Having a bit of a personal crisis...

elementskater15 · #1 11-22-2005, 11:26 PM

Its late...I've had a little time to think about things. My life is one of those things. I just realized that the real world is going ti kick my ass. I dont really know how to explain what I'm feeling right now. Like, I woke up today and realized I'm not good at...anything. I fear that I'm going to be one of those losers that lives with his mom for the rest of his life because he dies before his mom does. I'm not smart in any way. Sure, I scored the second highest grade in the school on FCAT. Wow, I can write good. Other than that, my inteligence is mediocre at best. I'm on the edge of failing Algebra and don't even care. I knew from day one I wasn't going to college, but damn, I'm not cut out for work that doesn't involve a degree of some kind. It just seems that everything I try to devote myself to is either out of reach or I just give up...or I try my ass off and get nowhere. Even simple things that are purley for enertainment. Take skateboarding for example. As soon as I got halfway decent I screwed my knee up. Take cars. As soon as I learned a little bit about what I was doing I lost my job and can't fund the one thing I really love doing. I could go on and on about how it's society's fault, but its not. It's mine. I'm just lazy as hell and don't give a shit. Every day I walk around the halls, the street, my home with a void in me. I feel like I could do something but I don't even care enough to make myself happy so I lay in bed and blast my headphones until I go to sleep. I could sugar coat it from here on out and make it seem like I'm a badass and am just going to bite the bullet and do better, but I just don't think its in me to suceed. I look around and all I see is pain in me and pain in everyone else around me. It seems like life is meaningless and I am heading nowhere in a damn hurry. I'm going to be real and tell everyone I just break down and cry on a daily basis just because I think I'm worthless. Hell, I'm crying right now because I've brought it up to myself. I could go on for God knows how long but am going to cut myself off here. Thanks...

Oz · #2 11-22-2005, 11:31 PM

Sounds like you're being honest, if a touch harsh on yourself.

How many occupations have you tried? I bet there's one out there that suits you down to a T.

elementskater15 · #3 11-22-2005, 11:41 PM

In the past few minutes, I've chilled out a little, although still crying. Im 16 and already know im not a painter, industrial plumber, roofer, golf cart attendant, carpenter, or a plant worker (I had my first job at an alum plant when I was 13). I just don't really know what the hell is wrong with me. I may need a shrink or something, I just dont know.

Officer Redneck · #4 11-23-2005, 12:17 AM

I'm not trying to poke fun or anything but the shrink thing my be a good idea. I've worked at a mental facility for over 6 years and it sounds like you might be in depression. The way you described yourself in your first post sounds like a hundred stories i've heard from people over the years. All I can say is with help it will get better and you may just find something to fill that void when you least expect it. Good luck!

lamehonda · #5 11-23-2005, 12:36 AM

You sound just like me at this very moment. I just turned 22 a few months ago. I graduated from college with a degree in Finance and a very good GPA. I have been looking for a job for the last six months and there is no end in sight. I have been rejected so many times and haven't had anyone say anything nice to me since I finished school.

This really sucks because they really make you feel great about your future in college and then you get dropkicked into the workforce. People are very cruel and have been trained to be extremely critical of everyone they meet.

I really want to buy a new car and modify the crap out of it. That was one of the main reasons I went to college.

Toksin · #6 11-23-2005, 12:42 AM

Forget the pshrink.

You're 16, it's part of puberty, part of growing up, being depressed. It'll pass, and you'll find something you're good at. Instead of wallowing in self misery about your school work, find out what is giving you the most trouble and set about trying to fix it, instead of straight up saying you can't do it.

Remember, you're not a loser. You beat two hundred million other sperm to the egg.

lamehonda · #7 11-23-2005, 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toksin

Remember, you're not a loser. You beat two hundred million other sperm to the egg.

