She is leaving in a few days

[elementskater15]

My girlfriend has to leave the country to go home to Thailand on the 27th of this month...its going to be really hard on us. She is not my first gf, but she is my first love. I know that first loves rarely last forever, I just wish we could spend more time together while we love each other like this. We have changed so much in each other and I just dont want to see the good times end. We have been so good for each other...I brought my 56 in algebra up to a 83 because she stayed on my ass about it....I'm not mad at the world any more..I have started drinking more but oh well, can't have it perfect. Even my taste in music has changed. I used to be all about rock...I find myself listening to Lifehouse and Rascal Flatts on a regular basis not. its funny because I can understand what all those songs mean now. One of my friends told me what he thinks will happen, and I fear that he is right. he says we will call each other every day at first...then a few times a week, then a few times a month, then once every now and then, then just kind of drift apart. I know its hard to love a telephone or a computer screen, plus Thailand is exacly 12 hours away in time. If we can hold our relationship together me and my best friend are going to vacation in Thailand for about two months after we graduate. We want to take his escalade if we can...they'll hear it coming and think there is another tsunami on the way, lol. She just seems too good to have to let go over something like this. She is a straight "A" student, funny, beautiful, and best of all she loves me. She told me that if I come to Thailand she is coming back with me. She wants to go to college here anyway, her parents love me. I remember the first think her dad asked me over the phone; "Are you black?" He had never heard a black person from the states and he thought I was cause my voice is really deep. We still joke about that. Who in their right mind could forget about that? I know no one has encountered our exact situation before, but I would like some advice on how to handle her departure. I know most of the people here have had their share of relationships and I just need some mature(should be somewhere other than AF for this) advice from someone who has been kind of close to where I am at.

[Jet-Lee]

I'm going to have to agree with your friend dude. Plus, you're in highschool(or just graduated), live it up, don't tie yourself down already.

[elementskater15]

I already told her that I'm gonna party my ass off, I am, I'm gonna live for me and not have to worry about her overbearing host family breathing down my back. I'm gonna be at Club La Vela every time there is a concert getting trashed and just having fun with my friends, I'm not going to waste my last year as a kid by spending it wating on phone calls. I even went so far to tell her if she comes back she can leave any time she isnt happy with me any more, because feelings change when people are as young as we are.

[highteknology]

one word of advice i would give you is that you consider the fact that you may find someone else. either at these concerts or just walkin around the mall or something. things happen sometimes when you get ridiculously faded.

this is gonna sound harsh (i don't mean for it to but why sugar coat it) don't pass up some of THE best years of your life hoping that if/when you go visit her that it will just pick up from where you two left off. she is gonna meet other guys you are gonna meet other girls. simply put. you'll get lonely, and not just in a sexual way, but having some one there to talk to, just to do the normal things that couples do. don't let someone half way around the globe control what you do simply because you are holding onto a string of hope.

sorry to put it that way but better than beating around the bush. plus i was in a situation like this. granted my gf didn't move across the ocean but still it was hard but once you learn that you can move on it gets better.

[travis712]

GL with everything bro. Hope you can work something out with her, I know she means a lot to you.

[elementskater15]

Originally Posted by highteknology

one word of advice i would give you is that you consider the fact that you may find someone else. either at these concerts or just walkin around the mall or something. things happen sometimes when you get ridiculously faded.

this is gonna sound harsh (i don't mean for it to but why sugar coat it) don't pass up some of THE best years of your life hoping that if/when you go visit her that it will just pick up from where you two left off. she is gonna meet other guys you are gonna meet other girls. simply put. you'll get lonely, and not just in a sexual way, but having some one there to talk to, just to do the normal things that couples do. don't let someone half way around the globe control what you do simply because you are holding onto a string of hope.

sorry to put it that way but better than beating around the bush. plus i was in a situation like this. granted my gf didn't move across the ocean but still it was hard but once you learn that you can move on it gets better.

