Marriage

[xviciousx]

So a girl I know was just proposed to and became engaged. I asked her how her father felt (he does not like this boy) and she said her parents didn't know.

Now when I proposed to my ex-fiance Laura, the first thing I did before I even considered asking her was to ask her father's permission. What's wrong with the world today?

What would you do?

[indyram]

I said yes, but that depends. If you are on good terms with the father and there is no doubt he will say no then I would. However if you both of you feel that you should get married, and you are not on good terms with the father then I wouldn't. If you did not only would he be mad because he doesn't like you, but you also went against his wishes.

[Muscletang]

Why should I?

What if the father says "no you can't"? Do I back down because her father told me I couldn't? Do I back down even though I know it's the girl I want to be with, her father won't be living with us, and even though it is his daughter she can make her own decesions?

I don't have a girlfriend, don't know any girls I want to marry, or plan to get married soon. When I feel the time is right though I'm going to ask the girl. Last time I checked it's her I'm wanting to marry, not her father.

[vinnym86]

Honestly, i won't place a vote cuz i'm no where near eady to pop the question, so depending on the relationship i'm in, and how things work out, i dunno, i'll have to wait and see. I'd vote the latter, just ask the girl, but i mean, haven't been in a very serious relationship where i'd need to think about it, so no clue. it's an interesting thought, though.

[sv650s]

around here you don't tell them cos if rednecks get pissed, they're fuckin crazy

[AlbanyCartel]

yes,

it is classier, and her family will like you more.

if he says no, i would just try to ask why and then try to better myself.
-i will do something to prove myself.

also, ex-fiance?
what was it? you found out she worked for the chinese government and was sent to seduce, then spy on you. but then she found you charming and actually fell in love with you, and told you the truth after her guilt overwhelmed her as the wedding day approched. then, for your wellfare, she broke up with you and went into hiding to escape the chinese government - who is hunting her for treason.

is that right?

[SLoe]

I did'nt, he didn't like me anyway. Then what do you know he got pissed because I didn't ask. Like she was his property. It doesn't matter after the first grandchild is born anyway.

[xviciousx]

Originally Posted by AlbanyCartel

ex-fiance?
what was it? you found out she worked for the chinese government and was sent to seduce, then spy on you. but then she found you charming and actually fell in love with you, and told you the truth after her guilt overwhelmed her as the wedding day approched. then, for your wellfare, she broke up with you and went into hiding to escape the chinese government - who is hunting her for treason.

is that right?

No, not really. While I was at college she got back into drugs and whatnot and found another guy.

I'd rather not talk too much about it.

[Heep]

Of course I would. His answer would not change my final course of action, but if he likes me, he'll be pleased I held him in high enough esteem to consider his opinion, and if he doesn't like me, at least I've stood up to him rather than sneak behind his back.

[-Josh-]

Originally Posted by Heep

Of course I would. His answer would not change my final course of action, but if he likes me, he'll be pleased I held him in high enough esteem to consider his opinion, and if he doesn't like me, at least I've stood up to him rather than sneak behind his back.

[WickedNYCowboy]

I voted yes ask the father first. Even if your on good terms.

[SLoe]

You better ask your girl if she minds you treating her like a possession. That's who should make the call to ask dad or not. Better to offend the future father in law than to piss your wife to be off. If she wants you to ask, then ask. It is an archaic, degrading tradition. I have been happily married for almost nine years, and I think she appreciated me not asking her father for her hand first. The father should be asked second, if at all.

[jon@af]

I do indeed plan to ask her father before I ask her. Might be askin him in the next 18 months...

Whether he says yes or not won't discourage me, because I'll ask her either way, but to know his sentiments would sit well with me. Basically I'll know whether to invite him to the wedding or not .

[TexasF355F1]

I say yes. Even if the father/mother or both weren't fond of me. If they say no, you still ask the girl anyways. But I don't see how parents could tell me no

[zx2guy]

i said no but i think id depends on some things: like how large a role her parents play in her life, do the parents like you, etc. ive moved alot, but during the time i have had 3 girlfriends. and all 3 were different. the first one i only met the parents in passing and they were more or less indiferent to me so i dunno there. the second the parents fucking hated my guts < (putting it lightly) so odds are no, there. but my last girlfriend her dad was like a second father to me, we worked on his camaro, i ran groceries with the mom, i was included in alot of things. < in that situation then yes, i would. when i hear about how my dad proposed it pissed me off real bad at my grandparents. so that also makes me a little shy towards it.