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#1
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A joke
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $ 5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29." The woman replies, "Nope I'm 50." Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I am 50, but thank you." While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 an and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are." They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast...He gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?" He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50." Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?'' The old man says, "promise you won't get mad?" "I promise I won't." she says. "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
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R.I.P.: My Thunderbird "Ricks 96".. 2/08/96 - 1/14/05.
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#2
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Very nice, the guy is a player.
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#3
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Re: A joke
nice
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#4
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Re: A joke
old guy got her good, lol
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Pictures of the Truck |
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#5
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Re: A joke
Hahahaha Fucking awesome!
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dSoc member #67 1995 Honda del Sol EG2 VTEC Milano Red. RIP :crook: 1994 Honda del Sol EG1 S-full VTEC conversion. Buy my Del Sol parts!! |
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#6
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Re: A joke
that's an old one... but still good.
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2003 Chevy 1500HD - Hauler 1971 Chevy Camaro RS - Track Car User Guidelines It's important to read, like the Bible. But unlike the Bible we will strike you down if you jerk off around here. |
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#7
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Re: A joke
hahah win for him
but 50 year old boobies hope she got them done at 49 =P |
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#8
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Re: A joke
Quote:
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#9
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good one
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Resistance Is Futile (If < 1ohm) |
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#10
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omg thats the best joke ever
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Formerly Blownalcoholboy 1986 Z28, 400ci SBC, Twin borg warner billet S467 turbos, Reid case powerglide, Moser 9". Holley EFI, Boost Leash. 950RWHP on pump gas, 1200rwhp on race gas (22 psi) Best ET 1/4: 8.35 @ 170mph (275 drag radial) Best ET 1/8: 5.44 @ 132mph (275 drag radial) Best 60': 1.31 on the back tires (275 drag radial) AF User Rules/Guidelines http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbul...uidelines.html |
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#11
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Re: A joke
haha good one, the old PIMP
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WANNA RACE? |
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#12
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Re: A joke
lol that's great
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#13
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Re: A joke
i did that one time...but without the talking....and without permission...but it was still a 50 year old lady. it was pretty hot
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#14
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Re: Re: A joke
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...wtf?
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![]() -Holden Berlina Turbo, RB30ET. -Mitsubishi Legnum VR4 |
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#15
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![]() I'm dying here!
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For a long time it gave me nightmares... witnessing an injustice like that... it's a constant reminder of just how unfair this world can be... I can still hear them taunting him....... silly rabbit, tricks are for kids... I mean, WHY COULDN'T THEY JUST GIVE HIM SOME CEREAL? Quote:
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