i need a girls point of view ( problem with my girl) :(

mellowboy · #1 08-18-2002, 02:28 PM

Hey sup girls! Well there was a bit drama goin on last nite (aug 17.) The whole day went really good with my girl and i. I went to her house (an hour drive) to pick her up to go this local car show by my house. Then i had to go back to her place so we can go to her friends 21st b-day party. Well we all went to this bar and then they all decided to go to the hotel and throw a party there. Then they decided to go there friends house and throw the party there. It was like 3 a.m. and i was tired. Everyone was drinking and so i was out of place since i don't drink. My girl hasn't either. Well anyways her parents are kinda strict about her stayin out real late (she's Laotion and i guess the parents are stict on ther kids). So i had to go home since i live pretty far. She asked me if i was gonna make it there ok. Since i was tired she was worried that i might swerve or something. She said she's gonna call me when i get home just to check on me. I told that she has to leave the party since i don't want her mom to bitch at her and making me look bad on my side. I respect her family so they like me and i don't wanna lose her parents respect. She wanted to stay and wait for the cake but everybody was drinkin and probably forgot about the cake. I asked if they bought the cake like 7 am would u have stayed that long? Then she said fine i'll leave and let me get my cousin out of there. So i figured that when i leave she's gonna be home. Well i arrived home and she hasn't called. I called her cell like 4 time in like 15 minutes. It was 4:15 am at the time. So then i had to call her house to see if she's there and i was kinda "iffy" about callin her house all late. Her mom answered and asked me when did i get home and wheres my daughter. I told her that she was suppose to be home when i left from the party and so i guess she's still there. So her mom tells me to keep callin her cell. So she never picked up. I'm starting to get worried. So i decided to drive back another hour with my expired license and goin about 115 mph!! I didn't care about anything but her. There was alot of liquor and guys there and i was really worried that something might go wrong. Then i tried finding her friends house since it was the first time goin there. I finally found the house and i was looking for her car ( she has a decked out 2000 blue si by the way) and i saw it there. I was surprised and dissappointed that she didn't leave. Well the party was stopped cause that gurls mom came home early from work i guess and found lots of drunk ppl there. I came in the house and i went downstairs and saw my gurl. OH man i exploded on her in front of all her friends. Everybody was like oh shit. I swear that i have never exploded in front of strangers like that before but man that got to me. I told i need to talk to her outside. I told we gonna go home. She gotta go get her cousin first. So then i was waiting outside. She came out and i started bitching at her. I asked her if she cares about me and she was wondering why i was asking that. I mean come on she said she was worried about me driving so late and yet she didn't bother calling me or picking up her cell? I don't even know whats up with her. I yelled at her sayin that her mom was all worried and asked her why she didn't pick up the cell. She said she left it in the car. I said thats stupid. Her cousin had the nerve to get in between and said stop yelling at her u asshole. I was like wtf? My girl was crying. I'm not a mean guy and i'm not a jerk. I was so freakin worried about her. She lied to me and made it show that she didn't care about me. Her cousin was treating me like i was a bad guy or something. Her cousin was sayin stop yelling (which i did) and sayin that this brings memories of her ex boyfriend. I told her cousin well i'm not violent towards girls ok and i don't throw pots and vases. She said , "oh hell nah u don't know shit about my past and he threw that shit at my car not me." i told her thats what my girl told me. She told me to shut the fuck up. I didn't deserve this. It was my gurl's fault. She said she couldn't leave cause her "friends'' didn't want her to go. I was like thats stupid. I asked if its worth losin your parents respect and me over some party? She kept cryin and i was apologizing to her and her cuzin. Then i apologize to her friends since i made an ass out of myself in front of them. I only apologize to my girl for yelling at her if front of her friends only.Then i told my gurl that i'm gonna go now. She asked me if i was gonna be ok about me driving home. I said yeh and i gave her a kiss on her cheek. So i drove home and i was so tired that i swerved into the corn field! It was 6:30 am and i was about 20 minutes away from home.No damage on my car and some guy in the semi truck helped me get my car out. Everything was all good. I called my gurl to tell her what happen and she was i guess "scared". I asked her if she was mad and she said well lets switch places. She's like what happens if i did that to u ..how would u feel? I say i'd feel guilty and embarrassed since i got yelled in front of everybody and i guess mad. If she's gonna be mad she should be mad at herself...rite?

