Old School AF

[-Josh-]

I had this saved on my laptop, this is the first time i've been on it in....a while... and i just thought i would share this with some people who might not remember R1Rider, or the signature he used to have. In my opinion it was the funniest one i've ever seen.
It's big but worth the read.

"Or…… If your a loser who drives a Civic with a type R sticker, racing stripes, blasting really bad rap music through your suburban area with your pretentious "I’m 21 but I’m still in high school girlfriend" while driving with your hand up on the top of the steering wheel exposing your underdeveloped pasty white vitamin deficient arm and wearing your backwards BS upside down visor hat while feeling the tacky as a "Florida vacation" single diamond earring in your ear, If you are this person...with any luck the sun in its precise celestial positioning as you putter on by...will reflect its scorching rays into your earring, bouncing intensely in your rearview, and finally making contact with your eyes through the thin cheap lenses of $5 gas station Oakley rip off glasses.. then burning your retinal cones into smoldering melting gobs of ocular material as you are blinded by the purest form of energy in our known universe, and as you scream no one can help or hear you because they don’t know what’s going on since the weed whacker sound of your shitty tiny little muffler which makes the Civic sound like a 747 rages on underneath making everyone turn at disgust and comment to their husbands or wives how much of a dickweed you are by attaching that automotive abnormality to your stock economical daily driver engineered by Japanese Automotive specialists to fit the needs for entry level business workers in their early 30's, however your pathetic looking $11,000 car which you want to look like a friggin spaceship with redundant ground effects is now out of control since you are blinded, and as your car plunges off the side of a cliff while you scream in the purest form of terror while knowing you have lived a horrid excuse for a life, by doing the bare minimum in every facet of existence, while getting fired from one pathetic job to another, the majority of your time spent slacking, smoking dope, getting kicked out of school, polishing your "game" on sweet innocent underage girls you eventually 'de flower' through exhaustive yet successful attempts to get the date rapist drugs you have stashed in the glove compartment, into your poor victims drinks while offering them to take the "Pepsi Challenge" while making your mother hate you, and your poor father who wishes he had a daughter instead of your pathetic ass, since a girl would be more of a man than you ever were, like the occasion when you were hit in the arm by a wild pitch in little league, then you cried like a fat kid who dropped his ice cream cone, I'm already envisioning you impacting the rocks below, in a spectacular fireball ignited from the residue hairspray from your girlfriend plastered in the fabric passenger seat, blinded by your earring, deafened by the loud "Bling Blingin", and I will smile and roll around on the ground in orgasmic delight while you are consumed by flames whose intense heat and fury will liquefy your bone marrow that I will use to make jelly beans out of and eat them happily at your funeral as midgets dressed like Alex 6005321 from "A Clockwork Orange" dance around your coffin to loud industrial style techno music and strobe lights, and I will sleep soundly at night knowing another successful conquest of Darwinism has been attained....amen"

[93rollaracer]

haha...I remember somebody had that in their sig right when I joined and I almost died laughing at work the first time I saw it.

[clawhammer]

True and sad at the same time.

[Amish_kid]

shit reminds me of all the other people from the street racing forum, hybridsol, some dude with a mint blue chevelle who's name I forgot and plenty of others...

[PWRDbyUNCLEbens]

Great sig, I somehow remeber this or maybe just a simliar one.

[CivRacer95]

My eyes seriously hurt. The humor is worth the pain though . Wonder what made him post that up? Whatever happened to the guy? L8...

[kris]

Spinin' it old skool style.

[streetrcr45]

hahah..yes R1 was tru AF O.G. lol...

i always laughed when i read his sig

[-The Stig-]

R1 is my homie!

Good ol Dougie Fresh!

[R1-rider]

Oh man, good old times, old stories, and old friends up in this place. It has been too long since I last stopped by to share my prejudiced views, lame jokes, off-humor, subliminal sexual message for tangie, and what little bits of help and information I could pass on to other people.

I keep in contact with some people still as much as I can, however for those who I haven't stayed in touch with, I apologize. My life for the last year or so has been a complete mess, I put myself into a position where I have to make time for everything and everyone but myself.

Here is a sample into my current life, I take 15 credit hours at college, with an honors math class. Work 2 jobs, one as a warehouse manager for a big retail store, and the other at night as a bartender at a local college bar. My jobs requires me to stay in shape, so I must make time for the rock gym 3 days of the week. I also must make room for a few hours every other day to keep ontop of playing the piano. And all the while trying to juggle 3 relationships with girls that painfully make me realize how vain my choices have been.

So, I wouldn't expect to see me around here for awhile, however hopefully I will soon be done with school, and the need for 2 jobs. And then, maybe, I will be able to experience this almost foriegn concept of "leisure time".

If ya need to get intouch with me, the best way is on AIM @ azbartendin

rubber side = bottom
doug

[-The Stig-]

Dougie keepin it fresh like always...

Peace homie!

[-Josh-]

Man your schedule makes mine look like vacation.. Good luck man

[drftk1d]

i remeber that sig.

notice how he comes around RIGHT when this thread comes out?

[-The Stig-]

Originally Posted by drftk1d

i remeber that sig.

notice how he comes around RIGHT when this thread comes out?

I sent him the link...

[TatII]

you know i think i was the only one who was too lazy to read all of r-1rider's sig. hmmmm anyways its kinda funny cause i havne't seen from him in ages, then all of the sudden when z28josh brings his name up, here he is!!