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  #1  
Old 04-25-2006, 02:14 PM
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Fat Retard Theif.

A couple of months ago a my room mate and I needed to find a third renter for our house to replace a friend who was moving. A lot of people looked and left, and finally this fat slob, 26yrs of age named Robert showed up with his constantly whining dog.
So he becomes are room mate because we're running out of time. This is where our nightmare with the world's most dispicable person begins. First off this guy smells terrible - he had to have had the worst case of athletes foot known to man. Anytime he took his shoes off the entire house reeked. His dog had seperation anxiety and never stopped whining and jumping on everybody that came into the house - anytime you tried to walk in the house that retarded dog would get in front of you and sitdown right in your way. The dog also got hair over everything. We all owe our gratitude to whoever was driving the car that put that miserable animal out of it's misery - and I'm sure it was grateful that it didn't have to live with Robert anymore too.
Robert was barely human at all anyway - he cut his hair and left the clippings on the bathroom floor - he left his dishes and our pots that he had used without asking us in the sink dirty for over a month.
While my other room mate was on vacation he got drunk and threw up all over his house. Luckily his friends cleaned it up instead of me.
He was as big a hypocrit as anybody could have known - he wanted to have church meetings in our house - but also went to porn shows, and he also was into transvestites.
He failed to pay his share of the heating bills, and failed to pay his share for the internet connection. He used my friends blockbuster account to rent movies without asking for permission. He hit on the women working the counter at blockbuster...all I have to say is "yikes"
Things really went down hill when he decided to replace his old dog which had died under the wheels of some merciful automobile.
He told my friend that the dog was housetrained and would get along with his girlfriend's cat. He didn't even tell me he was getting another dog.
Well the dog turned out not to be housetrained and made a daily mess of the living room floor, as if the house didn't smell bad enough from Robert's decaying feet - now it smelled like dog feces. Thanks Rob.
Further the dog and the cat didn't get along either. One evening jsut a few weeks ago the dog and cat were fighting, my room mates girlfriend who owns the cat grabbed the cat and threw it into the basement, when teh dog tried to follow she shoved it back up the stairs with her leg - Rob saw this and started ranting and raving about how she was "drop kicking" his dog. Robert called the police. The police came and wrote a ticket, now rob and the girl have to go to court. Worse still, my room mates girlfriend is not allowed over to the house because she might "badger the witness" - needless to say my room mate was pretty pissed off that Robert got his girl kicked out of the house. So he filled out the papers to get him evicted.
Robert is gone now - he stole my friends projector when he left, and I doubt he has sent the landlord his final month's pay. He left his room full of garbage and his hair on the bathroom floor. He never took out the trash, he was an asshole, who smelled and looked like one. He's fat drives a black Geo Storm and is probably still stinking about Denver. If you see a fat guy with redish-blondish hair, who speaks like a douche, smells of feces, and has my friend's projector and is driving black Geo Storm, feel free to tell him that he's a fatass that smells like feces and speaks like douche. In fact I encourage you to tell him the truth.
Robert, if the world is lucky - if God exists - you will die from a massive athletes foot and shit overdose.
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  #2  
Old 04-25-2006, 02:34 PM
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Re: Fat Retard Theif.

Damn, that sucks. I dont think i could live with someone like that. I would get pissed and kick them in the face.
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Old 04-25-2006, 03:40 PM
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Re: Fat Retard Theif.

What a fucker. He'd have been gone from my place within a month.






(well, when I had roommates anyway)
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Old 04-25-2006, 03:53 PM
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Re: Fat Retard Theif.

The transvestite part is disturbing.
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Old 04-25-2006, 04:08 PM
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Re: Fat Retard Theif.

that sucks man. i know how you feel, well to a point. some friends and i lived with this kid that sounds a little like Rob. this kid didn't shower AT ALL. we kept dropping subtle little hints. finally we were straight up telling him he stinks and he still didn't do anything about it. he would steal our food out of the fridge. one day my friend and i walked into his room and he was eating our pudding (i know it's only pudding but it's the concept). i have no problem sharing my food or anything but just ask first. i asked him if it was mine and he said no. needless to say i went to the fridge and checked, and sure enough i was one pudding short. finally we talked to the RA and got the kid to move out. but it doesnt sound like i was in a position quite as shitty as yours. at least he is gone. next time i'm in denver i'll look his ass up.
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Old 04-25-2006, 06:36 PM
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Re: Fat Retard Theif.

Thats why I hate roommates especially ones that you don't know from squat.
I've gotten into a few fights over stufflike that happening in my places and they all thought I was being anus about the whole thing. I just like to have a nice place thats clean so I can have people come over without being humiliated
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Old 04-25-2006, 07:37 PM
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Re: Fat Retard Theif.

Yuck man. I would have goten him evicted just for his feet.
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Old 04-30-2006, 01:12 AM
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Re: Fat Retard Theif.

wow, he has got some problems
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