Miracle Whip... yuk

[00accord44]

My girl says she's gonna be nice and make me a sandwich while I recover from hurting my back. What a nice gesture I say. Frickin sweet right?

Well I gave her specific directions for what I want on my turkey sandwich:
Toasted wheat bread
American cheese
6-8 Slices of honey roasted turkey breast
Gulden's spicy brown mustard
A lil oregano
A lil black pepper
and heaps of mayo!

She comes back with my 2 sandwiches (cut diagonal like I like em) and I immediately get a whiff of Miracle Whip. I take a lil taste and sure enough she had piled my perfect sandwich high with that vile sweet spread. She said she did it because "it was closer". THE MAYO JAR WAS ONE SHELF LOWER!

So now I refuse to eat the sandwiches as she sits five feet away from me with her back turned She doesn't see the problem with subbing in miracle whip in a job suited for mayo. She says I'm just being picky and mean. Since she is not a big fan of sandwiches, she doesn't understand.

Am I just odd? Who out there willingly switches between miracle whip and mayo? She thinks I'm the only guy on earth opposed to miracle whip.

MAYO EATERS STAND UP AND BE COUNTED!!!

[03cavPA]

Nah. Make yer own damn sammidges from now on.

I bet you don't show her this reply.

[00accord44]

Originally Posted by 03cavPA

Nah. Make yer own damn sammidges from now on.

I bet you don't show her this reply.

He showed me like the asshole he is. "I bet they agree with me" my ass.
Damn right he can make his own food from now on! Crippled bastard.

-Dee

[2.2 Straight six]

i don't know what the hell miracle whip is, but mayo owns....

[2.2 Straight six]

Originally Posted by 00accord44

He showed me like the asshole he is. "I bet they agree with me" my ass.
Damn right he can make his own food from now on! Crippled bastard.

-Dee

your girlfriend totally owned you, you crippled bastard.

[00accord44]

^I dispute the validity of a post made against me while the poster uses my screen name. There should be some official AF rule against that.

I wanted to just delete the post but I was convinced not to. She has threatened to deprive me of future services... food related and otherwise

[2.2 Straight six]

she's not threatening to remove the toilet paper in the bathroom too?

[00accord44]

Originally Posted by 2.2 Straight six

i don't know what the hell miracle whip is, but mayo owns....

Miracle Whip
Its only acceptable in tuna salad , chicken salad, and egg salad. And even then, mayo is better. Be glad you've never had it. I guess its only sold in the US. Thank god we haven't burdened the rest of the earth with this stuff

Originally Posted by 2.2 Straight six

she's not threatening to remove the toilet paper in the bathroom too?

I believe she's planning on replacing it with a block of sandpaper

[2.2 Straight six]

interesting.



recently, i've only been using wikipedia to read about sex positions and stuff...

[blindside.AMG]

Meh, I like MW better than regular mayo. It's like mayo with a tangy twist!! Send that sandwich my way!!!!

[00accord44]

Originally Posted by 2.2 Straight six

recently, i've only been using wikipedia to read about sex positions and stuff...

I didn't even know they had that type of stuff on wiki! I would study up, but according to the lady on my right I won't be needing any of that info any time soon.

[2.2 Straight six]

haw haw.

back to the cunnilingus page....

[blindside.AMG]

Fucking hell!! Do you guys ever sleep??!?! Every time I get on here you guys are bantering back and forth!!!!

[2.2 Straight six]

i got up like an hour ago. i went to bed at like 10am.

wiki owns when it comes to sex stuff, you can find like anything on there!

[00accord44]

Originally Posted by blindside.AMG

Fucking hell!! Do you guys ever sleep??!?! Every time I get on here you guys are bantering back and forth!!!!

Sleep is for the weak. Plus its 6pm in chicago, no time for sleeping. I've been stuck in the house for the past 2 days. All I can do is sit on the computer, watch movies/sports, and occasionally study (usually for school, but I just spent 10 minutes reading up on sex positions on wiki)