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#1
05-01-2005, 02:08 PM
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How Not to Start a Eulogy
Francesco Marciuliano
I lost more than just a bet today Is it me or does she look even hotter dead than when she was alive? In a way I blame myself. But not to the extent the authorities do. This is kind of ironic, considering that Shannon was always the life of the party. We all knew this day would come. In fact, we had several months to prepare for it, ever since Ted broke the news that he bought a pet bear. Let this be a lesson to all you kids. A gun is not a sex toy. ’Better him than me’ may sound like a callous remark, but hear me out I don’t believe this. She’s wearing the same dress as me. Maura’s death came as a complete surprise, especially after all those expensive pilot lessons she took. We all know there’s nothing funny about suicide. But darn it if Pepito the Clown didn’t try to prove us wrong. I loved him like a brother. But I ****ed him like an uncle. At least Ben died doing what he loved most—getting into tense standoffs with police. I believe God has a purpose for almost everyone on earth. And for those he doesn’t, he simply takes them back. Like Phil here Man, doesn’t anyone know how to perform autoerotic asphyxiation properly?" Jen is survived by several outstanding debts. Who will be attending to those? I don’t look at this as an end but rather a beginning, both for me and whichever new Mommy our children will have. Doesn’t Steve look just like himself? After all, he always did wear too much foundation. Why? Why do the good always die young, but a ********** like Morty makes it to 93? I don’t wish to speak ill of the dead. So instead I direct the following remarks to Sid’s wife and kids If anyone else tries to contact Shelly through a Ouiji board, let me know if she spells something other than ‘prick.’
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Resistance Is Futile (If < 1ohm) 
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#3
05-01-2005, 03:47 PM
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Re: How Not to Start a Eulogy
Quote:
Quote:
 fantastic
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"The greatest Americans have not been born yet, they are waiting patiently for the past to die"
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#4
05-01-2005, 03:56 PM
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Re: How Not to Start a Eulogy
That was really funny! Good post!
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If wishes were horses, then beggers would ride.
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#5
05-01-2005, 05:17 PM
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e-mailed to everyone I know as of right............ now
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Old: 1993 Acura integra gs-r New: 1998 chevy BlaZeR2~ AKA "Jeep recovery device" Newer: 2007 Honda CB900F "919"
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#8
05-01-2005, 06:13 PM
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Re: How Not to Start a Eulogy
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