Meh.

[Nicole8188]

Maybe this should be in the emo forum...

Where do I start?

• College sucks, I can't get up and go to class, I don't sleep for 3-4 days at a time, and then I crash. I feel like I'm on a path to nowhere, I can't name a single thing I'm actually passionate about. I thought I was interested in philosophy and religions and stuff, but then I realized that I'm lying. I'm not. I just like the intellectual vibe it gives off.

• I'm so stressed about not having money, the school is screwing me and not giving me the money I'm supposed to live on. I need a new job, but I love my old one and I don't want to quit, but the money I make barely covers the gas that it takes to drive there.

• I have to do my own fucking tax papers for the school and call my own damn doctor and I just want to throw a tantrum and be a kid again and not deal with anything. What happened to the times when the hardest thing I had to deal with was what to eat for dinner? Bring that back...

• I miss my boyfriend, and I can't stop wondering whether or not he's going to visit me, that's all I think about and I can't focus on other things at all. I'm stupid and insecure so I ask him dumb questions that make him mad. I've turned into one of those crazy teenage girls that needs reassurance that I swore I'd never become.

• I'm breaking out because I'm stressed, and that's making me feel worse because I feel ugly. I eat my weight in chocolate regularly.

I just want to listen to music and hibernate and live on a pacific island. Does anyone know of any places in Bali for rent? I'm a good snorkeler.

[Oz]

Why aren't you sleeping normally?

And don't stress, it's just a phase, you'll ride it out. Responsibility sucks huh?

[Nicole8188]

Originally Posted by Oz

Why aren't you sleeping normally?

And don't stress, it's just a phase, you'll ride it out. Responsibility sucks huh?

I was expecting "Welcome to the real world..."

I can't figure out why I can't sleep, I try to, but it just doesn't come. And yes, it does suck. I'm already sick of it. Sssshhh...don't tell my mom.

[Igovert500]

I went through alot of hte same things. For me it was more like, freshman year was the year where I missed my old friends and was depressed, but it did get alot better.

Sophmore year was an absolute blast

Junior year I was really dispassionate about my major, I was really really stressed over finances. And considered dropping out just to pay for alot of bills, both my own and family responsibilities.

Senior year, 95% of my friends had graduated at least a year before me, and I pretty much hibernated with my girlfriend and hung out with my brother on the weekends. All of us still broke adn stressed on finances.

So I guess I worried about a few of the same issues, all I can say really is to enjoy the time you have there. College flies by, and then once you are out, you will never have such a great time. I still hang out and drink alot with my friends, but it's never quite the same and the older they get the fewer still party as much.

I know having a good time wont solve all of your problems, but if you get too stressed out, that wont either. Financial stress was probably the hardest on me. I had a few off and on jobs and took out a HUGE loan. But if you can score a decent paying job locally, that will help alot.

Motivating yourself to get to class is really up to you. And I'm not one to talk, because I actually took classes that I only showed up for the midterm and finals. However, I knew what was needed of me to get the grades I wanted, and I knew when I had to buckle down and self-motivate.

Anyway, not that I can really give you an answer, but the best thing is to talk about it to someone and just get it out. Most schools have stress related hotlines where you can jsut call and vent. You don't have to be suicidal to make use of them, and they are anonymous so if you don't ahve a good friend or something and don't wanna post up here or whatever, you can always try them.

Just get it out though, don't let it overcome you. Because that's when your grades and relationships suffer, as you probably already know. Good luck, and remember, college is supposed to be fun just as much as it's supposed to be educational.

[vinnym86]

poor nicole... you're so down about this you actually properly bulleted your thread. i hope i helped out a little bit, or atleast cheered you up. remember, go to a doc and talk to him about your sleeplessness; it is really unhealthy.

[fredjacksonsan]

Originally Posted by Nicole8188

I can't figure out why I can't sleep, I try to, but it just doesn't come. And yes, it does suck. I'm already sick of it. Sssshhh...don't tell my mom.

First of all, hang in there. Everyone goes through the same, and this all sounds pretty much normal. At least you've recognized it early so you can take action.

Sleeping? Quit thinking of everything when it's bedtime. Write down your concerns as they come up, and resolve to think of them and their solutions the next day. Quit watching TV (if you are) and try to get some exercise during the afternoon. Set a regular time to go to bed.

The whole malaise thing is due to not having enough sleep. Once you solve that issue it'll be much easier to get things in line.

Quit eating junk. A little chocolate is great, but a lot will give you mood swings etc as your blood sugar crashes. A good diet will also probably help you sleep, and will help you avoid the "freshman 15".

Get on a schedule and stick to it. Not being able to get up for classes in the morning not only shows you're not getting enough sleep, but will get you kicked out of school. Instead of having 90% free time now and someone to schedule your activities, you have to start scheduling for yourself - in college, no one will do it for you.

Job. Get a job locally, tell the DZ you'll be back over the summer but you have to focus on school. They'll understand, based on how you've said they are in other posts. If you're not planning on being a skydive instructor as a career, then it's not going to hurt anything.

School finances...let me guess, they are taking their sweet f-ing time getting you the grant/loan money that you applied for long ago. Sucks, I know. I once applied in June for a loan, and got it in January. It's the system, it's broken, but it's what's out there. So maybe pick up that other job until the $$ comes through.

A distant boyfriend isn't easy, that's for sure. Apologize for being a little nuts, and be honest that the whole college thing is blowing your mind right now.

Most of all, don't be helpless. YOU are in charge of you, so make a plan, and stop wallowing. DO instead of thinking about doing.

