strange but true medical stuff.................

[ragt20]

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
----Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed.
"Yes, they used to be," remarked the patient.
----Dr.Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her telling the rest of the family that he had died of a....
"Massive internal fart."
----Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his MD, that he was having trouble with one of his medications.
"Which one?" I asked.
"The Nitro patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!"
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see...
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include 'removal of the old patch before applying a
new one!'
----Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?"
"It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste."
I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
----Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with
purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read,
"Keep off the grass."
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said,
"Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

[Ando_Rules]

haha lol those r good ones rag, the deaf old lady, and the one u made up r the best lollol

[Porsche]

Originally posted by ragt20

A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with
purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read,
"Keep off the grass."
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said,
"Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

OMG is that ever funny!!

[Buzzr]

[YellowMaranello]

Originally posted by Ando_Rules
haha lol those r good ones rag, the deaf old lady, and the one u made up r the best lollol

The one he made up? That last one is awesome!!

[speediva]

I needed that! Thanks Ragt!

[tazdev]

all class Ragt.

have to agree the last one is the funniest

[ragt20]

sorry to dissappoint ya but funny as they are I didn't make upo any of them