Truth about car ads

[Spunkymonkey]

The Truth About Car Ads


If The Ad Reads . . . It Really Means
Rough condition: Too bad to lie about
Parts car: Beyond repair
Clean: Homeless dude did the windows
Immaculate: Recently washed
Concours: Recently waxed
Good transportation: It's ugly
Engine quiet: Uses 90-weight oil
Needs minor overhaul: Needs engine
Needs major overhaul: Phone the junkyard
Burns no oil: It all leaks out
Rebuilt engine: Cleaned the spark plugs
Engine blueprinted: I don't know what it means either
Excellent gas mileage: It's slow
Low miles: The odometer was turned back
One owner: Can't give it away
Sure to appreciate: That's why I'm selling it
Drive it away: I live on a hill
Drive it anywhere: Within 10 miles
Desirable classic: No one wants it
Rare classic: No one wanted it even when it was new.
Stored 20 years: In a lake
Ran when stored: Won't start
Never apart: Bolts too rounded to loosen
Solid as a rock: Rusted solid
. . .or best offer: I'm guessing here
Restored, with 0 miles: Won't start
Faster than a 'vette: A Chevette
Restored, with 2 miles: Won't stay running
Older restoration: First owner washed it
Good investment: Can't be worth much less
No time to restore it: Can't obtain parts
90% complete: You do the other 90%
95% complete: Other 5% doesn't exist
One owner: Hertz
Great enthusiasts car: I'm looking for a sucker
Good tires: And that's all
House forces sale: Neighbours complaining
Trades considered: I'm desperate
Other interests conflict: Spouse's ultimatum: "Either that #!!@&## thing goes or I go!"

I've gotta agree with most of that

some people do put ads like this in

[taranaki]

useful if I ever sell either of our cars!

[Oz]

True enough...