new girlfriend

[capricorn]

Without going into details, how do you tell your new girlfriend that you want to come out and tell your common friends that we are a couple? Okay, I guess there is a need for a bit of details to get the whole picture- her best friend is against the relationship and she's afraid to tell her that we're an item. Don't ask me why that's the case. A very close female friend of mine is extremely close to my new girlfriend's best friend. I would think that would bode well for me but unfortunately, that's not the case either. My close friend is very supportive but her's is not. She doesn't want anyone to know for sake of causing friction with her close friend.

That brings me to the original question- How do I tell her that the secrecy is bugging me and that I don't want to keep a physical distance from her when we go out with friends?

Oh gawd, I hope this doesn't qualify as emo...

[BleedDodge]

It's pretty emo yeah.

[00accord44]

It definitely has some emo undertones but most threads in this forum do. Why is the gf's friend such a hater? You ran over her dog? Screwed her sister? Both? At the same time???

[naughty koolaid]

this situation just screams middle school relationships to me. i say tell who matters, don't make a big deal about it and if her friend is truly a friend, she'll get over it. has your gf tried talking things over with her?

[ghostrx7]

ur girl better tell her friend or she doesnt really value your relationship.... and by hiding it from her, so doesnt really value that girls friendship either...

[speedphreak]

Yeah, I went through that with my ex I just got back with. She told me this morning she is going to start telling her roomates that we are seeing each other. If you don't remember my other thread , I hung out with my former ex's roomate and became a huge ordeal. Now that I am back with my ex, we are going to be able to be around each other and not worry about people saying..OMG you guys are together...blah blah blah..tgerribly immature, but whatever! If her friend is truly a friend, she will get over it.

-Chris

[jon@af]

My first thought is that her friend is jealous. Does her friend have a bf? Maybe it's asituation of "well, if I can't be happy, I don't want her to be happy." My girlfriend is dealing with this right now. Someone she knows is always giving her a hard time because she has me and this person doesn't have anyone.

As far as sounding emo, it's really not so much when you think about it. If anything, it's an issue of maturity on the part of your girlfriend's friend. Just go out and tell her that you're dating. The two of you are making the decisions in what is YOUR relationship. Not her friend's relationship. Granted, it's good to consider friends when making some decisions, but this is a decision that was entirely up to your girlfriend and she made the one she felt comfortable with, so she shouldn't care about telling her friend who, as others have said, if she really cares, will understand.

[capricorn]

At least there's support for my perspective here. I've been pretty annoyed by the whole ordeal and it finally came to a head last night.

So last night, I was really bothered but it and called her up and laid it all out for her. Unfortunately, we're not going to be seeing much more of each other because of this.

There's alot of things going on in the friend's life that are bringing her down and just plain bitter with the whole deal. She's a bitter person. She likes to flaunt her wealth and her 'assets' to make herself feel good. My gf (former) values her opinion and won't do much to go against her.

In the end, if she values her friend's opinon over how much she values the relationship, then she doesn't deserve me. I still care for her but I'm not going to sacrafice how I know I want to be treated to be with her.

[speedphreak]

That sucks man. I know how this can be. Probably not worth it. Move on.

-Chris

[BleedDodge]

Sounds good.

Single rules.

[Damien]

emo = middle/high school...

get over it and say something or dump the bitch. sorry, i'm in a very open mood right now.

[BleedDodge]

Sounds like he already got rid of her.

[capricorn]

It sucks but the more I think about it, it probably won't go anywhere as her friend would always bring her down about the relationship.

When we first got together, I wanted to tell the whole world how happy I was to be with her. She couldn't do that. She was too afraid of what her friend thought and about it getting back to her. She couldn't be openly happy about being with me. I don't know about you guys, but when I'm with someone and I'm happy, I want to tell everyone about it. I'm disappointed that she wasn't able to do that.

It's so early in the relationship that we shouldn't have to worry about nonsense like this but rather enjoy each other's company. Sadly, this wasn't the case. This sucks but there's more to life out there for me than to be dragged down by her friend's negativity.

[beef_bourito]

well there'll be plenty more of them so just leave this one behind and start looking for the next (or don't) while enjoying being single.

[capricorn]

Originally Posted by beef_bourito

well there'll be plenty more of them so just leave this one behind and start looking for the next (or don't) while enjoying being single.

That's exactly what I'm going to do tonight. My buddy's birthday party is tonight so we're all going to go out to Hooters (why god, why does it have to be Hooters?) for his bday dinner. He wants to do it low key and casual for dinner and hit up the clubs later on. Planning on having fun tonight.

One new development- she just text messaged me at work asking me how things are today. We exchanged messages for a good half hour before I cut the string of messages short. Looks like there's hope in her rethinking this through after all. I'll find out tonight as she always, instant messages me whenever she gets home from work or play from her day.