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| COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum! |
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#1
05-23-2005, 11:07 AM
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Funny stuff: newspaper headlines
Deer Kill 17,000
(that's attrocious!) New Vaccine To Contain Rabies (what were they thinking?) Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge (thats nasty) President of Company says "Stud Tires Out" Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire (thats gotta hurt) Bridge Held Up By Red Tape (is it safe?) Kids Make Nutritious Snacks (i didnt know that!) Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told British Left Waffles on Falklands (how carless of them) Schwarzenegger Wins on Budget, but More Lies Ahead (how many lies?) New Vaccine May Contain AIDS (worse than the rabies) Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case (its a bit cramped...) Iraqi Head Seeks Arms (thats just plain wrong) Hospitals Sued By Seven Foot Doctors (they're big!!) Expert Says Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash (well no!) Bank Drive-in Window Blocked By Board (as opposed to plastic) Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead (i never knew) Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft (haha he farted) Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One Supreme Court Rules that Murderers shall not be electrocuted twice for the same Crime Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing (HE CANT HEAR!!) Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers (bad idea) House Passes Gas Tax Onto Senate Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung (haha the jury is dead!) William Kelly Was Fed Secretary (was the secratery nice?) Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder (Oh no i drink milk!) Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted (good job i dont take the bus!) Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water Farmer Bill Dies in House Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped (haha!!) Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus? (i hope not!) Prostitutes Appeal to Pope (oh really) Panda Mating Fails - Veterinarian Takes Over (ouch) NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden Dr. Ruth to Talk About Sex With Newspaper Editors Organ Festival Ends in Smashing Climax Eye Drops Off Shelf Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim (YOUR FIRED!!) Dealers Will Hear Car Talk at Noon (then my motorbike is giving a speech!) Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests (Im a guest!) Miners Refuse to Work After Death Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies (a whole ship?) Two Sisters Reunite After Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter (Women eh?) Never Withhold Herpes From Loved One Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy Drunk Drivers Paid $1,000 in 1984 (that was kind) Autos Killing 110 a Day, Let's Resolve to do Better If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly it May Last a While War Dims Hope for Peace Smokers are Productive, but Death Cuts Efficiency Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures (no i just farted) Child's Death Ruins Couple's Holiday (oh no!  )Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years (cause she is blind!) Man is Fatally Slain Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling of Isolation chris
__________________
I'm the kind of guy who appreciates a fine body regardless of the make. 
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#2
05-23-2005, 11:14 AM
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Re: Funny stuff: newspaper headlines
that stuff sucks chris!
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#3
05-23-2005, 11:18 AM
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isn't there a quality control or an editor whose job is to double check these for alternative meanings and possible misinterpretations?
 makes for amusing reads tho!
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#5
05-23-2005, 02:08 PM
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LOL Pretty good!
__________________
Evan Support your local volunteer fire department =============== My Rides: 2003 Ford F-350 Long Horn Hauler Others: 1999 Toyota Camry LE V6-Dad 2004 Chevy Tahoe Z71-Sister 2004 Toyota Camry LE V6-Mom
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#7
05-23-2005, 03:49 PM
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Re: Funny stuff: newspaper headlines
 They were all great.
__________________
2001 Honda S2000 New Formula Red Mods: Engine: Comptech Air Intake Box, miscellanous chrome dress up pieces Suspension: Comptech front strut tower bar Exterior: Grillcraft grill, lots of wax Interior: Rick's leather console cover, Muz one-piece luxury floormats, Rick's windscreen, Electronics/Audio: Polk speakers Wheels/tires: 18" SSR Competition wheels with 225/40 and 255/35 tires 
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#8
05-23-2005, 04:04 PM
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Re: Funny stuff: newspaper headlines
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling of Isolation
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#11
05-24-2005, 08:52 AM
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Re: Funny stuff: newspaper headlines
Those are pretty funny. I needed a luagh this morning. thanks for posting that.
__________________
If wishes were horses, then beggers would ride.
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#12
05-24-2005, 12:21 PM
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Re: Funny stuff: newspaper headlines
Every one thought i was losing it laughing at my computer!
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#13
05-24-2005, 12:47 PM
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Re: Funny stuff: newspaper headlines
hey cackster, nice avatar!
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#14
05-24-2005, 12:48 PM
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Re: Funny stuff: newspaper headlines
hey cackster, nice avatar!
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#15
05-25-2005, 06:51 AM
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hey NiceCarsBud, you are the first person i've seen with an E-Stutter.
(joking about your double post) the very last headline is the strangest...... "chris" sorry, i've been laughing at stupid shit all day.
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