Sex!

[taranaki]

Some good quotes on the subject!

"A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows." (Monica Piper)

"If God had meant us to have group sex, he'd have given us more organs." (Malcolm Bradbury)

"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation." (Lilly Tomlin)

"You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view." (Maureen Lipman)

"Bigamy? It's having one wife too much. Monogamy? It's the same." (Oscar Wilde)

"Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus." (Bob Rubin)

"Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure." (Bob Hope)

"It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on." (Marilyn Monroe)

"A terrible thing happened to me last night again—nothing." (Phyllis Diller)

"Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts." (Jeff Foxworthy)

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." (Steve Martin)

"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision." (Lynn Lavner)

"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me, neither." (Drew Carey)

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." (Anonymous)

"My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it kind of hard for him to come out of the closet." (Bill Kelly)

"As the French say, there are three sexes—men, women and clergymen." (Rev. Sydney Smith)

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." (Matt Barry)

"Life is a sexually transmitted disease." (Anonymous)

"Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life." (Michael Sinz)

"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast." (Woody Allen)

"When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities." (Matt Groening)

"Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right." (Woody Allen)

"It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up." (Joan Rivers)

"You sleep with a guy once and before you know it he wants to take you to dinner." (Myers Yori)

"Chastity is curable, if detected early." (Anonymous)

"Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy." (Groucho Marx)

"There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should draw the line at goats." (Elton John)

"The nice thing about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it." (Truman Capote)

"Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got." (Sophia Loren)

"Flirting is the act of making a man feel pleased with himself." (Helen Rowland)

"I'm a terrible lover. I've actually given a woman an anti-climax." (Scott Roeben)

"If God had intended us not to masturbate, he would have made our arms shorter." (George Carlin)

"Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful—provided you get between the right man and the right woman." (Woody Allen)

"My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects." (Les Dawson)

"I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own." (Woody Allen)

"My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty." (Woody Allen)

"A nymphomaniac is a women as obsessed with sex as the average man." (Mignon McLaughlin)

"There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief amongst these is the Mercedes-Benz 380L convertible." (P.J. O'Rourke)

"What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home." (Ken Hammond)

"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one." (Woody Allen)

"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less." (Brendan Francis)

"Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk." (Andy Gibb)

"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself." (Emo Philips)

"It's better to be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother." (Charles Pierce)

"Brevity is the soul of lingerie." (Dorothy Parker)

"I don't like sex on television. I keep falling off." (Saul Feldman)

"Ah, yes, divorce—from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." (Robin Williams)

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." (Billy Crystal)

"The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it." (Woody Allen)

"The only reason that I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again." (Erma Bombeck)

"Sex drive—a physical craving that begins in adolescence and ends at marriage." (Robert Byrne)

[Spec2 Girl]

rotflmao. Those are great. :hehehe: :hehehe:

(and here I was thinking that the thread probably wasn’t going to have anything to do with sex. I thought it was going to be a trick :o )

[PumbaaMobile]

:hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe:


Oh man

Those are funny

[Ssom]

[Moppie]

Originally posted by Moss1O6GTi

You don't even know what most of them are refering to.





Very funny list Mr T!

[primera man]

Very good Mr T ...I REALLY THOUGHT ID SEE YOUR NAME IN THERE SOME WHERE

[Damien]

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
rotflmao. Those are great. :hehehe: :hehehe:

(and here I was thinking that the thread probably wasn’t going to have anything to do with sex. I thought it was going to be a trick :o )

Same here, but majorly funny! :o :hehehe:

[YogsVR4]

Thats pretty good Mr. T I can use some good chuckles

[J SPEC SilEighty]

hahaha those are good

[ragt20]

BUhahahahaha good ones MR T......

[FastAssGSR]

I didn't laugh but thats just me

[Sanchi]

:hehe: :hehehe: :cwn27: hehe good one Mr. T you hit just the right spot for me this boring day at the office!!!

:sun: :flash:

[kicker1_solo]

Originally posted by FastAssGSR
I didn't laugh but thats just me

just j00....a fat ass with a gsr.





:hehe:

[SSEi]

LOL :frog: