Need to vent-or something? Maybe advice?

[mike@af]

Finally going to vent this out...maybe I'll feel better and possibly get some advice.

I'm out to dinner with my family last Monday (June 5, not this past Monday) and we decide to walk the strip after we're done eating. My dad and I are lagging behind talking while my mom and brother walk ahead. My mom starts talking to a girl outside of another restraunt, my dad and I catch up. My mom was talking to one of my close friends from middle school. I havent seen her in four years. The rest of my family walk ahead and I stay back to talk.

I felt unusually comfortable talking to her. Normally talking with attractive women (even old friends) I am constantly running over what Im going to say next. Though, with her I dont think about anything, I just say what comes to me. Everything else in the world is gone but she and I. Something else I noticed that was different, was she was staring deep into my eyes. All I could focus on was her beautiful blue eyes too. There was nothing else. So we talk for a little bit. Then its time for each of us to go. She says we need to stay in touch, I say "definitely". She asks if I have MySpace, or have an AOL screen name. (Why the HELL didnt I ask her for her number?) Then she approaches me, we hug, and walk away.

Oh, by the way, turns out she lives in my neighborhood. She lives about 2 minutes down from me.

So a week passes by. I am absolutely crazy about her, I dont know why. I have a "weird", for lack of a better term, feeling. Different than with any of my previous girlfriends. I look up her number in the neighborhood directory, which is the number for where she lives not her cell phone number. I give her a ring in the afternoon. Her Mom answers, and tells me that she's in Kansas at a concert and will be back late that night. I ask her to tell Jax (Thats her nickname), that I called and I'll call back tomorrow.

The next night I call back. Her mom answers, and says she's not home from work. Then her mom says "When I told her you called last night it put a big smile on her face". I talk with her mom for a few minutes, turned out she told her mom a little bit about me. I ask to have her give me a call back, and I leave my number. All I could think about for the rest of the night was her smiling knowing that I called.

Wednesday (Yesterday), Im still thinking about her smiling hoping she would call. No call.

Still hasnt called as of now (Thursday 8:35PM EST). I dont want to call back and come off overeager, desperate, or anything.

For some reason I am going nuts. I cant explain it, and Im not going to even try. All I can think about is her. It sound so stupid, but its like she's possessed me. Nothing like this has happened with my previous girlfriends, so this just doesnt make any sense. See her once in four years, and Im head over heels...wtf.

Any advice or insight?

Please no smartass comments or stupid shit. Im not in the mood. I'll just delete your drivel.

I may add details I may have forgotten but I think I got everything important.

[stieh2000]

What the hell, go for it.

[quteasabutton]

maybe her mom didn't give her the message or she's been super busy with work? never know until you try

[mike@af]

Originally Posted by quteasabutten

maybe her mom didn't give her the message or she's been super busy with work? never know until you try

Both possible scenarios. Im afraid if I call too soon, then she'll think Im desperate or annoying. Part of it too is I think she might be interested, but I've learned not to assume shit. When I call back, if I shes not there I thought about asking her mom for Jax's cell number and calling her on that.

What do you think?

[eversio11]

Jesus Christ man, if you're this crazy about her just keep calling until you talk to her. Fuck sounding desperate or lame or whatever, who cares, you just took 15 minutes out of your day to ask for advice on an internet forum. You obviously feel strongly about her, just act on it. You're just wasting time you could be spending with her. Carpe diem. All that good stuff.

[jon@af]

I stick with the advice I gave you earlier. You've called her house twice in the past two days for a girl that you're interested in but haven't seen in a long time. Instead of calling again (which, in my opinion would seem more obsessive than 'hey, I wanna talk to you') wait til monday and let it stew over the weekend. She knows you called because her mom told her, so you don't have to keep calling, you know?

[eversio11]

Originally Posted by J_Swigz

I stick with the advice I gave you earlier. You've called her house twice in the past two days for a girl that you're interested in but haven't seen in a long time. Instead of calling again (which, in my opinion would seem more obsessive than 'hey, I wanna talk to you') wait til monday and let it stew over the weekend. She knows you called because her mom told her, so you don't have to keep calling, you know?

Right, and what if things are stewing with other men over the weekend? It's not worth waiting for if she's so close.

[jon@af]

Originally Posted by eversio11

Right, and what if things are stewing with other men over the weekend? It's not worth waiting for if she's so close.

Look at it this way: You run into a girl you haven't seen for 4 years. You talk one day for about 45 minutes and find out she's not too far away. Cool. You go your separate ways and get to thinking about her and how you're interested in her from talking and seeing her again.

Based on seeing her ONCE after 4 years, though you may be interested, you'd rather call her 3 days in a row and maybe even more asking for her until you talk to her instead of settling FOR THAT MOMENT with the fact that she knows you called and would like to talk to her again but don't want to seem over-eager and will instead wait 3 days before calling again?

I don't know man, I say wait till Sunday or Monday. You don't have to call her everyday until you get her. That's what you do when you're like 15 and have a cute little crush on a girl from school.

[Toksin]

I'm with swigz. You push too hard now she might get totally the wrong idea.

[mike@af]

I appreciate the advice. I think I'll wait to call her Sunday night.

I guess where I am at right now is trying to understand this, trying to figure out if she has any interest. I think thats whats driving me nuts right now.

[2.2 Straight six]

sunday night call, ask if she's around. if she is ask her to go get something to eat, a walk in the park or a movie. say you want to catch up with how she's doing and such. just a friends thing to get a feel for it.

[mike@af]

Originally Posted by 2.2 Straight six

sunday night call, ask if she's around. if she is ask her to go get something to eat, a walk in the park or a movie. say you want to catch up with how she's doing and such. just a friends thing to get a feel for it.

Yeah, I've got that bit planned out already. I plan on asking her to go for a walk in the park, to catch up. That is...if I can get a hold of her and she has any interest.

[2.2 Straight six]

how about a picnic? or is that too much? i mean if would be good if you could go to the park, sit down an talk, lots of socialising, the walking's good too, but the picnic allows you to be there almost in your own world. i think it would be good, but it could suggest that you want more that to be friends. that has an upside and downside depensing on the situation from her viewpoint.

you really have to think about how you feel in the situation, just walking allows a no-barriers thing an she won't feel "enclosed" but if it turns out she wants more then a picnic would be good.

maybe have the walk this week and if all goes well a picnic some other time.

[mike@af]

Originally Posted by 2.2 Straight six

how about a picnic? or is that too much? i mean if would be good if you could go to the park, sit down an talk, lots of socialising, the walking's good too, but the picnic allows you to be there almost in your own world. i think it would be good, but it could suggest that you want more that to be friends. that has an upside and downside depensing on the situation from her viewpoint.

you really have to think about how you feel in the situation, just walking allows a no-barriers thing an she won't feel "enclosed" but if it turns out she wants more then a picnic would be good.

maybe have the walk this week and if all goes well a picnic some other time.

Good advice. Getting to that point seems to be the hard part right now.

[2.2 Straight six]

just a walk first then, a good thing is to sit on a bench, i know how simple that sounds but it works. you can sit down, relaxed and talk. no barriers none of the have-to-wait-to-pack-up stuff associated with picnics so if you want to just get up and walk again you can. sunday afternoon's the best time. you can watch the world pass you by and it's just easy going.

if it goes well staying around while the sun sets could be good too, if she's interested the sun setting creates a god atmosphere and that's nothing but good news here.

i guess call around lunch time, if she's there suggest it, plan a time to meet her by her house or pick her up there, the detail's good, you don't want her to walk to meet you, she's nearby too so that's good.