Anyone up to the challenge?

[96 Jetta Gl]

The cars a 96 Jetta Gl 2.0 and she's a doozy, problem is the low beams were screwing up and then just shut off altogether, replaced fuses (with same 10A) and lost windsheild wipers and rear defrost. Looked through wiring and disconnected battery (stupid mistake, realize it now). Reconnected battery and alarm (very f*ckin loud alarm) went off, apparently only way to shut it off is the drivers or passengers door with key. Passengers lock comes right out and drivers side was broken and the mechanic who fixed it (god bless his little heart) didn't hook the alarm back to it. I disconnected hood sensor and alarm stopped car started and voila! low beams, wipers, the whole nine.Shut her down for the night, started in morning no wipers, lowbeams, rear defrost and heating fan. Disconnected battery again and now the alarm activates when I reconnect, it doesn't go off until I try the ignition. I need a way to safely deactivate the alarm and to find out which reduction relay I need to replace to get my low beams, wipers, etc.

[96 Jetta Gl]

Picked up what I was told to be the proper relay this morning from a technician at Hillcrest Volkswagen, installed. Took door apart and hooked a 3 prong male end back into lock mechanism traced wires back into car and found a red/white wire coming out of door port to be cut (probably by the flippin sweet mechanic) and the other end from car had a female connector on it. So I went and got some bullet connectors, cut wire and intalled (only could get about an 1/8" of bare wire off door port) and alarm still will not disarm. So two questions: does it matter which wire ends you put male or female on? and when the alarm is disarmed the light on the radio stops blinking correct?

[96 Jetta Gl]

Picked up what I was told to be the proper relay this morning from a technician at Hillcrest Volkswagen, installed. Took door apart and hooked a 3 prong male end back into lock mechanism traced wires back into car and found a red/white wire coming out of door port to be cut (probably by the flippin sweet mechanic) and the other end from car had a female connector on it. So I went and got some bullet connectors, cut wire and intalled (only could get about an 1/8" of bare wire off door port) and alarm still will not disarm. So two questions: does it matter which wire ends you put male or female on? and when the alarm is disarmed the light on the radio stops blinking correct?

[96 Jetta Gl]

Picked up what I was told to be the proper relay this morning from a technician at Hillcrest Volkswagen, installed. Took door apart and hooked a 3 prong male end back into lock mechanism traced wires back into car and found a red/white wire coming out of door port to be cut (probably by the flippin sweet mechanic) and the other end from car had a female connector on it. So I went and got some bullet connectors, cut wire and intalled (only could get about an 1/8" of bare wire off door port) and alarm still will not disarm. So two questions: does it matter which wire ends you put male or female on? and when the alarm is disarmed the light on the radio stops blinking correct?