And good luck, you'll be fine. Just don't let yourself get in the way of where you're going.

-edit- Oh yeah, and the reason you take courses in college is to find out what you like. Or not. Some classes will totally suck, others will be to your liking. Learn to work through the sucky ones, it'll help later on when your boss is an a-hole.

[Nicole8188]

AAAGGGGHHHH!!!!

So, I just went and turned all the forms in to the school. And the lady tells me it's going to take a MONTH before I get any money. I just spent the last $30 in my bank account last night on food because I thought I'd get the money before this week ends.

I had money saved, in the event something like this happens, but I had to buy books for my classes. AAAAGGGHGHGHGH!! How the hell am I supposed to live?

[skibum1111]

Yup, been there. Didn't want to live in the dorm so I commuted. Huge tuition bill that the loans were supposed to cover (which they did, but they didn't come in until the following March!!!) that I had to start paying on to stay in school. Part time job that didn't pay enough to cover tuition, never mind gas, books, food, things like that. I ended up dropping one class, working two jobs, loosing the girlfriend (which was a good thing anyway), and paying for everything at the last possible second, which is something I hate doing but had to do it anyway. I survived, but it was a tough year. Didn't have money to do anything, if I wanted to see any friends they had to come over as I couldn't afford the gas. Would I do it again? Absolutely. Problems can be worked out, its just a matter of figuring out what you are going to do, making your plan and sticking to it. As for the sleep thing, you have too much on your mind when you go to bed, plus chocolate has caffiene in it which will not help you in getting to sleep. An idea was given earlier on how to take things off your mind when you go to bed. It's good advice, and it does work. Just give your body and mind enough time to adjust, once you get into a healthy pattern with sleep everything else will start to fall into place. Good luck.

[Oz]

Have you ever done a monthly budget and stuck to it? Could be the perfect time. I'm sure someone on here could give you a hand if you asked.

[vinnym86]

college = not having money when you need money... doesn't it rock? my advise for quick cash? go around the dorms with a bucket collecting change so you can "adopt and free a dolphin from a zoo"... you'll make atleast $117.37 that way, trust me. Just don't blow every last penny on drugs and profuse amounts of alcohol with it. and don't get angry if coinstar takes a small chunk of that cash.

[fredjacksonsan]

Originally Posted by Nicole8188

AAAGGGGHHHH!!!!

So, I just went and turned all the forms in to the school. And the lady tells me it's going to take a MONTH before I get any money. I just spent the last $30 in my bank account last night on food because I thought I'd get the money before this week ends.

I had money saved, in the event something like this happens, but I had to buy books for my classes. AAAAGGGHGHGHGH!! How the hell am I supposed to live?

That's when you let the parents know what's going on and hit them up for funding - or a loan. Unless they're against you being in college.

[gouldie1903]

go to class, take notes, do the work, study and get good grades. sleep or try to when not doing anything i just mentioned. if you have a meal plan use that for food. and unless you have all easy classes you wont have time to think about anything else. once you get into it you'll be fine.

[00accord44]

Dizamn. College life is pretty ass sometimes. Especially when it comes to the giant hole that seems to be burned through your pocket. I definitely suggest finding a better paying job. I'm sure orlando has something to offer. Get used to waiting for the school to give you money. Its the same story at all schools. Its a major pain in the ass but after you become accustomed to the constant abuse from school administration, you'l be able to let it roll off your back with minimal cursing.

As for the whole no money = no food problem... call mom/dad. If they want you to live, they'll give you some money. College is a time when you need to assert your independence, but to starve for the sake of seeming responsible is foolish. Maybe try to find a temp agency to work with. They usually pay decent depending on your skill set. Whatever you do, do NOT purchase things from shady characters on campus and pawn them later. It won't work out in your favor... believe me

If your boyfriend can't handle your college-induced mood swings and complaints then let him put up a post about it and we'll tell him to stop being such a tool. We would take your side over his any day (shhh... don't tell him)

Don't let your college years be wasted away stressing all the time. As poor and downtrodden I was (and still am) at school, I always managed to find ways to enjoy myself. You have to if you want to maintain sanity.

edit- one of the greatest skills I picked up at school was the art of napping. If you can manage a regular nap schedule, you'll have a lot more energy. You'd be suprised what a 30 minute power nap can do for you.

[WickedNYCowboy]

Nicole, Hang tough. I am assuming your away at school. I went away and gave it one shot during the hardest times of my life before I went and only got worse. Not giving it another shot is one of the biggest regrets I have/had. I am now on to BIGGER and better things.

[Damien]

Since Oz didn't say it, welcome to the real world.

Quit the job. There are plenty of jobs around UCF. Tons and tons! If you're smart, get one over the winter when most people leave and then prove yourself and you'll continue to have it. Had a few friends do that.

No meal plan? It's expensive, but when you're in a situation like this, it's worth it. Wish i was there, I'd show you all the tips and tricks of the area. Shoot, only cause i had loans and 75% off tuition is why i had money. no worries, ill treat ya at my place when i come back in the winter!

just take it one day at a time. you gotta feel your way through, it's not easy for everyone. think of it like high school, only no parents. you gotta have the responsibility to study and everything, but you're still just going to class, doing h/w, etc. let me know if you need help around there. i gotta plenty of friends down there. if you need a good release, go hang with Lamda Theta Phi over rush. Cool bunch of guys, latinos of course. they're not too crazy, but be sure to get involved. it keeps you focused and being involved is your hang out time but doesn't neccesarily lead you of course.

like i said, IM me anytime you need help down there. maybe ill see ya in a few months.