how to deal with this...

highteknology · #1 12-13-2006, 12:56 PM

i apologize beforehand if this thing is all over the place. there is just too much stuff going on in my life right now for it to be really organized. here we go...

i've been dating this girl for about 3 weeks now. we both like each other. there is only one little thing that i always have in the back of my head and i'm not sure if i should or how to get over it. when we first started dating my friend and i were at breakfast one morning and he was like, "you know what you are getting yourself into now right?" and i said no. he said, "she wants that green card" but he said jokingly. but then i asked what he meant and he said that she is technically not a legal resident. she has lived in the US for most of her life i think and speaks excellent english, probably better than i do. she holds a job. goes to school and is in a sorority.

my problem is that A) she never actually told me that she is not a legal resident (which i don't know if i should ask or bring it up) and B) even though we are technically not boyfriend girlfriend yet, i know that if something were to happen it would be devastating to both of us.

i've noticed that i start paying more attention to news articles about INS raiding places and such like that. it just starts to hit home more and more with her.

do you think this is something that i should be concerned about, and should i talk to her about it or just keep it in the back of my mind?

Steel · #2 12-13-2006, 02:10 PM

Don't worry aobut it dude. Her not being a citizen ranks so low on the list of important things, she probably doesn't even think about it. And if she has her visa and is here legally she can get she citizenship.. so what are you worried aobut? Your starting to let the littlest thing bother you, and that's not good.

highteknology · #3 12-13-2006, 02:16 PM

i don't think she has her visa though. i think she is just straight up an illegal alien. I guess i don't want this little thing to hinder our relationship in the future.

ghostrx7 · #4 12-13-2006, 02:50 PM

if it bothers you, have a little talk with her about it. its not gonna go away on its own....

Oz · #5 12-13-2006, 03:32 PM

Be subtle about the way you approach it. Why not suggest that you are quite keen to travel overseas (requiring a passport), and ask if she would be interested. Guage her reaction.

turtlecrxsi · #6 12-13-2006, 04:11 PM

You could do what OZ said but beating around the bush with some half-cocked story about traveling is only going to seem more like a lie when you actually start in with it. You should ask her if she's ever traveled. Where she's from (I'm sure you've asked already right?)? Where's she's been? Ask when she came to the states, if she's ever been legally "naturalized" as a citizen. Saying stuff like, "do you have a green card" isn't very subtle. Using terms correctly about sensitive issues like this go a lot further. Also, it really isn't that big of a deal for somebody who is an upstanding citizen and based on what you've described it sounds like she is just that. I don't think the INS raids sorority houses on a regular basis...

highteknology · #7 12-13-2006, 10:12 PM

i know that she a raid is probably very likely. but right now i'm in the mind sight of what ifs. not just with her but in my life over what if that, what if this. i'm a fuckin emo punk right now. i need to get out of it.

thanks for the help guys. i'll probably talk to her tonight

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