Telemarketers

[96Civ]

So this morning I get woken up bright and early by our friendly Telemarketers at 6am. I was a little upset, but I just hung up after the guy obviously didn't speak english very well. I tried to go back to sleep.... 5 minutes later the same guy called back still asking for "Salem" or some shit. Who the fuck do they think they are? I told him to stop calling my mother fucking house you peice of shit! I need to get decent sleep so I can start MY job, which luckily starts at 9am. I didn't request a fucking wakeup call from India motherfuckers... take the phone and shove it up your asses and get a real job so you can stop invading my fucking privacy. For years I have been moderately considerate and understanding, but now I am totally DONE with that, we know where being nice gets us. I will personally mind fuck every telemarketer that calls me, from ANYONES house from this day forward! Fuckin pricks!!!!

[Andydg]

I hate those fuckers too!!!

[sganc4life_4]

I think its funny to talk dirty to them and listen to their reaction.

[Gohan Ryu]

Register your number with the FTC and it will be illegal for them to call you.

www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx

[2.2 Straight six]

i get them occasionally. the trick is to tell them you or an immediate relative works in telemarketing. they hang up instantly here.

"hello, can you spare a minute of your time for telemarketing?"

"oooh...my dad works in telemarketing!"

"..." - (hung up)

[flatlander757]

I think it's fun to say something like "DAMNIT!!! If you don't stop calling me I will have sex with everyone in your family and make you watch! Then burn your retinas so that image is inscribed into your mind forever!!!" followed by a "URGGHHH!!!!"

Then "Have a nice day "

Depending on who is calling, I think it's fun to just lie to them also, ie:

A while back some rug cleaning company called about some deal, clean two room's carpets for the price of one, etc etc. Well I asked them if it cleans up REALLY big blood stains so that you cannot tell anything was there. Ever.

They were like, ummm... welll... then hung up.

Also when an insurance company calls, like car insurance or something, just lie about your current rates. Someone called and said basically I could be paying $150/month for insurance. I told them my insurance company now charges me $20/month. She didn't know what to say

[vinnym86]

hey now, don't be dissing indian people with accents...
...ok i do it all the time too, lol

yup, just get on the do-not-call list.

[kcg795]

I had one call me last night while I was drunk.

"Hello? May I please speak to Mr. So-and-so?"

"You're speaking to _A_ Mr. So-and-so? What can I do for you?"

"This is not a sales call. We're sending out a package free of charge. We just need some information from you."

"Sweet! So, what's in the package? Surround sound system? High Definition TV? WHAT?!?!"

"It's just a sample of our product. *says a bunch of other stuff I can't understand* Could we maybe contact you through email? What's your email address?"

"Oh shit.... My email address. Hmm. Damnit, I forgot!!! Give me a minute to remember it."

"Well, we could call back in about 15 minutes."

"Yeah, but I'm gonna be taking a shit by then. I really gotta go."

"Ok."

"Oh, I think I remember my email now. It's....*looks at surround sound system*...Philips@......*thinks of an ISP*....aol.com."

"Ok, thank you for blah blah blah. And blah blah blah blah blah. Goodbye."



They called the night before that and my brother answered the phone and it was a guy from India. My brother also said that he was talking to _A_ Mr. So-and-so. The guy started getting a little cocky and started speaking a bunch of Indian. So my brother said "Please let me speak to someone who speaks English and didn't come to this country on a floating door." The guy hung up.

[GTP Dad]

Try the national do not call list. This will get them off your back. I hate telemarketers too and since I signed up (as soon as it was available) I haven't gotten any calls except from those companies that I have done business with. I even have my cell phone registered.

[96Civ]

Registered with the "no-call" list. I have been tired all day and I'm STILL irritated. Thank you for the link!

[KatWoman097]

If I see an 800# pop up on my screen sometimes I just pick up the phone, make some banging noises and scream like someone's beating the shit out of me. They hang up pretty quick

[HighOctaneNOSUser]

I act like a retard.

"Hi is SuchNSuch there?"
"Ayyy...ughh.... yeth"
"Ok, are you interested in...product?"
"Ughhh, STHURE!"
"Okay, well please state your address"
"My ughh...addreth...*switch to satanic voice I'm oh so good at* I WILL SUCK YOUR VERY SOUL THROUGH YOUR RECTUM AND DRINK IT WITH YOUR BLOOD"
"Sir are you feeling alright"
"Ughh.... fine what you mean?"
"You changed on me"
"Nuh uh you lie! BYE BYE"
"sir?"
-Click-

[Ultimate X]

or you could put on a porno on your computer and put the phone next to your speaker

[skibum1111]

This works, especially if you are female.. Just tell them you are inappropriately touching yourself so its not a good time to talk.

Another thing that works is start asking them questions and keep hammering them with them. They get sick of it and hang up on you. If the number showed up on your caller id, call back and complain that they didn't answer all your questions so now you are going to buy their product somewhere else, don't call me again.

The local paper called me a bunch of times trying to get me to subscribe. I already do, they didn't get the hint. My wife speaks spanish, the next time they called she messed with the guy for about 10 minutes, hung up, I called the paper and ended my subscription.

[TexasF355F1]

Pull a Seinfeld.