Need help with life...

[tc3]

Well... you see the problem is this: I have grown to hate my life... I dont mean this in an emo way, and i have hopes of changing this.

The reasons i hate the way my life has become: Im 18, never had girlfriend, and screwed up the closest ive gotten on the first date. I have bad nervous problems in public, getting better tho but in highschool for whatever reason i would get too nervous to talk to teachers. And the last big reason is that i am overweight a bit... 210 pounds at about 6 foot tall... but have been working on that alot as well(lost 30 pounds since two months ago)

OK, so now that you know the background history of the situation, heres where i could use your help:

My free time is from 7-whenevery(mon,tue,thur,fri) 4-whenever(sat) and morning till 6(sun)

SO...?? the whole point of this is that i need help in knowing what to do in my free time to attempt to improve my life(shouldnt be too hard, i dont have one now)..., I need something that is really easy to meet new people(when im most nervous)

I guess i should start with friday night..., i need someone to tell me what to do.(i dont drink), o and im not rich either...

If you were bored enough to actually read all that and maybe even attempt to help me out THANKS MUCH!!!

O... and no laughing pls... ive put up with enough of that kind of thing...

[Broke_as_****]

What do you like doing?

[TexasF355F1]

6ft and 210 isn't fat man. You can burn that off in no time. I have a few friends that were around that, well fluctuate b/c they work out hard and lose it then go back to drinking all the time and slacking on the work out. Just hop on the tread mill and bike. Push yourself but not right away. But don't push yourself to the extreme. If you start getting dizzy stop, get water and sit down.

Don't know what to tell you about being publicly nervous, or talking to teachers. You just have to do it. I'm a pretty shy person myself, but sometimes you just have to bit the bullet and do things you don't want to.

[zx2guy]

im thinking do the few confidence builder things i know about. workout, do your hobby stuff. mine is cars, so i work on my cougar. girls... pssh they are easy just be your self. adults dont talk up to them if they talk down to you. every one here is human.

pretty much what im saying is get your self in a comfortable state of mind. leaders are those that keep thier heads when all those around them have lost thiers. basically if you are uncomfortable do something that comforts you, write, read, strike up a conversation. sitting back not dealing with your discomfort will show, others do notice it.

if girls are an iminent thing in your life where you simply must have a girlfriend, i took my gym teachers advice and attempted the dancing unit (im granted im a sr in a jr gym class) and god damnit i could barely remember whos name went to which number. im not saying you do the same but they say learning to dance... weightlifting, and learning (if you are smart people tend to turn to you if they have a problem) all builds confidence.

well thats my shot at it take it as you will. best of luck to you.

[tc3]

well the weight thing is something i will be constantly working on but its not my highest priority right now...

The question about what i like doing, well i havnt really done much public stuff so i really dont know what i would like to do. I did goto a bar with a few local bands one night and it was alright and all but i got nervous and stood like a security guard the whole night...

And my nervous problems have gotten well better then having problems with talking with teachers, but i would have problems going up to a random girl in public and attempting to start a conversation....

One thing that i can get real comfortable around is cars(like many others here im sure), and i have an 02 z28 so i can strike up a conversation with something like that, maybe a carshow or dragstrip... but i cant go places like that alone or i would just sit their doing nothing...

Thanks for the replies...

[Broke_as_****]

Well if you like working out, work out a public gym or something. If nothing else it gets you out.

You can take your Z28 to car shows like you said, and really, just force yourself to talk to people. Being nervous about talking with people you don't know, and especially chicks, is something I've always found you just have to punch through. No easy way around it, just got to do it.

My suggestion if you are looking for confidence, a place to work out and meet people is join a martial arts school. Boxing, Judo, Karate, whatever.

[imtheoneandonlyD]

Yeah, since when is 6 ft 210 fat? Im around 6 ft and 205. Im not fat by any means. Im kinda shy myself but once you get used to talking to new people its really easy to overcome.

[Andydg]

I was like that through most of high school. It changed really fast and easily for me when I got a job in retail. It forces you to talk to many different types of people, you'll find new friends, all while you're making money...hell I go to work to socialize now.

[Muscletang]

Originally Posted by imtheoneandonlyD

Im around 5 ft and 305. Im fat by many means. Im kinda shy myself

Yet he has a very nice truck, is dating a model now at the moment, and made Ron Jeremy cry at the urinal.

You don't see him crying or anything. Nope, he charges at life head on. All of us can learn a lot from this guy right here.

[Nicole8188]

Start skydiving. That's the cure for everything.

[drewh4386]

you could always join the military...........no bias intended. you need something to do..that will give you plenty.

[Mr Wiggl3s]

Sounds to me like your a pussy who dosn't like yourself
No offence or anything really
Im 6' 280, i got muscle, nobody really dosn't like me
Nobody really likes me either
You need to get out and talk to girls, one of my favorite things to do
Play games or something man, this really isn't something someone on a internet forum can help you with

[2.2 Straight six]

Originally Posted by Mr Wiggl3s

Sounds to me like your a pussy who dosn't like yourself

let's try not to make comments without supportive evidence.

just because he's nervous means nothing.

[Broke_as_****]

Originally Posted by drewh4386

you could always join the military...........no bias intended. you need something to do..that will give you plenty.

+ 3

[knorwj]

I'm 6' 185lbs, I am not built by any means. I have broad shoulders but not alot of muscle on my bones. Just cuz he's tall doesn't mean he doesn't have a little something he's ashamed about. I was pretty much 185 from 5th grade till now but for awhile in college I went down to 165 then back up to 195 or so, It feels good but sometimes when you look at yourself you still see fat or something wrong.

I know exactly what you are talking about. I have the same problem. You go to a bar and you feel like a bouncer in the corner because you just don't know what to do, you look in the mirror and feel like you just don't look like you wish you did. Its low self confidence man. You just need to stop thinking like that.

You really just need to say "fuck it I can at least try, what do I have to lose". Most girls are more concerned with talking to you and that you are nice,and confident in yourself!!! and if they are not concerned with that then screw them you can do better. There are so friggen many its not even worth it to be concerned about getting shot down. Besides maybe being shot down will give you a chance another night. Its happened to me before, who knows what will happen. Anything you can think of to strike up a convo and keep it going will work usually.

I guess all I'm trying to say is your hesitation to talk and your low self confidence is all in your head. You really just need to come to terms with it and say screw it I can do this, and know you mean it.

Man when I was younger I could have gotten so many girls I wouldn't have known what to do with them but because of my low self confidence I never realized when they were actually into me or I said to myself " they couldn't possibly like me they are beautiful and look at me" But know after years of people and girls saying otherwise and I suppose just a more mature outlook on life I have found self confidence in my looks etc. You need to do the same.

give me a ring on AIM sometime. you sound alot like me when I was younger. Maybe I could have more advice for you if you want. Its Ht intgr8 on AIM.