new darwin awards

[sameintheend01]

The latest incarnation of the infamous
> DARWIN AWARDS
>
>* In Detroit, a 41-yearold man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
>after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to Retrieve
>his car keys.
>
>* A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he
>ran,"
>accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
>
>* Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug
>into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones,
>21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been
>sitting
>in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed,
>burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the outer
>banks,
>used Their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a
>resident
>of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using
>heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked
>on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
>
>* Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first
>through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was
>Caused
>when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands
>free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
>
>* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a
>bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with Four
>bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
>
>HONORABLE MENTION: * Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover
>township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick
>of
>Dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple
>lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would
>happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.
>
>RUNNER UP: * TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several
>Friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped
>from
>The Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew
>more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at
>4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that
>no
>one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking,
>Volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One
>end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was
>tied to
>the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore
>his
>foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy
>river
>water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said
>Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just
>no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.
>
>AND THE WINNER: Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn,
>Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative
>and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up
>pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds
>of
>poop!
>
>Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
>ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on
>him.
>
>"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
>Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay
>unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of
>him"
>said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. With no one there
>to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before A
>watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be
>just one of those freak accidents that proves that "shit happens!"

[beef_bourito]

im not sure hat he should have won, it really wasn't his fault. the people who blew themselves up with dynamite should have gotten that one because they weren't under the influence of alcohol like the runner up, and they did something completely retarded.

There was another one where a guy was out in a boat, he didn't know how to swim, he wasn't wearing a life jacket either, and he had to take a leak, so he leaned over the edge of the boat to pee, fell in and drowned.

A guy wanted to kill himself so he tied a rope around his neck, then to a rock, drank poison, set himself on fire, then when he was falling down the cliff attempted to shoot himself. he missed, hit the rope, fell into the water below, the water put out the flames, and the intense shock cause him to vomit up the poison. he was then found by some fishermen and brought to a hospital where he died of hipothermia.

[clawhammer]

Are these actual real stories, or just fake ones?

[driftinggrifter2]

They're reall. Its amazing the things people do. You also got the stella awards where people do same kind of shit then sue and win.

>* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a
>bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with Four
>bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

I wonder if they paid him?

[Igovert500]

Originally Posted by driftinggrifter2

I wonder if they paid him?

Same thing crossed my mind

[mike1224]

Originally Posted by driftinggrifter2

I wonder if they paid him?

"Dude, we'll give you the money after you do this. It'll be soo bad-ass, you puss.", "well ok, here hold my beer. I'll prove to you guys that im not a puss."

[SLoe]

"You be careful now, mmkay?" "Mmkay..." "Drugs are bad, mmkay.


Juuuust KIDDDDING!

[directory]

haha..i bet that never crossed his mind....


get it, bullet..crossed his mind...

ok, i'll go sit in my corner again..

[driftinggrifter2]

Probably not but it's a lesson that will stick with him for the rest of his...oops forgot about that..

You may get out of your corner i think its my turn

[Muscletang]

Originally Posted by sameintheend01

>AND THE WINNER: Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn,
>Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative
>and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up
>pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds
>of
>poop!
>
>Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
>ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on
>him.
>
>"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
>Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay
>unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of
>him"
>said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. With no one there
>to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before A
>watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be
>just one of those freak accidents that proves that "shit happens!"

I heard about this one a couple of years ago. I think it was in one of their books.

[FlippiN.af]

Originally Posted by sameintheend01

The latest incarnation of the infamous
> DARWIN AWARDS
>
>* In Detroit, a 41-yearold man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
>after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to Retrieve
>his car keys.
>
>* A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he
>ran,"
>accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
>
>* Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug
>into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones,
>21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been
>sitting
>in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed,
>burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the outer
>banks,
>used Their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a
>resident
>of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using
>heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked
>on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
>
>* Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first
>through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was
>Caused
>when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands
>free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
>
>* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a
>bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with Four
>bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
>
>HONORABLE MENTION: * Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover
>township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick
>of
>Dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple
>lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would
>happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.
>
>RUNNER UP: * TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several
>Friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped
>from
>The Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew
>more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at
>4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that
>no
>one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking,
>Volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One
>end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was
>tied to
>the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore
>his
>foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy
>river
>water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said
>Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just
>no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.
>
>AND THE WINNER: Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn,
>Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative
>and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up
>pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds
>of
>poop!
>
>Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
>ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on
>him.
>
>"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
>Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay
>unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of
>him"
>said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. With no one there
>to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before A
>watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be
>just one of those freak accidents that proves that "shit happens!"

People do the stupidest sh*t. Funny how someone got buried by elephant feces & died though.

[YogsVR4]

New ones huh.....

2003 http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~gilkey/...arwin2003.html

2002 http://www.tech-sol.net/humor/true73.htm

1998 (some) http://home.tiac.net/~cri_b/darwin/darwin98.html

Shall I go on?

[sv650s]

Originally Posted by sameintheend01

>* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a
>bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with Four
>bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

cool! who's got a revolver?