Maturity, Insanity and Life Changes.

darkness · #1 07-08-2002, 08:52 PM

Now I wasn't really sure what to call this thread so I just kinda stuck something in that I thought might work. Anyway this is going to be stream of conciousness so it may not make sense.

As we mature, do we ever really understand the way we think, or the reason behind why we think that way.

There are many times where I actually question my sanity. I wonder why I react to things in certain ways. When something pops into my head or I see something that starts my brain going I will quite often catch myself and think "Am I sick and twisted" or "Is there something wrong inside my head". And sometimes I feel I'm tormented by things and just can't get it out of my brain. It makes me very scared about letting someone close enough to know me.

Obsessive Compulsive?? Chemical Imbalance?? any ideas?

It makes me wonder wether it's normal or do I just not have the maturity to deal with it properly. I guess I can be a pretty moody person and have feel I have different personalities. Schizofrenia?? Or can I not just make up my mind.

Though right now I feel I need to change my life somehow. It's become boring and I need to do something different, get some excitement.

carnut · #2 07-09-2002, 12:41 AM

The fact that you realize you need a change tells me you're quite normal, maybe bored, but normal.

TerminalVelocity · #3 07-09-2002, 03:35 AM

people commonly look to me for advice, I lead all my friends, alot of them say I take the most risks, but they also say i'm the most cautious. I spend nights pondering everything in life, seeing what if's getting emotions I cant descrbe. All in all in life theres only been one thing I really want *not cars eather*. This is the one thing I cant seem to really have. So I question would I accept it if I had it or reject it needing strife to exist. I get a truly deep pain from something so simple as watching a structure of legos I built be destroyed, but watching someone I know nothing of dying affects me not. Insanity appears to be the norm as a sprinkled affect. The question is how do we determine true insanity besices classical halusinations and delusions?

Oz · #4 07-09-2002, 03:56 AM

You think you're indecisive, but you're not sure? Welcome to my life.

taranaki · #5 07-09-2002, 05:43 AM

In the year of your birth,I was a desperately confused teenager struggling to make sense of my family,my country,and my life.

When I was your age, I was in a new marriage,in a new country, relishing the thought of growing older,having children and living happily ever after........

Now I am back alongside you at every pace.You have just described me perfectly.

These things come,and these things shall surely pass.If I can help you ,that in itself would help me.

Kevin.

TerminalVelocity · #6 07-09-2002, 07:13 AM

deep

moondog · #7 07-10-2002, 04:33 PM

One thing I can tell you with certainty James, is that you do not have schizophrenia, nor anything akin to it. I would say OCD is also really unlikely, just from being around you a lot.

Most of us have thoughts from time to time which are out of keeping with how we see ourselves most of the time, or...... are out of step with what society says we "should" be. That doesn't mean we're sick and twisted. I don't know what thoughts/ideas you're talking about, but are they unpleasant to you, or do they just seem wrong in terms of what society says is acceptable?

I'm always happy to listen dude; PM/phone/face-to-face, whatever.

SentraGirl · #8 10-08-2002, 11:50 AM

I'm really glad I found this post. It explains everything I'm feeling. I just graduated high school and entered into college which seems like a completely different planet. I don't know what to think or what to do and I believed I was mature in high school but now I feel like I'm a mere little child looking for her way. I am so confused about the past, present, and future that I don't know how to help myself or even keep my head above water. Any suggestions on how to get through this phase in my life?

speediva · #9 10-09-2002, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SentraGirl
I'm really glad I found this post. It explains everything I'm feeling. I just graduated high school and entered into college which seems like a completely different planet. I don't know what to think or what to do and I believed I was mature in high school but now I feel like I'm a mere little child looking for her way. I am so confused about the past, present, and future that I don't know how to help myself or even keep my head above water. Any suggestions on how to get through this phase in my life?

Welcome to college. The whole thing is a huge fascade. No one really is as together as they want you to think. Heck, most everyone is just praying that someone won't catch them for what they really are: Scared.

You'll find your place. Make some friends in class. If nothing else, atleast you'll share your love/hate of your prof or subject matter with them. Oh, and just my personal opinion: You don't need to pay to have friends (read: sororities aren't always the way to go).

Give it time. At the end of this year you'll go home and see the "mature" High Schooler and wonder how you grew so quickly. It all flies by.

SentraGirl · #10 10-09-2002, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by saturntangerine

Welcome to college. The whole thing is a huge fascade. No one really is as together as they want you to think. Heck, most everyone is just praying that someone won't catch them for what they really are: Scared.

You'll find your place. Make some friends in class. If nothing else, atleast you'll share your love/hate of your prof or subject matter with them. Oh, and just my personal opinion: You don't need to pay to have friends (read: sororities aren't always the way to go).

Give it time. At the end of this year you'll go home and see the "mature" High Schooler and wonder how you grew so quickly. It all flies by.

Wow, thank you so much. I'm not going to join a sorority, I'm not reallly into that. I just hope it all starts making more sense soon.

tazdev · #11 10-10-2002, 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by darkness
Though right now I feel I need to change my life somehow. It's become boring and I need to do something different, get some excitement.

I hear ya Darkness.

the rut I am stuck in seems to be turning into a moat

replicant_008 · #12 10-10-2002, 05:22 AM

I hear and understand what you have all said.

We all keep asking ourselves every day - is this it? What am I doing ? Is this what I spent my life to achieve ?

I can't really tell you the answer. I'm still looking myself - I doubt I will ever know the answer but I'm going to try. I do know that all of us experience self-doubt from time to time. One thing that works for me is that I try to use that doubt to evaluate what I am doing, what I know I can definitely achieve and what I know I will have difficulty achieving but could if I put the effort in.

I also know that from my travels and experience that the life I do lead is better than a lot of folk who don't have the chance to consider these things as they use every single piece of their will to just find food, water and shelter. And I take time to think about that each day.

Another thing I know is that there are things I really do want to do. When I was 21 I made a big list of all the things I definitely wanted to have done by the time I was 30. I didn't do all them - some choices were mutually exclusive - it was one or the other. But I did do a lot of them and lots of stuff I hadn't planned for that I really appreciated doing.

When I turned 30 (yeah I know I'm old) I made another list. There are lots of things on this bloody list - and it ain't going to be easy - even if I push myself I might not get them all done. I am going to try to have done all of them by the time I'm 40. Some I won't do but there will be other things and lessons I will have experienced.

I know this to be true - Life is a journey and if you don't know where you are headed any road will do. If you do have an idea of where you want to go - well then you can start working out which roads to take and what mode of transport will get you there.

Oh and do something that makes you uncomfortable every so often. Every time you do something different (within reason) you learn a little more about yourself.

Hope that helps someone out there.

tazdev · #13 10-10-2002, 05:46 AM

Cheers Rep.

Time to make a list

SentraGirl · #14 10-10-2002, 11:15 AM

That's an awesome idea replicant, Thanks I'm gonna make a list also. Did you accomplish all your goals?

boingo82 · #15 10-10-2002, 11:28 PM

I've actually had a list going for a while...

1. Solve a Rubik's Cube w/out cheating.
2. Learn to clasp hands behind back, flip over head while still clasped.
3. Score points at State comps in swimming.
4. Own a 1994-1996 Infiniti G20.

My goals so far have been silly, to say the least, but the first two I decided on before I was 10, the third while I was in swimming, and the 4th about a year and a half ago.

So far I've accomplished all of them. I'm very fulfilled.

I need to come up with some new goals now though.

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