Noahs ark

Anyone who knows of popular Western religons knows the tale of Noah's Ark, the giant wooden vessel formed yea-many cubits high and long that bore the race of man and each pair of species to better times during the Fated Flood. Well, the true purpose of the Ark has been revealed and it has much to do with the Canaanite 'fertilty god' Baal, whose rituals include human sacrifice and temple prostitution.



Before the time of the flood, the god Baal declared himself free from the authority of

death. Slain by death itself, the spirit of Baal, the god of fertility and rebirth, would

result in the essence of his liquid being collecting outside the earth's atmosphere, in a

thin sheet of highly condensed watervapor that pooled over time.



When the rebirth was immenent, the inevitable happened: the spirit in the form of the water was born into the atmosphere of the world and altered all life as we know it, except for the few members of each species that survived, in the only place in the world where dry land still stood, Mt. Ararat.



And what was the nature of this change that the spirit of Baal implanted into the genetic core of life when the rain of his afterbirth poured down on the world? The 'fertility god' made all life contain two highly advanced and sensitive sexual systems, prompting asexual and instantanious reproduction. The people and animals who had withstood the rain of Baal's Rebirth at Mt. Ararat received a message from who they believe to the the monotheiestic deity of their religion telling them to build a vessel in preparation for another, greater flood.



It is at this point that the monothiestic deity wipes out the Baal-Infested Organisms,

thusly ending the horrifying fertility mutation that seemed likely to wipe out all life

from the planet! But the lifespans of people have never been as long, for so much was the stock of humanity weakened by being reduced to this one http://ghostpopulace.atomspies.com/ararat.htm.

I got this in an email tha other day and I was wandering your thaughts on this.

[ct91rs]

Sure, that sounds right on, and the earth is at the center of the universe.

[AlmostStock]

The Biblical account of Noah's ark never sounded as plausible as it does now.

[Oz]

next few lines of the email:

v1agra & c1al15 hAlF pr1c3! G3t y0ur d15c0un+ m3d5 0nl1n3 n0w! $15.99-

[Xenostalgia]

Rofl!!!! Owned!!!!

[GForce957]

Its just different cultures explaining the flood. Anyone ever read Gilgamesh? Its older than Noah and talks about the flood

[Gohan Ryu]

...and where the hell was FEMA during all this flooding?

[Muscletang]

Originally Posted by Gohan Ryu

...and where the hell was FEMA during all this flooding?

[ghetto7o2azn]

dont be dicks guys just because someone doesnt believe in the same thing you guys do... there are some things in the bible that im sure many other people of different religions would find rediculous and a joke... one of them imo IS the story of noah's ark...

[GForce957]

Originally Posted by ghetto7o2azn

dont be dicks guys just because someone doesnt believe in the same thing you guys do... there are some things in the bible that im sure many other people of different religions would find rediculous and a joke... one of them imo IS the story of noah's ark...

Actually thats not true

Many religions have a story about a great flood, thats what my earlier post was about. Gilgamesh predates the bible's account.

[AlmostStock]

Originally Posted by GForce957

Many religions have a story about a great flood, thats what my earlier post was about. Gilgamesh predates the bible's account.

Yep, it's just different people putting their spin on the same story. Who was the first to write about a big flood? Beats me but it seems like there must have been a big flood somewhere a long time ago for these stories to be so prevalent. In similar fashion early Christians took Pagan holidays and turned them into their own.

lol, look guys, I am not sayin I believe this, just that I thaught it was interesting, you know a different opnion on this subject... Go ahead and laugh, I am gonna crawl in my little hole and cry myself to sleep....

[Xenostalgia]

To all of those: There was a 'Great Flood' in the Great Planes (Mid-US) there was a huge flood from Canada-region that went down to Mexico. It was a long, long time ago. But thats why there are 'rolling hills' because of the water forming them. Just a lil FYI. I'm not saying there is or isn't a Noah's Ark. I'm saying there was atleast one huge flood if not more. IT is something that happens in nature.

[GForce957]

^ Yea there are native american stories about that too

[Gohan Ryu]

Originally Posted by ghetto7o2azn

dont be dicks guys just because someone doesnt believe in the same thing you guys do... there are some things in the bible that im sure many other people of different religions would find rediculous and a joke... one of them imo IS the story of noah's ark...

Chill out dude it was just a joke. Who the fuck said what I do or don't believe in? I read the King James bible...the one with Noah and that whole chapter about how tall and wide the ark should be and how many feet of lumber he should use and how many windows it should have. I'm not saying it didn't happen that way, I just think God is a little long winded and wordy with them damn instructions. He can tell Noah how to build an ark down to the last nail but he can't tell me next weeks lotto numbers?

Just kidding again. I'm an athiest, swear to God.