You asked for it...

[tonioseven]

A blonde sat at the bar when the bartender's son swaggers in. When he tells his father of his promotion and raise, the bartender calls for everyone's attention and announces that all drinks are on the house. When the blonde heard this, she ran outside and brought back a ladder.



Two blondes are walking down the road when one says ''Look at that dog with one eye!''
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says ''Where?''




One day, a mechanic was working late under a car and some brake fluid dripped into his mouth. "Wow! That stuff isn't too bad tasting," he thought. The next day, he told his buddy about tasting the brake fluid, and that he was drinking a cup with lunch.
His friend was a little concerned but didn't say anything. The next day, he decided to drink a pint. The day after that, he was up to a full bottle's worth. His friend was now really worried. ''You know, that brake fluid is poison and really bad for you. You better stop drinking that stuff!"
"Hey, no problem," he said. "I can stop any time!"




One day, an old lady decided that she didn't want to live anymore. So she went to the doctor and asked, ''What's the best way to kill yourself?'' The doctor told her, ''Well, shooting yourself in the heart is a fast method.'' She asked him, ''Where's the heart located?'' The doctor said, ''It's three fingers below the nipple.''
Later on, the police and paramedics arrive at her house. When the paramedic asks what happened, one officer says, ''We found her on the floor with a gunshot wound to the knee.''

[fredjacksonsan]

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

[tonioseven]

well here's one to definitely make you cry...

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works
department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again. An
onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?" The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it
probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."

[fredjacksonsan]

I actually laughed at that one.....didn't see it coming!

[Rally Sport]

^Ohh man, thats bad

[clawhammer]

1,2, and 5 very very funny.
3 sucked
4 I've heard before.

[Damien]

I hate you! I'm in class and can;t laugh!!!

[imtheoneandonlyD]

Some where pretty good. I think i liked the dog one best.

[Muscletang]

It's about time toni.
I was almost starting to believe that a funny joke couldn't be found in one your post.

You finally get my seal of approval.

[travis712]

1,2,4,5 and good. Although I saw 4 coming from a mile away, lol.

[sganc4life_4]

nice, i chuckled a bit