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  #1  
Old 07-29-2002, 05:16 PM
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Todays humorscope

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Excellent day to tell everyone you know that a "horsepower" is a unit of power equal to 746 watts in the U.S., but which is not quite equivalent to the English horsepower, which is 550 foot-pounds of work per second. Once their eyes glaze over, you can borrow money from them without them even fully realizing it.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will be overly impressed by a commercial for a golf club, which describes it as a "weapon of incredible range and power". You will make people nervous by referring to your pencil as "a weapon of incredible pointyness and surprise".

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Why did life develop in this fragile boundary between earth and sky? Because life exists at the edge of chaos. You'll find that is particularly true, this week.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Your main problem? You're not eating NEARLY enough strudel.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You feel like you're slowly being crushed at work, in a mental and spiritual sense. Perhaps travel would refresh you? For spiritually beneficial travel, I usually consult my neighborhood Astral Travel Agency.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Good day to count your blessings. Both of them.

Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Today you will begin a new hobby: collecting spores, molds, and fungus. You will find it richly rewarding, in a spiritual sense.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Your morning grumpiness and sluggishness will vanish soon, when you discover that the problem was just using the wrong type of deodorant soap. Soon you'll be stepping out of the shower, grinning like an imbecile!

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Excellent day to refer to everyone as "Doctor". This will make them grin, and they'll forget all about that favor they were going to ask of you.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will answer the phone today by shouting "You bloated sack of protoplasm!". Unfortunately, it's not your friend calling. It's your mother.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
A moth the size of a Boeing 747 will erupt from a nearby hillside today, and go off to help a huge semi-aquatic rubbery dinosaur fight off an alien attack. So what are you doing to help?

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Good day to curl up with a good book. Later, you will build a fort out of your furniture and some sheets, and shoot rubber bands at people.













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Old 07-29-2002, 05:25 PM
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Re: Todays humorscope

Quote:
Originally posted by YogsVR4


Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
A moth the size of a Boeing 747 will erupt from a nearby hillside today, and go off to help a huge semi-aquatic rubbery dinosaur fight off an alien attack. So what are you doing to help?
:huh:



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Old 07-29-2002, 05:32 PM
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Re: Todays humorscope

Quote:
Originally posted by YogsVR4
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Your morning grumpiness and sluggishness will vanish soon, when you discover that the problem was just using the wrong type of deodorant soap. Soon you'll be stepping out of the shower, grinning like an imbecile!

But I’ve been out of the shower for hours now! I am grinning like an imbecile though, but not because of the soap!
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Old 07-29-2002, 05:43 PM
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Re: Re: Todays humorscope

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Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
But I’ve been out of the shower for hours now! I am grinning like an imbecile though, but not because of the soap!
I hope its not because you forgot to dress yourself.













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Old 07-29-2002, 05:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by YogsVR4


I hope its not because you forgot to dress yourself.
Damn! I knew there was something I forgot to do this morning!! :hehehe:
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Old 07-29-2002, 06:02 PM
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Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Damn! I knew there was something I forgot to do this morning!! :hehehe:
ok we'll hace none of that here.....tis already hot enuff here
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Old 07-29-2002, 06:08 PM
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It probably is doctor, but it could always get hotter!

Continue please spec2
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Old 07-29-2002, 06:35 PM
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Continue please spec2
Thankyou, that is all! :finger:
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Old 07-29-2002, 06:44 PM
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What a let down doctor!
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Old 07-29-2002, 07:01 PM
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Quote:
Good day to curl up with a good book. Later, you will build a fort out of your furniture and some sheets, and shoot rubber bands at people.
Yep. *flick*
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Old 07-29-2002, 07:57 PM
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Quote:
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Today you will begin a new hobby: collecting spores, molds, and fungus. You will find it richly rewarding, in a spiritual sense.
i guess i picked the wrong day to develop an allergy to mold spores
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Old 07-29-2002, 08:48 PM
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Re: Todays humorscope

Quote:
Originally posted by YogsVR4

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will answer the phone today by shouting "You bloated sack of protoplasm!". Unfortunately, it's not your friend calling. It's your mother.

he he he he
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Old 07-29-2002, 08:50 PM
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Re: Re: Todays humorscope

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Originally posted by curious


he he he he
Why can I picture you doing that:P
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