different types of drivers... what are you?

[mike1224]

Driving Habits That Drive Me Crazy


by - Tom Martino
December 30, 2002

While driving cross country in my motorhome, I found an interesting pastime to help the miles ease by. I observed driving habits closely then categorized them according to what I thought were the personality traits of the drivers. It was far from scientific but quite fun.

The Blinker Blocker : This is a person who is driving way behind you at a normal highway speed. He is in the fast lane (left); you are in the slow lane (right). You turn on your blinker to enter the fast lane. You want to pass the car directly in front of you. When the driver in the fast lane (way behind you) sees your blinker go on, he speeds up to block you from entering the fast lane. Why? He is a control freak. He wants everything his way. You can only pass when he wants you to.

The Squeezer: This is a person who is similar to the Blinker Blocker. He wants to control you, but he also wants you to suffer a little. Here’s his play: He pulls up along side you (he is in the left lane , you are in the right). The car directly in front of you is a bit slower than you, so you will need to eventually get into the left lane to pass him. The Squeezer knows this and times his speed precisely so you can’t move out of the lane. The only way you will be able to pass is to wait for him to pass first, then pull out behind him. And when you do that, he takes his sweet time passing, just to exert more control. This guy is a control freak and a bully.

The Weaver : This is one of the most dangerous drivers. He wants to be in front at all costs. His most dangerous maneuver comes when the fast lane isn’t moving quickly enough for him. He pulls into the slow lane and moves up until he finds a tiny gap in the fast lane. Then he quickly jerks his car into the fast lane—just a few inches in front of you. He has made no progress at all but he feels satisfied that he has passed "yet another car." It’s as if he puts a notch in his belt for every car he passes. The Weaver is most dangerous when he pulls his stunt in front of a large tractor trailer or motorhome. The Weaver is a selfish person who will risk everything for simple pleasures while not improving his life one bit.

The Speed Guard: This driver is annoying although he is within the law. This is the driver who stays in the fast lane and does exactly the speed limit. Exactly! He doesn’t care that there is a long line of cars behind him. He doesn’t care that dozens of cars eventually make their way around him, with various snarls, hand gestures, flashing lights and blaring horns. All he cares about is that he is "right" and everyone else is wrong. There is no gray area. He will obey the law and so should everyone else. The Speed Guard is a weakling in life who feels most people take advantage of him. He looks to seize power at every chance he gets. Being a Speed Guard gives him great satisfaction.

The Suicide Racer: This driver has to be faster than you, no matter how fast you are going. It doesn’t matter how unsafe conditions are he must be first at all costs. Even if you were cruising in the fast lane at 85 miles an hour, he would have to go 95 MPH. The only thing that matters is that he is first. This person lacks self esteem and needs to win at competition to feel good about himself. When he goes faster he feels superior.

The Disgusted Observer : This driver is not dangerous, just irritating. In his mind he is a "victim of the road." He is too good to be among the great unwashed driving the nation’s highways and byways. He simply drives and constantly expresses his displeasure at how "others" drive. You can usually see this when you are passing him. He will look over and frown, then move his head slowly, left to right, as if to say "No, no, no, no. What a fool you are for passing me." He may also toot his horn to express displeasure or even wave his hand at you. Not the kind of wave that says "hello," rather the kind of wave that you would use to turn down a dessert or a serving of vegetables. This man basically hates people. He is in a constant state of irritation because he is forced to live among them.

The Disciplinarian : These drivers can resort to violence so watch out! These are the drivers that punish you for doing something wrong. Perhaps you innocently pulled out in front of them. They don’t let you forget it. They pull up along side of you and wait for you to look at them. Then they curl up their face and show teeth. They utter words of rage and maybe shake a fist. Another habit is to ride your bumper and blink their lights. Or they may swerve in front of you then step on the brakes—they want you to feel the same pain you caused them. They are angry people who never overlook transgressions. They often pick fights and probably beat their wives and children.

The Procrastinator : You’ve seen these drivers mostly around road construction. They’re the ones who see the signs that the right lane is closed ahead, then wait until the last minute to merge. They may even pull up from behind you, speed up the soon-to-be-closed lane, then have the nerve to ask permission to merge in front of you. These people are the ones who act before they think. They are impulsive risk takers who then expect the world to take care of them when they fail.

The Blind Man (Faker) : These people pretend they don’t see you in order to do crazy things. They know that most sane people will give way to a blind driver, so they feign ignorance of their surroundings in hopes that people clear out of their way. These people are phonies in life. They lie and cheat to get their way and then act innocent when they are caught.

The Hesitator: Watch out for these drivers especially when they are entering an interstate. They think the acceleration lane is for "contemplating" their future. They also can cause problems when making turns and doing other maneuvers. That’s because they often get confused and bring their car to a crawl or in some cases a complete stop! These people are meek and mild and are never sure of themselves in lifeThe Procrastinator

[BlazerLT]

None of the above.

[mike1224]

thats only possible if you do not drive at all. I'm not trying to imply that you're lying.. but we all have different habits and reactions to situations, right? unless you do not express emotion!

[BlazerLT]

All those people listed are morons and I don't drive like any of them.

I don't power trip, I don't act unknowingly and I don't drive like a ranting fool.

[mike1224]

Originally Posted by BlazerLT

All those people listed are morons and I don't drive like any of them.

I don't power trip, I don't act unknowingly and I don't drive like a ranting fool.

ahhh i see. you are a calm person....... how do you accomplish that with all the stupid ignorant freaking idiots that are NEVER at fault??? ok, sorry about rant session, i know not everyone here drives like an A$$.

[OffRoadSonoma]

Ya, for real. I know how blazer drives. He's the kinda guy who drives 5-10 mph under the speed limit with that slight lean shaking the shit outta the car passing him in anger. I myself drive almost the same way, but I am usually driving a little faster and hitting a littler harder.

[BlazerLT]

I drive 5-10 over the speed limit, no more seeing why burn 20% more fuel to get there 5 minutes faster.

[mike1224]

i feel ya there LT, i've slowed down a lot in the last year or so, gets too expensive. i still go about 5-10 over, but its better than 20+ over (also when insurance was more than car payment its gets real stupid)

[BlazerLT]

Yea, I laugh when people brag about going 70+MPH in their trucks like it is something special..

True sign of an idiot burning fuel like crazy for nothing.

[Gratiotguy]

After several years of cummuting on the freeway, I also noticed several of the above mentioned behaviors.

One thing I learned about the "Squeezer" (or perhaps a sub-class of the Squeezer) was that many of them were simply driving the same speed as others around them. I wasn't to sure if its intentional or just a sub-conscious thing, they would just stay at the same speed as those around them. If I was in the right lane with a squeezer in the left, and approaching a slower car in my lane, I would speed up a little to get even with the squeezer, then gently slow down, a little at a time. The Squeezer, who would drive as fast as the surrounding traffic, namely me, would also slow down to match my speed. The second they let off the gas, I'd gun it and pass them before they could regain their momentum.

Many times they would then stay right behind me until we passed another slower moving car, then they would latch onto and squeeze them.