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  #1  
Old 07-29-2005, 08:04 PM
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A joke

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $ 5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," is the reply.

"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter
girl the very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29."

The woman replies, "Nope I'm 50."

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store
on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly responds, "I am 50, but thank you."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next
to her the same question.

He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 an and my eye sight is going. Although, when
I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best
of her.
She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around
very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast...He gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am
I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and
says,
"Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?''

The old man says, "promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't." she says.

"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
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  #2  
Old 07-29-2005, 08:21 PM
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Very nice, the guy is a player.
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Old 07-29-2005, 09:12 PM
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Re: A joke

nice
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I say let it run its course. Most women experiment with things. They'll try something whether it's mind altering drugs, going down on their best friend, an Emo song, or plastic surgery.
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Old 07-29-2005, 09:32 PM
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Re: A joke

old guy got her good, lol
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Old 07-30-2005, 10:42 PM
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Re: A joke

Hahahaha Fucking awesome!
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Old 07-30-2005, 11:07 PM
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Re: A joke

that's an old one... but still good.
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  #7  
Old 07-30-2005, 11:24 PM
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Re: A joke

hahah win for him

but 50 year old boobies hope she got them done at 49 =P
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Old 07-31-2005, 01:15 AM
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Re: A joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by RickwithaTbird

"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
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Old 07-31-2005, 10:22 AM
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good one













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Old 08-01-2005, 09:37 AM
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omg thats the best joke ever
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Old 08-02-2005, 06:18 PM
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Re: A joke

haha good one, the old PIMP
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Old 08-02-2005, 06:33 PM
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Re: A joke

lol that's great
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Old 08-03-2005, 03:55 AM
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Re: A joke

i did that one time...but without the talking....and without permission...but it was still a 50 year old lady. it was pretty hot
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Old 08-03-2005, 06:58 AM
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Re: Re: A joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by warmapplecobbler
i did that one time...but without the talking....and without permission...but it was still a 50 year old lady. it was pretty hot



...wtf?
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Old 08-03-2005, 05:45 PM
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I'm dying here!
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For a long time it gave me nightmares... witnessing an injustice like that... it's a constant reminder of just how unfair this world can be... I can still hear them taunting him.......

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I mean, WHY COULDN'T THEY JUST GIVE HIM SOME CEREAL?

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