funny slipups

hope it is not a ropost


>Church Bulletin Bloopers: Thank God for church ladies with
>typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church
>bulletins or were announced in church services:
>
>Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at
>Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the
>way from Africa.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight:
>"Searching for Jesus."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the
>recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the
>King.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
>things not worth keeping around the house. Don't
>forget your husbands.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a
>conflict.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
>someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone
>who doesn't care much about you.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving
>obvious pleasure to the congregation.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
>downstairs.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the
>help they can get.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more
>transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and
>requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will
>sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
>church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
>will follow.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"
>Come early and listen to our choir practice.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
>several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
>Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
>person you want remembered.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
>gracious hostility.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may
>be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across
>from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies
>are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would
>lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
>basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this
>tragedy.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
>Please use large double door at the side entrance.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan
>last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"

[imtheoneandonlyD]

lol i loved the second to last one.

[SniperX13]

those were some pretty good ones. It makes it even better knowing they came from a church bulletin.

[Mediocrity]

It's a but still funny.

[tonioseven]

I loved them!

[andy2005]

OMG those are great!

[sivic02]

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight:
>"Searching for Jesus."

I love it!

[WickedNYCowboy]

Very good.

[Jonno]

>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the
>recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the
>King.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, that explains his death....

[raysoh8]

[Vtec913]

>At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"
>Come early and listen to our choir practice

This one got me

[drewh4386]

Originally Posted by Vtec913

>At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"
>Come early and listen to our choir practice

This one got me

same here

[HondaCivic4358]

there was one by be that said "the best position is on your knees"

[ec437]

^ahahahahaa...