What's The Funniest Thing A Co-Worker Said..In Front Of A Customer..?

[solaris=amazing]

Anyone that has worked in a retail store, or basically ANY place has had a co worker say some funny sh*t RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CUSTOMER..

I got 2 good ones.....3 years back i worked at a store in a mall, i was processing a return for this attractive women....i'm about 3ft from her.... My buddy (co worker) comes out from the back, and says to me "Yo i'll be back here for a while, i gotta take a dump"....lol..i cracked the f*ck up, the women HAD TO HEAR THIS, she showed NO reaction...

5 months ago i was working at autozone, i was an asst manager... I ring up this cute chick (a rarity in auto parts stores) for her wipers and floor mats... I give her her change, and one of my employees (friend) says to me...RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.... "you're gonna put those wipers on for her, right CHUBBY"...

I was like f*ck you..she was laughing......

[craigcully]

I don't know if this counts, but there was a guy I worked with at a grocery store that would fart with customers all around him... the squishy, wet farts. I'd always have a hard time containing my laughter.

[KustmAce]

When I worked in a gragae we were detailing this ladies interior. Well I was standing around doing nothin...err...supervising my buddy who was vacuuming her car. What he didnt know was that she had arrived back to pick her car up early and was standing in the bay entrance. He pops his head out of the car holding the vacuum hose and looks to another guy workin in the next bay and yells, "Dude I just found like 3 bucks in quarters in here", as he pockets all this change right in front of her.

Damn that was funny cuz she played it soooo cool. She just like gave him a wierd look when he turned around and saw her there. Then she says "keep it, youll need it when your boss finds out about it". She was kidding, lucky for him, but I had to run up to the break room cuz I was laughing so hard.

[CivRacer95]

This isn't so much a co-worker thing, but just trying to embarass a friend situation. I was at Media Play with a group of guys and one of the guys grabbed a small little Sex Book on a stand. He started flipping through the pages, and a few more of the guys gathered around to look at the pictures inside. So me being the prick that I am, yelled out "Do you guys ever stop looking at porn!"

They immediately dropped the book, and all dispersed. Eveyone in line was laughing, including the cashier and half of the guys in our group. It was just good timing. Fun times.

[clawhammer]

This happened this morning.

I work at a call center. Today we're training new employees. New hires get paired up with an old worker and one takes the calls, the other types, and then they switch. Anyways, I'm over there looking at something on his computer, and a call comes in. The new worker picks up the call while the other guy is telling me (his headset is on) that he's going to kick my a$$ if I screw up his computer, and the caller heard like all of it.

[MBTN]

I worked at a local coffee shop in my small town with some friends during last summer. Sometimes other friends would come around and we'd bs. The job was so easy. We are all early 20's but the groups that would come in were either HS teens or old people. The 15 year old "scoonties" as we called them always had on skimpy outfits and tons of makeup. Some of these chicks were, ahem, physically mature. My friend was in the back making a sandwich or something and I was at the counter. This one girl with a LOVELY dynamite set of knockers comes to the counter. She leans over, her tits are spilling out and right in my face and i'm trying so so hard to keep a straight face when taking her order. "I'd like a chocolate milkshake with whipped cream all on top". My friend who was working with me is laughing, and my other friend who is hanging out at the counter is laughing too. I run in the back dying of laughter. I make the shake and come back trying so hard to keep a straight face when I am putting whipped creamed on this shake. I am also trying VERY VERY hard not to burst out laughing. Finally I'm trying hardest not to look at these gorgeous fun bags on this girl. I give her the shake and look at my friends and we are all chuckling like 12 year olds. My friend asks: "you hungry man?"
I say "No."
His reply "me neither I'm STUFFED"
I fucking lost it. I had to run out the back door and laugh outside. Definately a fun job

[Muscletang]

I had a friend who worked at Wal-Mart who we call Squid. He was leaning down one day tying his shoes when he heard a voice of somebody make basically the sounds people make when they're making fun of retards.

Well he did the same but did it louder and in a more insulting way, thinking it was some stupid teenager.

