Most effed up way to die.

[jibbijib]

I thought I'd start this thread to see other peoples randitions of stupid ways to die. Just make it was wacky as possible, and the longer, more involving they are in the bulk of the story makes it great. Par exapmle:
Imagine(this always gets it goin good) you're walking down the street in a large town, and no-one knows who you are. You go to cross the street, and narrowly get hit by a car, and the driver gives you the finger. You smack the hood of his car and curse and yell at him, and he steps on the gas. His car becomes a launching pad and you topple down the back of the car, flopping onto the ground. People from across the street see this and run over to your aid. They help you to your feet, and you fall because you are woosy. You smack your head on the ground, but only slightly so it incapacitates you. The group of helpers call an ambulance and they arrive in minutes. Just as they are hoisting you into the back of the truck, a car comes blazing in and smashes right into you, and crushes the paramedics in the process. You hurtle toward the front of the truck, unlatched from the bed, and slam into the back of the cab. The guy gets out of the car, enraged, and funny enough it's the same guy who put you in this position in the first place. He's got a hammer and jumps into the ambulance, and starts hammerin away at you. Then, out of nowhere, a jumbo jet drops out of the sky and crashes into the ambulance, killing you, the pissed off guy, and all the bystanders instantly.

[-Jayson-]

chuck norris gives you a wicked round house kick the head and kills you

[jibbijib]

good one

[CivicSlayr]

Death by squirell would suck.

[stoned_pimp420]

being eaten to death like on dawn of the dead or burning to death or being bitten in the balls by a rattlesnake would suck too.

Or you could be driving down the road one day and the front tire off of a passing dumptruck could just so happen to fall off right as it is next to you and the big ass tire could come through your windshield and crush every bone in your face and then you live long enough to have the dumptruck full of sand flip over on top of your car and crush your legs in the process, and then you burn to death in the wreckage while being eaten on by the flesh eating zombie that was driving the dumptruck.......Now that's a twisted way to die!

[jibbijib]

Great!!

[RiCR-wana-b]

for the past several months you've been having these pounding head aches. itchy eyes and crotch and a serious case of gingivitis(spelling). as time goes on you decide to go to the doctor to see what could be wrong. with the results in your hand you trot out the door. only to find out the doctor failed to mention that you had only one monthto live. with this knowledge you decide to withdraw your life savings and spend the next week doing everything you've always wanted to do. skydiving, horse back riding. scuba diving, so on and so forth. the last adventure you partake in is a hike through a forest in japan to learn the way of the samurai. once this has been completed you travel home to live out the rest of your days in peace. only to reciece a message from the doctor that he miss diagnosed you. and all you have was a bad case of gonasyphelaherpes and it can be cured with a over the counter medecine much like monostat. so after spending your lifes fortune you become homeless and wonder the streets begging for money. the government who has heard of your mishap offers you the opportunity of joining the army fighting for your country. you take the offer and join the army. only to lose both of your legs to a mine placed in a dead animal. returning home to nothing you then meet a beautiful young woman who happens to be rich. after the marraige her father hires a hit man who kills your wife and blames it on you. now with a life sentance in prison you get sadomized each and everynight for hours at a time. years later with no legs and an extremely loose rectum they finally find out who killed your wife and you are set free. twenty years after that doctor false diagnosed you, you track him down and castrate him. because of the pain and anguish he caused your life. rolling down the street in your wheel chair because of the legless body you posess a bird drops a number two right in front of your chair and you hit it and slide into the street, and hit a car. who's car might you ask? none other than chuck norris who despises people in wheel chairs(after the incident with steven hawking) he round house kicks you so hard your head spins around seventy five times, so many times infact that you dont die. you only become paralyzed. now laying in the comfort of a hospital a terrorist attack breaks out and in the chaos the green berets launching an RPG into your room incinerating your body and ending your life....

wow that took a little longer than i thought it would. it jst wouldn't stop though

[CivicSlayr]

pretty effed up

[jibbijib]

lol super effed up, plus it has a moral value to it if you think of it, and if he ended it differently.

[jon@af]

You get kidnapped and tortured. You die by having your limbs cut off, one at a time. After each limb, they cauterize the wound so you live in pain and make you watch as they throw your limbs into a wood chipper. Then, after they have removed your arms and legs, if you're still alive, they throw you in.

[KustmAce]

Originally Posted by jibbijib

narrowly get hit by a car

How do you narrowly get hit by a car?

As for a twisted way to die...Anyone ever see House of Wax?

[-Jacko-]

Falling 10,000 Feet! Yeaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!

[Muscletang]

Worst death ever...

An elephant trainer was trying to get one of his constipated elephants to "go." After giving the elephant a whole lot of ex-lax products he went behind the elephant to see if it was working. It did, the force of elephant shit knocked the guy to the ground and the weight of it pinned him down to where he couldn't get up. The shit kept raining down on him and he died.

[jibbijib]

Beautiful, standing ovation. As for KustmAce, quit posting in all my threads and ruining them. Plus, if your going to post worst death, then make it up. Don't nitpick, its the death that counts, not how you word it.

[jon@af]

Originally Posted by jibbijib

Beautiful, standing ovation. As for KustmAce, quit posting in all my threads and ruining them. Plus, if your going to post worst death, then make it up. Don't nitpick, its the death that counts, not how you word it.

I don't think he was meaning to insult. What he put in question is how narrowly being hit by a car actually counts. I think he sees it as I do: either you get hit by a car or you don't. Know what I mean?