I know it bro, its not harsh. I know there is no way to pick up the pieces and just resume a life like we had, I want to start a different life with her. Like, I know the chance is slim but I'm willing to try for her. Thats all she wanted me to do was try...I'm going to for her. I remember the other day....I was driving the caddy up to St. George Island...I remember I had wind on my face, music blairing, my best friend next to me, pipes ringing in my ear...i was just happy. I can be happy without her, I'm not going to let my feelings hold me back from living. I'll know she loves me like she says she does if she comes back...if she leaves everything she has ever known to come back here for me that says a lot, but if no thats ok, I'll move on. I'll only be 19 or 20 when I find out any way, I'll have the rest of my life to chase women.

Edit: I'm not saying I'm going to stop living and obsess over her for 2 years....just that I'm not going to give up, I lived without a good woman for 17 years I think I can do it for 2 more...I really dont want want another gf till I'm partly through college any way

[highteknology]

yeah man that's a good way to look at it. i guess what i was tryin to say in all that junk i wrote was this...think about what you will do if you find someone else that is just as special as this girl, if not more, and this other girl comes into your life. what are you going to do/say to your current girl?? even though you don't want another girlfriend until like your second in college or somethin, things happen for reasons and you can't really help some of them. im' sure you know like everyone else out there. you think you find the one, and you give it a chance and it may last for a few years or it may turn out to be the ONE.

either way, i hope it works out for you man. and im sure i don't have to tell you this, if nothing else happens with this current girl, at least stay friends, good friends are hard to replace. she sounds like one of them.

[elementskater15]

I know, if there is someone out there better than her out there for me I will treat her like gold, I've learned a lot from this. I'll just tell this girl straight up I found someone else. I've looked all around this forsaken town and she is the only girl I just felt differently about. But then again, almost everone has been through what I have emotion-wise and I know what people are talking about when they say I will prolly find another...I just dont want to have to settle with less than what I have now...but then again if I feel like I am settling then I guess I'm not in love with whomever I may meet in the future..meh, I have the rest of my life to fogure this crap out...and I dont think anyone ever actually figures it out, they just go with it.

[losingxposer]

Originally Posted by elementskater15

I already told her that I'm gonna party my ass off, I am, I'm gonna live for me and not have to worry about her overbearing host family breathing down my back. I'm gonna be at Club La Vela every time there is a concert getting trashed and just having fun with my friends, I'm not going to waste my last year as a kid by spending it wating on phone calls. I even went so far to tell her if she comes back she can leave any time she isnt happy with me any more, because feelings change when people are as young as we are.

Umm not to change the subject but where exactly are you? Club La Vela is only 45 miles away from me and i party there all the time.

[elementskater15]

Originally Posted by losingxposer

Umm not to change the subject but where exactly are you? Club La Vela is only 45 miles away from me and i party there all the time.

I live in Port St Joe, FL

[MonsterBengt]

My girlfriend is at a christian camp, for one month. its been 1½ week since she went away. It sucks so much, and i cant really focus at anything. Uhm.. sorry for not be so much of help.. but I can always throw in an old quote;

It's better to have loved and lost than never have loved.

[elementskater15]

Originally Posted by MonsterBengt

My girlfriend is at a christian camp, for one month. its been 1½ week since she went away. It sucks so much, and i cant really focus at anything. Uhm.. sorry for not be so much of help.. but I can always throw in an old quote;

It's better to have loved and lost than never have loved.

Dont think I dont know it, bro. Listen to You Got it Bad by Usher...it'll hit close to home

[elementskater15]

She left this morning at 7:05. I woke up at 2 to be at the airport with her. I made a promise to her..I'm going to try my best to keep it...wish me luck!

[highteknology]

good luck bro, good luck.

[elementskater15]

I havent even been upset that she's gone...idk why. It feels like she is still here with me some how. It's just a shame that no one wanted her to leave...(even her parents wanted her to stay). I was the only one not crying at the airport....when I was holding her for the last time i wispered in her ear asking if she remembered the promise I made her...when she said yes i looked her in the face and pulled my eyelid down to show her I wasn't crying..I managed to make her laugh during one of the mosr nerve racking times of her life...I wanted her last memory of me for the rime being to be of me happy. I learned two things from this whole experiece....life goes on and asians really cant drive