My question is...did i do anything wrong? I really need a girls point of view on this. Sorry about the long post but i just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks i appreciate it.

higgimonster · #2 08-19-2002, 11:25 AM

well, i am not a girl but from what i can tell you did everything fine.
if she can't understand how much you care about her (which you abviously do because you went back to get her, an hour away) then you need to find ways to show her that. Just be carefull that this kind of thing doesn't happen too much (her not acknolodging your calls and your concerns). I dated a girl for a while that treated me like that and I regret the time i wasted on her.
but overall you did nothinbg wrong, and the fact that you apologized to her friends for making a scene shows that you respect her friends and her.
this may be a time to test her and see how much she cares about you. Just make sure not to break in and apologize for loveing her and careing about her. You did the right thing.

now mabey a girls input would help a little too.
good luck

XawdGirlX · #3 08-21-2002, 08:23 PM

Hey im new. :jump::angel: i read your post and i think i might be able to help. at least i hope. you see girls like to be treated with respect. girls are very sensitive. when the person that they love or care very much about yells at us in front of our friends it hurts us. yes what you did was infe. you were worried. if i was u i would do the same thing. girls are really sensitive towards guys espcially if the have been in a abusive relantionship before. guys might not take things seriuosly and get upset but girls do. we dont like to get yelled at and treated wrong by a guy that says they love us. we have strong reactions about certain things especially when it comes to relantionship. what u did was great, wonderful and caring. u showed that you cared by going back to make sure she was ok. also apologizing to her friends showed that you have respect for those who she hangs out with. the reason why she started crying was probably cuz she felt hurt that you did that. (which is not wrong at all) she probably thought that you didt trust her around with her friends that drink. i hope this has helped you. if you need any more advice. just post here or you can email me at [email protected]. i hope everything works out with your and your girlfriend. Bye

XawdGirlX · #4 08-21-2002, 08:59 PM

just checkin if my pic works

mellowboy · #5 08-22-2002, 10:32 AM

Hey thanks for both of your advice. Yeh she did get hurt cause i yelled at her in front of everybody including in front of her friends mom! I couldn't believe i did that and it was the first and only time that i'm or ever gonna do that. We are kool now but now her cousin gets on my nerve. Its her bestfriend and she thinks i'm an asshole? I was like ok whatever i didn't mean to show that i cared about her cousin too much.

amy@af · #6 09-30-2002, 12:58 PM

now what is up with that? i'm the only girl up in the 4th gen forum...you should have sent me a link to this!

you really didn't do anything wrong. i can understand why you were upset. but like XawdGirlX girls need to be treated with respect. it's like a big thing between girls to have their man treat them like a queen in front of their friends. next time (even though your about to blow a gasket) just tell her it's time to go. save that arguement for the ride home or the morning after. i know, easier said than done. but if you can do that you'll have something important figured out that 2/3 of men never figure out!

mellowboy · #7 09-30-2002, 03:56 PM

haha. Thanks AMI! I was actually thinkin of sending the link there but not many girls are into older hondas...rite?

I really appreciate that you replied to this post. Well on the update.. me and her takin time off...possibly breaking up? Not sure how i feel now but we'll see how things turn out.

amy@af · #8 09-30-2002, 04:13 PM

there are 2 good sayings "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and "if you love someone, let them go. if they don't come back it was never ment to be"

i've known jer a long time now. but when i first met him...i dunno. his friends were all thugs and he seemed too nice. i backed away. 6 mons later we met up again. same story...i backed out. this went on for like 2 almost 3 years. we lost touch and then met up again...i moved in with him and it's been a good 7 years since. so i'm a firm believer in...if it isn't working, take a time out, and then see what happens.

lol, if you would have posted this on our board you probably would have heard "ahhh, fuck that bitch". my theory of guys like that: there is some strong woman ruling his life...and it's probably his mom