How to keep women happy...

[93rollaracer]

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)

In the rain (+8)

But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

It's her cat (-50)


SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)

Named Tina (-4)

Tina is a dancer (-6)

Tina has silicon implants (-80)


HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)


A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called "Death Cop" (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)


YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)


THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) ...Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT!

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)


COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned _expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

[2.2 Straight six]

i dont think i'd do well at all...

funny stuff though.

[sv650s]

good....so making her shutup at the movies doesn't make me lose any points

[balls_to_the_wall]

Originally Posted by sv650s

good....so making her shutup at the movies doesn't make me lose any points

Wow, you know how to make a woman shutup at movies???

Teach me oh master.

[Muscletang]

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

[sv650s]

Originally Posted by balls_to_the_wall

Wow, you know how to make a woman shutup at movies???

Teach me oh master.

you need two things for that young grasshopper......a penis and a whore

[quteasabutton]

haha yeah..guys need to live by those rules. guys who watch chick flicks get bonus points too. or takes me out for dinner or says something sweet and romantic. when i present the "am i fat, i feel fat, etc.." question to one guy friend, he'll smirk at me and say "fattie fattie fattie" at least he kisses me afterwards and tells me there's no way i'm fat, and that i'm beautiful.

[2.2 Straight six]

i saw the funniest thing on TV a while back.

"does this top make me look fat?"
"no, your fat ass and fat thighs make you look fat."

[BleedDodge]

What are the points good for? Can you trade them for something?

[balls_to_the_wall]

Every 50 points you can turn in for a BJ

And for every 100pts your in the hole, thats a night on the couch alone.

[beef_bourito]

Originally Posted by 2.2 Straight six

i saw the funniest thing on TV a while back.

"does this top make me look fat?"
"no, your fat ass and fat thighs make you look fat."

that's awsome

i dunno, i'd probably do ok. as long as the girl doesn't mind me being a dumbass when she asks those stupid questions like "does this make me look fat" or "which dress is better" and stuff like that.

[quteasabutton]

Originally Posted by balls_to_the_wall

Every 50 points you can turn in for a BJ

And for every 100pts your in the hole, thats a night on the couch alone.

i heard guys like it out on the couch cuz "it's sorta like camping"...so we're just going to have to find a more effective punishment for you. maybe you can start doing your own laundry, cooking and cleaning

[balls_to_the_wall]

Originally Posted by quteasabutten

i heard guys like it out on the couch cuz "it's sorta like camping"...so we're just going to have to find a more effective punishment for you. maybe you can start doing your own laundry, cooking and cleaning

Hey now, thats hittin below the belt... Don't joke about something like that

[Fully_Sick]

ignore them (+100)

be-friend the new hot girl at work (+100)

[1986Z28]

lol