Later on this kid walks by and gives him this dirty look like he wanted to kill him. Squid was standing there wondering what the deal was.

It turns out later that the kid who was making those noises was really mentally impaired. He walked by and it was obvious from the way he walked, moved, and looked that he was.

Well Squid felt aweful but the rest of us were on the floor dying.

[kcg795]

Well, our customers are way the hell in Hawaii. But this is still funny. I work in a door factory. It's a pretty laid back workplace. One of the other guys and I were loading staves in the clamp carrier to make the core for the rails of the doors. He was feeding them to me through the glue machine and I was putting them into the clamp carrier and tightening them down. Well, while he's waiting for me to catch, he'd write all kinds of crazy shit on the sides of the staves because he'd get bored. These were messages for his friend who quit recently and another employee who he loves to give a bad time. So, the first message was "Josh, you fag!" I lost it! Meanwhile, the shop manager comes along and I'm still laughing my ass off. The guy feeding and writing this shit goes "What's so funny?" I look at him and shake my head. He says to the manager "Wow, he must really love his job!" The manager takes off and the guy on the other side of the glue machine keeps writing this shit. We'll call him Jimmy to make it easier. He writes stuff like "John is really gay. Don't tell anyone." Then he manages to draw a little cartoon of a penis chasing a pussy and the caption "Slow down John!" "If you can catch me, you can fuck me, Josh!" I could not contain my laughter no matter how hard I tried. I just continued clamping this shit down. Jimmy THOUGHT Josh and John were gonna be rotoplaning these parts later. This writing would get planed off as well. So no harm is done. Instead of them rotoplaning it, the manager ended up doing it and saw these messages. He had a good laugh and showed them to Josh and John and said Jimmy had way too much time on his hands.

[GritMaster]

Okay this one was at school. but since we run a restaurant in our school it's practically a job.

Anyhow their's this one blonde chick that our waitstaff techer seems to have a thing for, and she came into eat one day (she's pretty good looking) Two of the guys working the line in the pantry (closest section to her) were talking about stuff and then one of them, upon noticing her turns to the other and asks "Dude, would you do her in the butt". She promptly turned around and they both ducked as fast as they could behind the line.

Oh god it cracked me up, they were so F'in embarrased

[HogieGT-R]

This happened last saturday and it was something that I had said that had caused the ruckus

Backstory: Me and the rest of the wells crew were having our break outside at the picnic table beside our job when our friend sara walks out to talk to us because she's pissed about something or other......she starts swearing and little does she know that a hispanic family with a little daughter looked no older than 4 years old was walking by, right behind her....when i tell her, she blatantly says" oh she's only chinese" within earshot.....*cue my hysterics as i clutch my sides in laughter*

now pan over to saturday night.
we're at the same place eating during our break, and sara happens to come outside and talk some more. she lets out this huge burp as an asian woman walks behind her. the asian woman gives her a really dirty look and starts to walk away....i'm oblivious to the fact that she's still within earshot and i was in the middle of telling the story. she didn't even get 5 feet away from us when i had repeated "it's ok she's only chinese" loudly thinking that she was inside, they point in her direction and i just say out loud "OH SHIT!!!!!!" .......everybody just falls to the ground and starts dying from laughter.

[-Davo]

I had a manager at Dominos call a customer a fucking impatient cunt, but not to her face, but she did hear it, that manager got pwnt, and later fired.

[dirtydx]

there was this chick with huge titties at my last job, me and my buddy are talking about her.. I ask him, "do you think she could suck her own nipples?".. he cracks up, I thought it was because of my question. But it turned out she was right behind me.

[imtheoneandonlyD]

Originally Posted by dirtydx

there was this chick with huge titties at my last job, me and my buddy are talking about her.. I ask him, "do you think she could suck her own nipples?".. he cracks up, I thought it was because of my question. But it turned out she was right behind me.

So what was her answer?

[93rollaracer]

Originally Posted by imtheoneandonlyD

So what was her answer?

[imtheoneandonlyD]

Originally Posted by 93rollaracer

Exactly, you could just post a picture and please rollaracer and me all at the same time.