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  #1  
Old 03-08-2006, 05:08 PM
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Unhappy My wife made me post this one...

Eve's side of the story:

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.

"So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are

breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have

just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one

pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms,

catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real

pain," reported Eve. And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts

of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc... She felt that

having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced,"

as she put it.

"That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know.

I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those,

but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"

"Just fantastic," she replied, "but for one oversight on your part. You see, all

the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the

animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could

I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man

from a part of you..

Now let's see ... where did I put that useless boob?"

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that stuff about the rib?
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Old 03-08-2006, 05:11 PM
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Re: My wife made me post this one...

ladies and gentlemen, Tonio is back...

wife made you...yea right...
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Old 03-08-2006, 05:15 PM
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Re: My wife made me post this one...



WHIPPED!
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Old 03-08-2006, 05:16 PM
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Re: My wife made me post this one...

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2.2 Straight six
ladies and gentlemen, Tonio is back...

wife made you...yea right...
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Old 03-08-2006, 05:27 PM
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Re: My wife made me post this one...

That's a shame. Leave it to a woman to try and redo the story of creation. What an excuse. My wife made me do it...............
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Old 03-08-2006, 05:32 PM
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Re: My wife made me post this one...

Prefer the original one where God takes the bone from Adam's ass.
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Old 03-09-2006, 04:53 PM
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Re: My wife made me post this one...

omg, that is so funny and true
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Old 03-09-2006, 05:13 PM
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Re: My wife made me post this one...

tonio, are you a house-bitch now?
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Old 03-09-2006, 06:06 PM
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Re: My wife made me post this one...

:-)
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Old 03-09-2006, 07:41 PM
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Re: My wife made me post this one...

you got owned

but then again...you have a wife so it cant be that bad
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Old 03-09-2006, 09:27 PM
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Re: My wife made me post this one...

lol, that was funny
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Old 03-09-2006, 09:34 PM
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Re: My wife made me post this one...

My wife made me laugh at that













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Old 03-10-2006, 12:04 PM
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Re: My wife made me post this one...

Quote:
Originally Posted by YogsVR4
My wife made me laugh at that
lol!
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