job hunting.......no....wait.......now it's PIERCINGS!...and 'stickmen', the movie!

[taranaki]

I've had enough of cheese

Too bad the job market is full of bullshit like this.........


DOUBLE-SPEAK IN VACANCY ADVERTISEMENTS!


§ "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": (translation)
We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to your co-workers.
§ "COMPETITIVE SALARY": (translation)
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
§ "SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE": (translation)
...who still live with their parents and won't mind our internship-level salaries.
§ "CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": (translation)
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well. A couple of the really daring guys wear earrings.
§ "JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM": (translation)
We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.
§ "MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": (translation)
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
§ "SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": (translation)
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
§ "DUTIES WILL VARY": (translation)
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
§ "MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": (translation)
We have no quality control.
§ "NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE": (translation)
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
§ "PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": (translation)
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
§ "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": (translation)
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
§ "GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": (translation)
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
Responses to Want Ads

§ "I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION": (translation)
I've used Microsoft Office©.
§ "MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES": (translation)
I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
§ "I'M PERSONABLE": (translation)
I give lots of unsolicited advice to co-workers.
§ "I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL": (translation)
I carry a Day-Timer©.
§ "I AM ADAPTABLE": (translation)
I've changed jobs a lot.
§ "I AM ON THE GO": (translation)
I'm never at my desk.
§ "I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED": (translation)
The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there.
§ "I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON": (translation)
Like, I'm gonna hold my breath waiting for your form letter thanking me "for my interest, and wishing me luck in my future career."

[Spec2 Girl]

Hahaha, they're good. There's some similar ones for Real Estate ads. :hehehe:

[darkness]

Originally posted by taranaki
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": (translation)
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": (translation)
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": (translation)
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": (translation)
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": (translation)
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

These seem too familiar.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": (translation)
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well. A couple of the really daring guys wear earrings.

And for some reason, this one just proves quite amusing

[Spec2 Girl]

Originally posted by darkness


And for some reason, this one just proves quite amusing

Are you daring James???

[darkness]

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Are you daring James???

I like to think so. You should hear the comments I got at work. Though the parents should prove interesting tonight

[Spec2 Girl]

Originally posted by darkness


I like to think so. You should hear the comments I got at work. Though the parents should prove interesting tonight

EEK! The parents. Just joking. I'm sure they'll be fine.

[slave]

They were great, I always love the "Juniors wanted; experience required" ones we get over here!!

[ci5ic]

Originally posted by taranaki

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": (translation)
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well. A couple of the really daring guys wear earrings.

Hehehe... I must be extremely daring... I've got way more piercings than that...

[darkness]

Originally posted by ci5ic


Hehehe... I must be extremely daring... I've got way more piercings than that...

I'm workin on it

[slave]

=( Sad day today, had to remove my tragus piercing, used to ok to cover it up with a piece of band-aid, so Im left with my nipples and my tat.

[darkness]

Originally posted by slave
=( Sad day today, had to remove my tragus piercing, used to ok to cover it up with a piece of band-aid, so Im left with my nipples and my tat.

bugger, I got my first on saturday. just the ear, but thinking about the eyebrow too and maybe a tat.

[slave]

Originally posted by darkness


bugger, I got my first on saturday. just the ear, but thinking about the eyebrow too and maybe a tat.

ah ok, I HAD my navel done, weird for a guy I know but I removed it cause it got annoying. I have a tat in anglo saxon runes below my navel.

[ci5ic]

LOL... Gotcha all beat!

1 in each ear.
2 in my tongue.
2 madisons (front of my neck)
1 nape (back of my neck)
1 Labret
2 nipples
1 guiche (hehehe... you'll have to look that one up )

[darkness]

Originally posted by ci5ic

1 guiche

No way in hell I'd be gettin that one.:apuke:

[Spec2 Girl]

Originally posted by ci5ic
LOL... Gotcha all beat!

1 in each ear.
2 in my tongue.
2 madisons (front of my neck)
1 nape (back of my neck)
1 Labret
2 nipples
1 guiche (hehehe... you'll have to look that one up )

Jeez that's a lot of piercings! I've only got my ears (done twice in each ear) and my navel.