This Is A Hard Question To Deal With...

[solaris=amazing]

Let's say you are in a relationship for years, say over 6. Let's even say you're married, have 2 kids, and you're 40 something...with a loving wife, nice marriage...etc..etc..

NOW, you come in contact with a women of your age or younger in which you have an IMMEDIATE attraction too.. I'm not talking about a great pair of legs, a beautiful face, a heavenly smile....I'M talking about a feeling in you that says I WANT TO BE WITH HER FOREVER. A strong crush, almost like you feel you've waited all your life for her.....it's a love at first sight kinda deal.

What would you do....? Would you put to shame your family and go after this person, divorce, etc. I'm not talking about a 7 minutes dry hump in the back of your seat behind Mcdonalds....This women just intrigues you the way your lover used to....although the flame has sort of run out in your relationship...it's just everyday stuff, boring marriage etc...

In case you're wondering what made me ask this, well....American Beauty.. I just got finished watching that movie for like the 10th time. Before typing this i was reading about people with strong crushes although they where happily married.

My simple belief is that there is always a "love at first sight" so to speak. EVEN if you got together with one of the "first sight" kind of people, sometimes there will be another that throws a munky wrench in your sh*t.

Basically it all comes down to what you want, selfish yeah...but in this life your soul and being is simply that, YOUR OWN.

[sganc4life_4]

I would say try to spice things up in the marriage to back how they were before. But always remember that the time youve spent and memories created will have a bigger impact then someone coming into your life that your attracted to.

[Damien]

Aye, to late to answer this. I'm not dedicated enough for the philisophical answer that'll do this question justice, But for now, i'd have my fantasy...if that. I love my wife for a reason and I forgot to sign a prenup so I'd be good!

[PBking82]

I guess that people don't understand that when you have kids your whole life changes. Instead of trying to hookup with a "new soulmate" 9 out of 10 times they're just trying to re-live their carefree lives of where what they do in their life won't effect their children. Thats the way I see it. Boring marriage? Well what if "the fantasy" doesn't work out? Then what are you gonna do? Go back to your ex-wife who you left for another woman? Eh, I see it as something that every guy prolly fantasizes about but when it comes down to the harsh reality, many realize it isn't worth it. Peace-

[ci5ic]

just remember... the grass is always greener on the other side, regardless of which side you're on. I would say that unless there are real problems in your current relationship, you should'nt even considder it, and even then, you should try and fix those problems if you can. Don't leave for the wrong reasons.

[imtheoneandonlyD]

It would be very selfish to crush your wife and kids happiness for your own.

[Heep]

Watch Before Sunset (great movie anyways).

Well, watch Before Sunrise first. Then Before Sunset will make one hell of a lot more sense.

[Porsche]

While I don't have a comment on this yet, I love the related links that popped up on here.

[-Jayson-]

divorces are expensive, add kids, a house, a mortgage, a wife that was a house wife, the fact that you might have cheated. Not worth it. It would prolly inspire me to try and kick start the flame in the old relationship though.

Im not a cheater, no matter what.

[indyram]

If you are happy with were you are at then no worries, like has likely happened in the past this too would pass. I can relate to where this is coming from, unfortunately my marriage isn't in the best of shape. Kids definately have a large impact on the whole situation. Unfortunately for too many people it becomes just about the kids. I come from divorced parents and it sucks. However, if the parents were to stay together only in light of the kids and the marriage/relationship wasn't worth a damn, then I think it will end up hurting the kids in the long hall. I have been torn in both directions as my marriage has been on the rocks for a while and I haven't even been married for long. Plus there is another woman who I am very much attracted to, even though she is just a really good friend. I got a little off topic, but even if it were to work out with the mystery woman it shouldn't be about leaving due to her, but rather because the marriage is that catastrophic if you will. Hopefully that made sense.

[jon@af]

Marriage is a promise to another person that you will, be there for him or her always. To break that promise based on a whim would be a terrible mistake. If someone falls out of love that easily, I would question whether they were truly in love to begin with.

[-Josh-]

If one bit of temptation can draw you away from the sanctity of marriage you were probably never really in love...

[Xenostalgia]

[2.2 Straight six]

[EVIL=2.2 Straight six]i'd kill her any bury the body, you know; remove the temptation[/EVIL]

to be honest i'd leave it, i'd never choose superficial attraction over family.

[Partizan]

I'd convince the wife for a three way, or buy my wife a polygamy pamphlet.