Need Advice

ViperJ · #1 12-16-2006, 08:00 PM

Okay, I guess I will try to explain this. My girlfriend broke up with me last thursday because she "wasn't ready for a relationship". That is all that I have thought about for the last week. I wan't to get with her and then again i dont. A couple obvious reasons for why, but I will say she is truely the first girl that I can say I love. The reasons not to would be she is a huge flirt and i got cheated on in my last relationship so I could be overprotective... Its hard where 99% of her friends are guys... The day she broke up with me I asked her how her day was going (to start the conversation). She started to tell me she hung out with this mexican all day and how much fun she had (she is 18 he is 26). I just dont know, i want to be with her but I don't and i know its going to hard where the trust part isn't there. Thats what a relationship is about...

drewh4386 · #2 12-16-2006, 11:23 PM

Not to be mean being there is a saying around here that goes....ditch that bitch. She is obviously not ready for a relationship if she can have guy friends and tell you about the day she had with them. I had a girl like that. I am glad she is gone.

mike@af · #3 12-17-2006, 10:49 PM

I've been there before. Its hard to say what to do. I hated kidding myself, I began to get emotionally involved the longer it went on. She told me from the beginning she wasnt ready for a relationship, but had feelings for me and wanted to take things slow. So we did for about 8 weeks. She had a lot of guy friends that she hung out with. It didnt bother me for awhile, then being that there was the unknown it did. I got tired of kidding myself and broke it off. She told me "I'm sorry, Im just not ready for a relationship with anybody".

Four weeks later she has a boyfriend. What the fuck? I wondered what happened.

Moral of the story, dont get too involved or you'll hurt yourself. Granted you have strong feelings but its best for you to try and move on. Now I know thats not what you want to hear; I didnt want to hear it either when I was in your situation. Looking back on it now though, I'm glad I did move on. Granted there will always be a part of me that misses her, but I've moved on to interest in other women.

sickcallawayc12 · #4 12-18-2006, 04:07 AM

You said she is 18. What you should do should be obvious.

ghostrx7 · #5 12-18-2006, 08:37 AM

same here, had a girl like that, left her, never looked back. feel much better now that im not worrying about my girl doin some dude behind my back...

XeVeNskyLiNE · #6 12-18-2006, 01:31 PM

Ditto with the guys on this one. Sounds like she's just stringing you along for god's know what reason. Save yourself the future grief and giver her the boot.

ghostrx7 · #7 12-18-2006, 03:28 PM

i know its ruff, but whats worse, jackin off for a few weeks till you find a replacement, or finding your girl riding someone like shes in a rodeo...

Oz · #8 12-19-2006, 03:21 AM

This is going to be rough - but, she broke up with you. You might want to be with her, but she doesn't want to be with you.

If you 'try' and get back with her, you will have no power (leverage) in your relationship (if it works and you get back with her).

The best thing you can do is call her and wish her the best for the future and thank her for the memories. Also say that she has hurt you, but you're going to move on with your life starting today and this is the last call she will ever receive from you.

Let her call you if anything is going to happen.

ViperJ · #9 12-21-2006, 07:22 PM

Oh for sure, I agree with everyone. I didn't think it would happend but a week later I have meet someone else who is way better (although they all have some problems). No its not a rebound chick but someone who is actually cool and realizes that everday isn't party day, so much better than before

XeVeNskyLiNE · #10 12-21-2006, 07:46 PM

Wow man, you're really fortunate someone else turned up that fast. Good luck.

beef_bourito · #11 12-22-2006, 12:37 AM

yeah, really really lucky, i've been waiting for a while now.... i guess it's a little my fault for going into engineering (time consuming and low on the girls) and rowing (HUGE time commitment). met a few cool girls, one that i dated once and i'm gonna ask her out sometime soon again, sometime after my last final (tomorrow from 2-5, what a bitch). at least you're getting over the girl you liked, good job.

BleedDodge · #12 12-22-2006, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ViperJ

The day she broke up with me I asked her how her day was going (to start the conversation). She started to tell me she hung out with this mexican all day and how much fun she had (she is 18 he is 26)

This made me laugh. Did she word it like that and everything, like "I just got done hanging out with this 26 year old mexican dude, it was great", or was it more like "I spent the day with Ernesto, he's a gentleman and he's 26."

ViperJ · #13 12-22-2006, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BleedDodge

This made me laugh. Did she word it like that and everything, like "I just got done hanging out with this 26 year old mexican dude, it was great", or was it more like "I spent the day with Ernesto, he's a gentleman and he's 26."

Pretty much... Yeah told me how she felt sorry for him cause he didn't have a lot of friends and blah blah... How he is comming back to seattle and going to get an apartment and she was asking about being roommates... Yet she got pissed cause at the end of that part of the conversation is when she told me about his girlfriend, and she got mad at me cause i sounded "happier". Went off on me about that one... I was like WTF? Fuck that, its better we are done.

Besides the new girl is incredible, less clingy and more affectionate is the way to put it I guess.

mike@af · #14 12-22-2006, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ViperJ

...she got mad at me cause i sounded "happier". Went off on me about that one... I was like WTF? Fuck that, its better we are done.

Women seem to be like that. They try and find things wrong with you as it makes a break up easier. I split with my ex because things werent going anywhere, she said she didnt want a relationship so I said that I'd move on. Weeks and weeks went on where I'd get called a jerk for absolutely no apparent reason.

Glad you found a new girl, mate. Congrats!

ViperJ · #15 12-24-2006, 06:18 PM

Yeah, well as happy as I am with this new girl its time to get the fuck out. I really thought she was different (in a good way). She and here ex are still friends (they went out for like 2 years) and she went to house on Friday with some friends, (anyone see a problem comming up???). Turns out she made out with him, and did cocaine... Yeah I knew she did drugs and is going on the 1st to get cleaned up... But I think its time to call it good and walk away.

On a side note the girl I was talking about in the begining of this thread showed up at my friends house yesterday and came over. She wanted to talk and turns out she wants to get back together... Yeah its been a crappy last week or so..

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