Things you'd love to say at work but can't

[taranaki]

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhh... I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?



38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks


__________________________________________________ __

[tazdev]

the REAL number 1


"Fuck off"





as for
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.


I have used this one at work it worked well

[Spec2 Girl]

Originally posted by taranaki
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

Yes, yes, yes!

[curious]

Originally posted by taranaki
24. Do I look like a people person?

But the majority of these apply at my office - the Panda would agree

[ragt20]

Originally posted by taranaki


36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

:hehehe:

[ci5ic]

My personal favorite:
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

They're all really good though.

I'm beginning to enjoy Mr. T's posts.

[darkness]

Actually I might use that as a script for the meeting I'm about to go into.

[Sanchi]

haha all very good Mr. T, humm wish i could of said some of em yesterday when I had to prove how stuped the manegers in the other department was...

:sun: :flash:

[YogsVR4]

Rules to live by!