I often think about how pathetic the little guys that I beat must have been.

ac427cpe · #8 11-23-2005, 02:45 AM

i've got to say, Dave is right... just find something that REQUIRES you put time in. whether it is music, a martial art, model cars.... something that you can set a schedule, then make that a major point to get done.

why don't you make it a point to go to college? you still have time, and it's true. you can work now and play later, or play now and work forever.

fredjacksonsan · #9 11-23-2005, 08:45 AM

You're 16....and sound perfectly normal to me. Not many 16 year olds know what they're going to do with their life. I know 2 people that had things planned out their junior year in high school. 2. The rest of us kept plugging away until we found something.

The laziness and all? Again, normal. You just haven't found the thing that you want to do. Like Oz said, there is something out there you will love and be good at. You've got 2 years or so of high school. Just get through the last couple years and keep an open mind about what you plan to do.

As far as not being smart enough for college: Bullshit. I've known unintelligent idiots that graduated in one of many fields. You don't have to be a brain to be successful in college, or even life for that matter. Just have to decide to work for what you want.

Hang in there, you'll be fine. Try different things, get involved in some sort of activity. Sitting around the house isn't going to help; get out and do something....

elementskater15 · #10 11-23-2005, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fredjacksonsan

You're 16....and sound perfectly normal to me. Not many 16 year olds know what they're going to do with their life. I know 2 people that had things planned out their junior year in high school. 2. The rest of us kept plugging away until we found something.

The laziness and all? Again, normal. You just haven't found the thing that you want to do. Like Oz said, there is something out there you will love and be good at. You've got 2 years or so of high school. Just get through the last couple years and keep an open mind about what you plan to do.

As far as not being smart enough for college: Bullshit. I've known unintelligent idiots that graduated in one of many fields. You don't have to be a brain to be successful in college, or even life for that matter. Just have to decide to work for what you want.

Hang in there, you'll be fine. Try different things, get involved in some sort of activity. Sitting around the house isn't going to help; get out and do something....

For some reason, what you said here really sunk in. Thanks everyone. I just need to get off my ass and find something. When I get back from my little thanksgiving vacation I'll down a few painkillers and start skating again. I've looked for work around here but the tourist season is out so no one's hiring. Idk, I guess this is just one of those depression slumps I always hear about on Maury....

ac427cpe · #11 11-23-2005, 04:05 PM

uh, from experiance w/ sports injuries... if you are still not close to 100%, don't push it. It won't be worth it in the long run.

jabby_jabby · #12 11-23-2005, 04:25 PM

I remember being 16, 5 years ago. I went through the EXACT SAME shit you are going through right now. I remember drinking a glass of water, dribbled some water on my shirt and just broke down crying because i was a loser and i felt i couldnt do anything half decent.

i went through a bout of depressing in my early teens, i cried all the time, couldnt do anything, gained a shitload of weight. my mom got me a cat and the rest is history.

i always knew i wanted to be a vet, the puberty hit and i thought i was too stupid to be a vet. i ended up doing a year of something i hated with every ounce of my being and i transferred to another university to pursue my original dream of being a vet, stupid or not

hang in there. youve reached a low, so itll only get better from here

fredjacksonsan · #13 11-23-2005, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elementskater15

For some reason, what you said here really sunk in. Thanks everyone. I just need to get off my ass and find something. When I get back from my little thanksgiving vacation I'll down a few painkillers and start skating again. I've looked for work around here but the tourist season is out so no one's hiring. Idk, I guess this is just one of those depression slumps I always hear about on Maury....

Welcome dude. Hang in there and see the tough times through....

elementskater15 · #14 11-24-2005, 09:46 PM

Thanks, everyone. I'm back from my little Thanksgiving vacation and it was just the little boost I needed. I had the most fun I've ever had just now doing 120 for about 50 miles straight...don't worry, not any more. I'm going to use some Christmas money and pick up an electric guitar (Fender Squire?) and take up drawing. I just need somewhere to channel all my emotions constructivley. Well, I gotta go...I'm doing air guitar to Tuesday's Gone.....

drunken monkey · #15 11-25-2005, 08:24 AM

would it make a difference if i point out that the majority of the people out there working are doing things that
i) have nothing to do what they studied
ii) have nothing to do with what they enjoy
iii) have nothing to do with what they're good at
?

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