santas story......

#1 12-06-2005, 01:18 PM

So you thought you had a bad year,Here is a page from Santa's 2004 Diary. All night long , soot in the chimneys, smelly socks, barking dogs, and at one house --was mistaken for the stork and shot at. Drove all night in the snow, damn near had a mid-air with a 747.Prancer and Dancer got the runs over North Jersey and my red suit was a mess.Had one heck of a time trying to get deer crap stains out of red velvet suit.Note : for next year, change from red to brown suit .Lost footing on one slippery roof and came down the chimney like a bat out of heck.One of my elves was decorating a tree while drinking egg nog........ feel and broke balls.Elves would not clean sleigh until I promised to pay them double time.Those little Astards!! In Atlantic City........Walked into lobby saying Ho Ho Ho while dropping off presents.Three really friendly chicks approached me and I spent the rest of the night trying to make up for lost time.Really sick and tired of milk and cookies.The only high ball that I had all night was when I slipped getting out of the sleigh! Prostate giving me heck again.....issed myself at 25,000 feet and froze to the seat! Never realized it before but I get an allergic reaction to pine needles.My a$$ is still itching! At the last stop a few kids were still up........they began to laugh and call Rudolph names.He kicked their little red neck A$$e$! To top it all off,Miss Clause told me that her mother is coming to visit.