Help me out if you've lost close friends

swedish · #1 09-26-2002, 02:28 PM

Hey, two of my best friends were killed last night in a crash, and I'm feeling so messed up over it, if you can let me know how you dealt with it I would be so grateful.

Thank You

Steel · #2 09-26-2002, 03:12 PM

Just dont try to use alcohol or drugs to make your problems go away. My condolences to your loss

There's really isn't much you can do other than bite the bullet and take it. It's gonna hurt. Stick with your other freinds too, don't isolate yourself.

Just take care of yourself man. Im sorry.

Damien · #3 09-26-2002, 04:40 PM

"People who drink to drown their sorrows should be told that sorrow knows how to swim."

-Ann Landers

I'm really sorroy man. I had a friend hit by a car and died. I move too much to get real close firends, but he was my first friend in Italy and I knew him for 3 years so I know how it feels. Good luck, I'll pray for ya.

slave · #4 09-26-2002, 07:14 PM

Talk about them, what was good about them? Tell your firends the stuff you enjoyed about the ones you lost, try to get your memories on the positives you shared. And never think its wrong to cry. Hell, I've cried in uniform for my loss recently. It helps. The pain will always be there, it just becomes more bearable with time.

swedish · #5 10-02-2002, 04:10 PM

thanks guys, i just gotta get one more thing off my chest. me, and both of my friends that were killed were athiests, and there was a funeral for keith, which doesn't bother me, but the entire time, they said his name twice, and the rest was about how fantastic jesus is supposed to be, which i found pretty ironic considering that the guy that fell asleep at the wheel, crossed into their lane, hit them head on and caused their car to burst into flames, was a pastor. and on top of that, the emergency vehicles got wrong directons to the crash, so the car was on fire for 10 minuets before anyone got there. guess i just wanted to get that out so nobody tries to tell me that god works in "mysterious ways"

Damien · #6 10-02-2002, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by swedish
thanks guys, i just gotta get one more thing off my chest. me, and both of my friends that were killed were athiests, and there was a funeral for keith, which doesn't bother me, but the entire time, they said his name twice, and the rest was about how fantastic jesus is supposed to be, which i found pretty ironic considering that the guy that fell asleep at the wheel, crossed into their lane, hit them head on and caused their car to burst into flames, was a pastor. and on top of that, the emergency vehicles got wrong directons to the crash, so the car was on fire for 10 minuets before anyone got there. guess i just wanted to get that out so nobody tries to tell me that god works in "mysterious ways"

First of all, whatever you choose to be, it's cool. Second of all, cliches like that are BS. They mean nothing except someone's explanation on something that they shouldn't try or be able to understand. Also, I think it's like domino's, God start the game and humans finish the rest. He's not there to watch out for each of us. He has no true affect on what happens like Sept. 11, it just happens. I'm not dissing you or anything, ok? I just hate it when people say cliches like that try to explain things that happen relating it to God.

As mentioned before, I'll pray for ya man, that's just me.

swedish · #7 10-02-2002, 10:01 PM

it's all good man, i've got nothing against christianity, i just don't believe in it, and yeah, i was trying to express how much i hate that cliche, not support it

SentraGirl · #8 10-03-2002, 12:33 AM

My condolences for your loss swedish. I actually haven't lost a friend close to me but I almost died myself a couple weeks ago. The only thing that helped me was getting it all out. Everybody's different and you have to find out what helps you the most to cope with the problem. My suggestion is to face it head on and maybe find something to keep you occupied but also allows you to think and sort things out. The car scene for example is great because if you're into cars you are doing something you enjoy and can also remember your friends. I'm sorry man, I wish I could help but it just takes time, I hope you feel better!

tazdev · #9 10-03-2002, 03:38 AM

I lost my best friend (that I grew up with) about 4 years ago when he was caught in an avalanche whilst climbing. The inital shock is the hardest part to get over but once you do that (took me the best part of a year) it does get easier.

It helps if you get together with friends that you all shared and help each other through the loss. I also found that talking to his family helped out alot (both them and me) as we all shared memories. It was reasonably "easy" for us to get to grips with the loss as Steven died doing what he loved to do so the sence of a waste of life wasn't as strong as if he had died some other way.

Don't turn to drink or drugs as you will seriously regret it later on, remember the good times that you shared and don't dwell on the "what if's" that will get you nowhere.

Oh yeah don't get upset at the people that try to offer their condolences to you (it can get very hard to accept them) but those people are relly trying to help, they just don't understand what it is that you are likely to be going through.

And most important of all NEVER FORGET THEM. NEVER

I'll never ever forget you Steven (I believe you are still out there somewhere)

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