Texas

A TEXAS BLESSING

Note: If you are not a resident of TEXAS or never have lived in the
humid Southwest, you may not understand the weight of this blessing!

Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
Please keep it cool in mid-July.
Bless the walls where termites dine,
While ants and roaches march in time.
Bless our yard where spiders pass
Fire ant castles in the grass.
Bless the garage, a home to please
Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
Bless the love bugs, two by two,
the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
in TEXAS , Lord, you've put them all!!
But this is home, and here we'll stay,
So thank you Lord, for insect spray.

HOLD IT.............there's more....................

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN JULY WHEN. .. . .
The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and
end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk. Ah, what a place to call home.

God Bless Our State of TEXAS !!

[TexasF355F1]

It's getting f-in' hot as a witches tit outside now. This humidity is nuts.

[sivic02]

I lived in texas for a few years when i was but knee high to a grasshopeer. My sister lives there now, you poor texans!

I love Texas. I may never leave, you would have to pull me away a kickin and a screamin.....

that is true

[-Josh-]

At least you guys know what your weather is going to be like all the time. In Illinois if you dont like the weather the way it is now, wait an hour, it's gonna change.

I was in chicago a few years back. When I left Texas it was hot. Got to chicago and it was windy as hell and cold. I dont care too much for Illinios..

[-Josh-]

Yeah, there's a reason why they call it the windy city, it's right off of lake michigan.

[Muscletang]

Eh, we all know Texas' neighbor to the North is better

[-Josh-]

What's in Oklahoma that makes it so good???

[Muscletang]

Originally Posted by Z28Josh

What's in Oklahoma that makes it so good???

Didn't you watch American Idol last night?




I feel so dirty now.

[sidewayzS13]

texas and florida sound a lot alike all that hits close to home w/ me

[jeffseby]

3rd coast, baby!
Chya

[Rally Sport]

I like Texas, nice cheap gas, well more than most of the other states. It's funny though, I DID burn my hand once opening my car door and I used to park my car under the tree in my yard so it'd be cool when I wanted to go driving again. This was ofcourse before we built the carport.

[jeffseby]

Car Ports in Texas = The Shit!