Some Jokes

[J SPEC SilEighty]

With all the jokes that are being posted I decided to post a few that I found

SEX ON THE BEACH
A guy is walking along the beach, when he meets a girl with no legs, crying.

"Why are you crying?" he asks.

"I've never been hugged," she says. The guy hugs her, but she continues crying.

"Why are you crying?" he asks.

"I've never been kissed," she says. The guy kisses her, but she continues crying.

"Why are you crying?" he asks.
"I've never been screwed," she says. The guy picks her up and throws her into the water.

"There," he says. "Now you're screwed."


Wise words
Showing the way.

Secrets of a good relationship.....

1. It is important to find a women that cooks and cleans.

2. It is important to find a women that makes good money.

3. It is important to find a women that likes to have sex.

4 . And it is important that these three women never meet.


Kids say the darndest things
Career day.

A teacher asks her students to discuss what their dads do for a living.

Little Mary raises her hand first and says, "My dad's a lawyer for the government. He puts the bad guys in jail."

Little Jack goes next: "My dad's a doctor. He makes sick people better."

All the kids in the class take their turn except Little Walter. The teacher asks him, "What does your dad do?"

Walter replies, "My dad's dead."

"I'm sorry to hear that. What did he do before he died?"

"He turned blue and shit on the living room carpet."


Three Girls Go Camping
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.

While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream.

Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."

[Steel]

that list one is just..........ewwwwwwwww

[YogsVR4]

[ragt20]

and then :apuke: eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[ac427cpe]

that last one is just wrong...:apuke: