self-conclusion.

[xokayxo]

this thread started out as me venting about my ((MARRIED)) best friend sleeping with guys that arent her husband. yeah, that pisses me off. her husband deserves better than that. but the fact that she commands attention, and gets its, from everyone, is really discouraging when it comes to me wanting to make friends or meet decent guys that just want sex like i do. but in the process of venting i narrowed it down to the following:

I JUST WANT SEX! but guys that just want sex seem to be slutty guys and i cant have sex with a slutty guy because im just not attracted to that. but if attraction has anything to do with it then i dont just want sex, do i? sexual desires aside, i know that i want someone intelligent to talk to and hang out with. someone mature enough to not create drama at every chance, but someone playful enough to be fun to be around. i would appreciate a platonic relationship like this.
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i think i should take comfort in knowing what i want from people and knowing what people i do and don't want to be around. also the fact that i'm not being held back by anyone or anything and can DECIDE and CHOOSE who or what or where i do and don't want to be around. if anyone has advice of any kind, it would be appreciated. criticism is also welcome.

[TexasF355F1]

My advice would be to threaten your friend to either stop cheating on her husband or you will tell him. I don't care how good of friends i was with someone if they were doing that to the person they married and that person wasn't treating them like shit or doing the same I would spill the beans.

But that's just the type of person I am.

[xokayxo]

she told me that she's been telling him everything she's been doing. i asked her why she would want to do that, it's like rubbing it in his face. she said she didnt know. i would tell him but he's out of state right now and i dont know his phone number. i could get it, but i think they both need to grow up and get responsible and deal with their problems. she's 20. he's almost 20. they probably made a mistake getting married in the first place, but i dont think either of them takes it seriously enough to get a divorce. they just dont know how to overcome this themselves.

[kublah]

Originally Posted by xokayxo

she told me that she's been telling him everything she's been doing. i asked her why she would want to do that, it's like rubbing it in his face. she said she didnt know.

She is a self-indulgent bitch, and he has no balls. You just don't cheat on your spouse or tolerate/accept it if it happens to you.

I agree with your conclusions about the various qualities of the people you know and not being too heavily influenced by anyone in the decisions you make. Being aware of and grateful for these things is good, and if it's important to you, be careful not to compromise it all by doing anything out of character to try to appease a desire.

[TexasF355F1]

Originally Posted by xokayxo

she told me that she's been telling him everything she's been doing. i asked her why she would want to do that, it's like rubbing it in his face. she said she didnt know. i would tell him but he's out of state right now and i dont know his phone number. i could get it, but i think they both need to grow up and get responsible and deal with their problems. she's 20. he's almost 20. they probably made a mistake getting married in the first place, but i dont think either of them takes it seriously enough to get a divorce. they just dont know how to overcome this themselves.

Oh geez. That is the problem right there. Got married WAY too young. They can't even buy alcohol on their own. Sounds to me like he's doing it too, more than likely. They need to be careful though, since they could spread diseases to each other and whomever they're sleeping with. Anyway, someone needs to step in a guide them to do something that will make life better for the both of them.

[xokayxo]

now, as far as i know she is not having sex with other guys. just sleeping with them and spending obscene amounts of time with them. mostly spooning and cuddling goes on, is what she tells me and thats exactly what i see. which i think might as well be considered just as bad as having sex with other people. as for her husband, i dont think he would cheat. when he was up here at the beginning of the summer he got a job and started working a lot to make money so he wouldnt have to have a full time job while he's in school full time this fall. i just dont think she appreciates anything. it's times like these that i'm glad i had the kind of up-and-down childhood that i did. unfortunately, she was lucky enough to have a decent, normal upbringing.

[PBking82]

Spooning and cuddeling? I'm sorry but what the fuck is the point of that? I thought the whole point of that shit was if you like being around the person your with i.e. "in love" because you just want to hold them or whatnot. Sounds extremely childish to me. like 7th grade makeout parties or somethin. Peace-

[xokayxo]

hey, i'm not the one spooning, or being spooned. i dont know what the point is either. as i said, she has low self esteem. and wouldnt it make sense that, if and since she has low self esteem, she would get attached to (or feel that she "likes") anyone that shows her one iota of attention or interest?? and that's exactly it: it's childish!! i agree with you entirely, PBking82.

[DVS LT1]

Originally Posted by xokayxo

this thread started out as me venting about my ((MARRIED)) best friend sleeping with guys that arent her husband. yeah, that pisses me off. her husband deserves better than that. but the fact that she commands attention, and gets its, from everyone, is really discouraging when it comes to me wanting to make friends or meet decent guys that just want sex like i do. but in the process of venting i narrowed it down to the following:

I JUST WANT SEX! but guys that just want sex seem to be slutty guys and i cant have sex with a slutty guy because im just not attracted to that. but if attraction has anything to do with it then i dont just want sex, do i? sexual desires aside, i know that i want someone intelligent to talk to and hang out with. someone mature enough to not create drama at every chance, but someone playful enough to be fun to be around. i would appreciate a platonic relationship like this.
-----------------------

i think i should take comfort in knowing what i want from people and knowing what people i do and don't want to be around. also the fact that i'm not being held back by anyone or anything and can DECIDE and CHOOSE who or what or where i do and don't want to be around. if anyone has advice of any kind, it would be appreciated. criticism is also welcome.

Unfortunately, you're likely looking for either a married or involved person. Face it, guys who have fuck friends usually have more than one. You want a guy who is not a whore, but anyone willing to fuck casually is (and does it a lot).

Enter - the married or involved man. They are the ones least likely to be screwing multiple partners (you'd think). As far as finding an intellectual fuck friend, well... I guess one could say a married or long-term involved individual must have something on their shoulders if they've kept that going, moreso than a single unorganized shagger. But that's a gross generalization.

My advice would be to find someone at your work, or commute to work. They are likely to be someone who has common interests with you (if you're both taking a subway downtown to the business district and both dressed professionally then you both likely work in an office tower, right?). Someone like this (easpecially married) is IMO more likely to be tempted to screw someone from or at work because, well, its every mans fantasy (especially married) to have sex at or with someone at work (even if you don't actually work in the same company). Plus it sounds safer than just any old affair because they're off away from their wives legitimately and can hide their tracks through business related excuses). Seems that men in this situation could be easily temped to cheat, do it once (well actually "do" it a few times with one person), then quit while they're ahead and never do it again - because the fantasy will have been fulfilled.

If you're still in school or not working then try to meet someone in a more wholesome setting, like the philisophy club or church youth groups. Talk to people and identify someone who you think is "clean" and wouldn't dislike... then when things are still fairly new pop the question: "do you want to be fuck friends". If you find a guy who at first says no then you know you've found someone who doesn't do it a lot because the proposition likely startled him (and a whore woud fuck just about anybody right). Work on them a bit showing them how they've got no commitments or pressure and sooner or later this fellow will wise up and get with the program.

[PBking82]

Why is that when all a guy wants is sex that he's called a whore and scumbag? But when all a girl want's is sex then it's ok. We're talking about necrophilla(I hope that's the right one, not the one where you like to fuck dead people) here not who's a whore or not just who likes to fuck. Honestly I don't want to be involved with anybody who's fucking other people at the same time. There's nothing wrong with casual sex, but don't call people whores because you don't think they're "right" for you. If all you want is sex, than any dick that isn't infected is right for you. Believe me you are just as a big a whore as any of these "man whores" that your talking about. Just my 2 cents on this one. To each their own when it comes to fuckin. Peace-

[xokayxo]

sadly, necrophilia is screwing dead people. nymphomania is what you're thinking of.

you guys make me feel like some sex-crazed psychotic girl. really, i'm not. i just want clean, lusty fun. and not with multiple partners- i dont even know what you're thinkin, PBking. i dont want to be involved with someone who is already involved, either. i wouldnt put myself on that level. and please show me where i called someone a whore because they werent "right for me." i'm not sure what you meant by that, so if you could get your head out and tell me what you DID mean by it, i would appreciate it.

[DVS LT1]

Originally Posted by PBking82

Why is that when all a guy wants is sex that he's called a whore and scumbag? But when all a girl want's is sex then it's ok.

Isn't it usually the other way around?


In any case I think I was the one who started talking about "whores", so you ladies (I presume) have nothing to get upset about.

I'll I was saying is that when girls mess around (like the threadstarters friend if she was screwing a lot of people) then people call them whores. I just think its all the same if its a dude doing it to. It doesn't even seem to be a big deal these days - young girls are taugh on every single hip hop video or even britney spears shit that being a slut gives you power.

In my book if you like to screw around with lots of different people and never wishing to enter into a relationship then, well, you're a slut; ho, whore... whatever makes you feel better. But sheer mathematics dictates (no pun) that sooner or later no matter how "clean" you keep you will get dirty. Thats why there's always some degree of risk.

I'm not putting anyone down here though. If I were single again I'd probably be like a racehorse flying out of the gates with no desire to get into a relationship anytime soon (or even "date" - I'd just hop from one mama to the next before I get it out of my system).

[Mediocrity]

you guys make me feel like some sex-crazed psychotic girl. really, i'm not. i just want clean, lusty fun. and not with multiple partners- i dont even know what you're thinkin, PBking. i dont want to be involved with someone who is already involved, either. i wouldnt put myself on that level. and please show me where i called someone a whore because they werent "right for me." i'm not sure what you meant by that, so if you could get your head out and tell me what you DID mean by it, i would appreciate it.

sounds like you want a boyfriend without the feelings..

I wish women like you existed around here. It's either fucking around or they want to get all emotionally involved...

Too young for that shit.. not interested.

[BigBL87]

Originally Posted by xokayxo

sadly, necrophilia is screwing dead people. nymphomania is what you're thinking of.

you guys make me feel like some sex-crazed psychotic girl. really, i'm not. i just want clean, lusty fun. and not with multiple partners- i dont even know what you're thinkin, PBking. i dont want to be involved with someone who is already involved, either. i wouldnt put myself on that level. and please show me where i called someone a whore because they werent "right for me." i'm not sure what you meant by that, so if you could get your head out and tell me what you DID mean by it, i would appreciate it.

I understand where you're coming from, wanting to have some fun. Given, because of my religion I wouldn't take it as far, but its the same idea. Right now, with all the crap I've dealt with from women, I would like to have someone there to just make-out with and stuff. I suppose partly as a stress reducer (you'll understand if you read me recent angry thread) and partly just to have a girl in my life. You're not sex-crazed or psychotic, you just happen to have hormones like the rest of us. Anyway, good luck with your friend, and good luck finding what you want.

[xokayxo]

thank you