Needing Help...again....

jcz1987 · #1 02-07-2006, 01:29 PM

Well guys, remember when I had pics up of the M5 and it had the girl next to it? Well heres the story, ever since I met we became close friends. i asked her to Winterball for my high school. She is a grade below me> She is a junior and Im a senior. The thing is that she and I did that made it look like we were going out. We kissed, held hands, made out et.... The things is that one night she told me that she did not want a relationship right now and said she had feelings for me but then it became mixed feelings. We still stayed friends. I picked her up everyday to school and treated her to Starbucks since school went back in Early January. The thing is now that she became upset at me.... What happend was that one of my friends hung out with her and her friends. He asked how was winterball with her and I. From what my close friend told me, she and her freinds started laughing about me and started ragging on me. Her friend said that she found my photos of her that I printed out and dry mounted for her as a gift before Winterball was weird. The sad thing is that she agreed with her friend. My close friend told me about this and to me it showed that she really doesnt care about me. The fact was that they knew I heard about it and now a rumor went out saying I called her freind a slut but I never did. She has been upset and has told me that her freidn cried about it and then yelled at me. I never called her friend a slut. People were putting out rumors that arent true what so ever. I have only had a few people like my friend who told me and three other people on my side. Her friend is talking crap about me and she has been still upset at me ever since. I have not given her a ride, hung out with her, or given her Starbucks since Friday. Its now Tuesday. I took pictures of her for my photo portrait project and I dry mounted on a whiteboard hand signed on the right bottom. I'll show you guys later but the thing is that Im not sure if I should give them to her now this week. I was hoping that these pictures would bring back my friendship between her and I. I want is her friendship back. She has been still upset and has told me she doesnt want to hang out for a while.... I have been torn up insed because of her and I have told her Im sorry and I told her I jsut wanted her to know who I am and took those pics of her because I like her and photography is my passion. I just wnat her to know who I am. I cried to her about that when she started getting upset. I wish she could jsut her the truth about me... *sigh* please help me you guys.. you are my last hope... no one in my school has helped me... Al I have had to help me is my photo teachers.... you guys are like a second family to me. I need all your outout and help... Thanks much.

Love, jcz1987 (Justin)

GTP Dad · #2 02-07-2006, 01:49 PM

Justin,

The best thing you can do is to step back and look at the entire situation. Continue to do your photography project. Don't listen to rumors and if they become too much to handle confront those who are starting the rumors with the truth. If this girl were truly your friend then she wouldn't be talking about you and would be willing to listen to what you have to say.

Unfortunately it appears that you have been slightly used by this girl. She went with you to the Winterball but now she just wants to be friends. Get real, she used you and like most of us, of the male gender, you fell right into her hands. If she really liked you she would not have made fun of you after the ball. I too have been there as have most of us. The best thing you can do is let her go and don't let the rumors get to you, they will pass.

As for the friend who told you this information, does this friend have aspirations toward this girl. Sometimes, friends who have other agenda's will start rumors just to get you upset and then drop out of the picture so that they can move in, in your place.

Relationships are very complex and a part of growing up is learning how to deal with them. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve and put on a stern face, if she likes you she will come back, if not then there are a whole lot of other fish in that ocean we call the human race.

Good Luck Man!!!

jcz1987 · #3 02-07-2006, 01:53 PM

Yeah but Im still wondering it I should still give her the pics of her that I took for a project that are drymounted on a 11x14 white board and the pic is an 8x10. there are 6 of them and I think its best jsut to give it to her...

-Jayson- · #4 02-07-2006, 02:05 PM

im gonna be honest, i dont think its the girl or girls that are causing the problems here. I think its your friend. Notice all this started when you friend went and talked to them without you? Your friend is prolll why she thinks you called her friend a slut. Your friend probabily even over hyped what she said about you. You would be suprised what a guy will say to get with a girl, even if its his best friend hes talking smack about.

You should sit down with this girl and have a straight talk about it. Ask her if what he said was true that she was ragging on you. Then ask her if your friend is the one whos telling her all these horrible things about her friend.

Im gonna say im about 90% sure its your best friend whos causing all the trouble for you. Ive had that happen to me before. And a true true friend is very hard to come by.

This is also a great example of why dating in high school is a dumb idea. Way to much of a social contract and to many friends getting involved with your relationship. Its amazing, once you get out of high school its so much easier to date.

jcz1987 · #5 02-07-2006, 02:10 PM

I all ready did that too. They are still upset and wont get over it...

GTP Dad · #6 02-07-2006, 07:45 PM

I would go ahead and give her the pictures. They are of her and if she appreciates what you have done for her she may see that you are sincere in how you feel about her and won't believe the rumors. If not at least you will not have to look at them everyday. Good Luck and let us know what happens after you give them to her.

jcz1987 · #7 02-07-2006, 11:09 PM

Yeah I know that she is probably still upset since I havent talked to her since Sunday Night, should I give her the pictures tomorrow to her... Wednesday and say to her that this is for you... its the love of my photography with the enjoyment being with you is what makes these pictures the way they are....

Rally Sport · #8 02-08-2006, 12:22 AM

Damn Justin that sucks.. just tell us how it goes when you give her the pics, her reaction to it would tell you alot.

sameintheend01 · #9 02-08-2006, 02:40 AM

dude, fuck it. she's JUST a girl. there are a million more nutty girls out there. seriously. girls are nuts, don't try to figure them out. it's not worth your time or effort. just start finding another chick.

DetroitMuscle · #10 02-08-2006, 04:15 AM

women are a dime a dozen, you are in high school or just out or wtfever but i didnt find a decent girl till I was 23, and I love women.

Take your time, dont worry about it, if they want to act like children let em, be the mature one about it, its obvious your friend isn't.

GTP Dad · #11 02-08-2006, 08:42 AM

Just give her the pictures whenever you have the time and don't say anything other than this is for you. See how it goes from there. If she doesn't say anything just turn around a leave. That will let her know you are in control and she holds nothing over you. If she starts a conversation then go with it but don't let her get the upper hand! Stay in control.

-Josh- · #12 02-08-2006, 08:53 AM

I'm going with detroitmuscle on this one.

Oh and Justin, IMO, you're problem is you date girls your age or younger, i think you'll find that if you upgrade to older women you'll have a much better experience, they'll still be confusing and make you go wtf a lot but they wont do what all these younger girls do to you. You're to mature for young girls.

jcz1987 · #13 02-08-2006, 09:48 AM

I gave her the pics today... I did it before my 6:30 AM class since she has one too but different room. I gave it to her saying "these are for you" I wrote on the envelope that the pics were in writing "These were made for the the Love I have for Photography and the enjoyment I have being with you" with my named signed on the bottom. She gave me a hug that was unexpected... she opened it and said that they were very nice. I left after she said that and went to my class. Im in my class right now as I speak.... At least she has something to think about today about me.... Well lets hope for a positive outcome now....

sameintheend01 · #14 02-08-2006, 01:12 PM

you just shot yourself in the face. she owns you now. it's okay, you'll learn.

vinnym86 · #15 02-08-2006, 02:07 PM

wow justin, i'm sorry to hear that. What GTP said, though, sounds like the best advise. She played you, man. Some women are just evil like that. Don't think you're alon, either. This thread is high school all over for me again, lol. I think what you should do is to take a look at the situation under a different light, don't put your own feelings into the thought process. break down what happened, why you think it happened, and make your own conclusion rationally. Usually, if you let your feelings in the way, it'll just end up going from bad to worse.

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