkswagen Jetta TDI - Gas stations? We don't need no stinking gas stations?!!

Volvo 740 Turbodiesel - see Saab 9000

Yugo GV - I rebuilt my engine last month. Want to help me do it again?