The Seven Degrees of Blondes

[goldz28]

FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?"

The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

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SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."

The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"

So the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

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THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.

She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

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FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

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FIFTH DEGREE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

"Is it mine?"
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SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

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SEVENTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?

They send me a BLIND policeman."

[-Davo]

hahahahahha i like the last one the best.

[dugie6551]

Good ones ..

[crayzayjay]

Nice

[Damien]

Originally Posted by goldz28

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SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

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That one did it for me

Maybe cause I've jeard all the others...

[Muscletang]

8TH DEGREE

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were in a doctors office. They were all pregnant and were finding out what their child was going to be.

The brunette goes in first and comes out jumping for joy that she's going to have a boy. She said the doctor asked her that if she was on the bottom or top of her husband the night they had sex. She said the doctor said if she was on top she'd have a boy and if she was on bottom she was going to have a girl.

The redhead hears this and starts jumping for joy because she was under her husband and she's going to have a girl.

The blonde though starts crying her eyes out and the brunette and redhead look at her and ask "what's wrong?"

The blonde replies, "I'm going to have a puppy!"

[honda_racing101]

Haha, those are great.

[Cyprus106]

The 6th was pretty good... but seriously now. our society simply CANNOT advance economically, technologically or otherwise while blonde jokes are still in circulation in those age groups above 7 years

[sivic02]

Originally Posted by Muscletang

8TH DEGREE

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were in a doctors office. They were all pregnant and were finding out what their child was going to be.

The brunette goes in first and comes out jumping for joy that she's going to have a boy. She said the doctor asked her that if she was on the bottom or top of her husband the night they had sex. She said the doctor said if she was on top she'd have a boy and if she was on bottom she was going to have a girl.

The redhead hears this and starts jumping for joy because she was under her husband and she's going to have a girl.

The blonde though starts crying her eyes out and the brunette and redhead look at her and ask "what's wrong?"

The blonde replies, "I'm going to have a puppy!"

Im not completely sure why but that is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time.

[clawhammer]

After about the third one I wasn't sure if it was going to get better or not, but it sure did.

[RickwithaTbird]

I liked most of them.

But cyprus I have no fuckin clue what you were trying to say.

[uranium235powered]

I like # 3 and 8.

['97ventureowner]

Haven't heard those before.