What if People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers

[igor@af]

In order to help sell computers, the people in the tech industry have taken on educating people about how to use their technology. (e.g. computers, internet, etc.). By taking on that responsibility, the industry has created a whole set of consumer expectations that are pretty funny if viewed from the context of a different industry.

Take, for example, the car industry. What would it be like if cars were a brand new industry, suddenly everywhere and people had to learn about them without the benefit of having of grown up with them and consumers expected the auto industry to educate them?

I didn't write it, I don't know who did, but check it out. If you've ever worked a customer service desk, it'll strike a chord:

What if People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers? General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers


--but imagine if they did...

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"
HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"
HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."
CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"


HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"
HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"
CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know!?"
HELPLINE: "There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F.' Where is the needle pointing?"
CUSTOMER: "It's pointing to 'E.' What does that mean?"
HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you."
CUSTOMER: "What!? I paid $12,000.00 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!"


HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "Your cars suck!"
HELPLINE: "What's wrong?"
CUSTOMER: "It crashed, that's what went wrong!"
HELPLINE: "What were you doing?"
CUSTOMER: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed -- and now it won't start!"
HELPLINE: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it?"
CUSTOMER: "I want you to send me one of the latest versions that doesn't crash anymore!"


HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."
HELPLINE: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "How do I work it?"
HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"
CUSTOMER: "Do I know how to what?"
HELPLINE: "Do you know how to DRIVE?"
CUSTOMER: "I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!"

[hakka]

LOL...interesting theory

[Jay!]

LOL!!! Very nice. I'm happy to see this joke area getting a lot of traffic...

"Yeah, uh, I think my car is missing some parts... I just found this big empty area in the back under the lid..."

[primera man]

Originally posted by igor@af



HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"
HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"
CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know!?"
HELPLINE: "There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F.' Where is the needle pointing?"
CUSTOMER: "It's pointing to 'E.' What does that mean?"
HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you."
CUSTOMER: "What!? I paid $12,000.00 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!"

I like that one !!! ...so true.

[DVSNCYNIKL]

This is too funny. :hehe::hehe:

[sarujin]

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."
HELPLINE: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "How do I work it?"
HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"
CUSTOMER: "Do I know how to what?"
HELPLINE: "Do you know how to DRIVE?"
CUSTOMER: "I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!"

Thats funny cause it is almost true

sarujin

[Tom_S8]

Damn... :silly2:

[Ando_Rules]

haha thats so funny stuff igor lol, i wish people actually did that, then they aired them as commercials i would laugh my head off haha

[snoopafellajv]

fixing your car woul be so much easier when u dont know whats wrong just call em up and ask em! very interesting

[pod]

more stuff

CUSTOMER:I just got a second bill
HELPLINE:how sir
CUSTOMER: I wanted to go faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor.
HELPLINE:and then
CUSTOMER: then flashig lights came on behind me then some guy gave me a bill
HELPLINE:sir those are the police they regulate the speeds
CUSTOMER: you mean that my new $55,000 car cant go as fast as it can go
HELPLINE:no sir
CUSTOMER: what a rip off

[DBR96]

I think Americans already do buy their cars like they do their computers. Too many of us expect them to run for at least five years or 100,000 miles without even so much as an oil change. *lol*

[EMAXX]

Those are great.

[D[X]P]

great Jokes

[Unit Imports]

Funny stuff! My friend works in Customer service for an ISP and that's exactly what it would sound like! ---------->Nose

[YukiHime]

And when you crashed, you got to use one hand to hold on the headlight cover, the outside mirror and also the exhaust tip to restart it...