To: God, From: The Dog

[kris]

I received this in my email today, and thought it was actually kind of funny, as I have a 4 month old puppy.

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the “Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beeper s, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2.. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officers hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
12.. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally, my last question...

Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

[sv650s]

Originally Posted by kris

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

it isn't?

[Quickshift]

I like the last one best.

Good Post

[Knifeblade]

entertaining.

[vinnym86]

that was pretty funny.


heh... can i have my balls back... lol

[Damien]

that last one sumed it up nicely!

[imtheoneandonlyD]

lol, the last one made that.

[Oz]

[directory]

yup

[-Jacko-]

he he... testicles... lol

[crayzayjay]

Nice

[driftinggrifter2]

Originally Posted by kris

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

You know these parts sound like something alot of married men would ask god.

[tonioseven]

Golden!

[jcsaleen]

Heh...