Maturity

[thrasher]

I was just sitting down by the river a couple nights ago with my g/f, and it just hit me like a ton of bricks...I realized that most stuff I thought was important to me, wasn't really. Sure, I have a major passion for cars and golf, but in the grand scheme of things, cars will never lead me to happiness. It feels weird, but I suddenly and instantly came to feel like an adult at that point; I feel ready to make decisions that are based more on my future happiness than my current happiness. So, when did you guys feel like you reach adult maturity, if you did at all? Did it hit you real quick, or was it a slow transition?

[Muscletang]

Originally Posted by thrasher

Did it hit you real quick, or was it a slow transition?

It was a little bit of both. On certain things I realized that I didn't need this or that. There were other things though that through experience I matured through it.

I'm still 18 though and am nowhere near close to total maturity yet.

[Oz]

Maturity is all about mindset and attitude. My experience in watching others learn, grow and mature is that it cannot be forced eg. "Stop being so immature" , "Grow up" etc. It is something that happens in it's own time for each individual.

About 19 was when I think I demonstrated adult maturity across the major areas of my life.

[RickwithaTbird]

Originally Posted by thrasher

Did it hit you real quick, or was it a slow transition?

Don't worry dude, you will forget about that in a day or two. Then it will hit you like a ton of bricks again some other time. Then you'll forget about it again, and so on. It never sticks the first time around. I've had that feeling a zillion times. You just caught a glimpse of reality for a moment. It will happen more and more often until one day you always realize what's important and you will be truly happy and successful. I think it was the love, man. Being in love can make you think about things like that. The future, the things that matter, the things that don't matter even though they're fun.... I don't know how old you are, but if you are under 25 (which I'm pretty sure you are) then all you have to do is keep that in mind, because it will stick one day, but you dont need it to yet. Some people never get that feeling at all, and live their whole life in ignorance. Ignorance may be bliss, but wisdom is utopia. As long as you've gotten that feeling once, I'm sure it'll stick one day, but don't expect to remember it quite yet. Youre a smart guy, so just enjoy your youth and keep that maturity on the backburner for when you really need it.

edit: I had to delete something because for a moment I got dislexic and misinterpereted something, and said something stupid... but anyways, I also forgot to mention something.

I was 17 the first time I had that feeling. I wrote a poem about it. How I would settle for having regular things, if I could just be with the one I love. Until that point all I cared about was having the best of things... 150 dollar shoes, 80 dollar pants, nice cell phone, I was infatuated with having the best of everything. Of course I still work hard to achieve my goals and have nice things but it was a swift kick in the nuts to realize that there are bigger and better things. It hits real quick then goes away until one day it sticks, so its both.

[sivic02]

I have had a mature mind since about 16. Thats when a lot of crazy shit started happening with friends getting pregnant, people dying, people going to jail, drugs, etc... and I screwed up and helped out a couple people, then all of my friends kept turning to me for help when they need it. It makes you realize whats important and to get your priorities in order. Im not saying im completely mature at 21 years old but I am able to be mature when I need to be.

Adult maturity isnt about being mature all the time, if you know that you can honestly do whats right no matter what then you are as mature as you need to be.

You said you have a major passion for cars and golf. They will give you happiness. It is going to be rare that you will be completely happy all the time so keep with those hobbies, give everything you can to them if they make you happy. If there is anything I have learned in these screwed up 21 years of life its do whatever makes you happy at the time. Now go outside and rebuild your engine with your putter!

[TexasF355F1]

It hit me at a funeral one time. Everything is meaningless. Work, school, material things, they all equal up to jack shit. The only thing that really means anything to me are my friends and family and future wife, the people I truely care about. Probably why I don't stress about school, don't stress about trying to find a job.

[lamehonda]

Stress for me is a good thing. If I don't have it I only do the things that I think matter. The things that matter to me don't involve making money

The thing that really opened my eyes was the day that I found out that I was gonna be a mom. It gave a whole new look on life. The first time I held her, it took the breath out of me. All I could do was stare and think, she is mine, I made her and this angel needs me. She became every thing to me. All that bull shit I use to do means nothing. It is all about her, and my son. Now dont get me wrong, I I still play in the dirt and make mud pies I now have someone to do this with and they dont laugh at me, they laugh with me. I also do adult things, like partying you can not take that away from me. But, I never do it around my kids. I am verry happy with my life.. I find life better now than when I was a kid in many ways.

[ghostrx7]

ya, i feel at 19 i was first starting to feel mature with my own job/apartment/car etc. i valued my job more than any of my other friends. i still feel slightly immature when it comes to my car. thrasher-u said ur car wont make u happy in the long run, but it will make me happy.thats the only thing i get like a kid about now. i invested 6700 after my mechanic totalled my fd3s and thought i was sooooo responsible and planning for my future and a house, but now a year later im taking that money out to pimp my ride! rick ur right, it goes in and out.i still feel mature living alone(parents live in fla)driving brand new vehicles better then most parents, have a good income, keep in touch with all my family, and no major debts.i also have a pimp ass house with everything i ever wanted when i was younger(great job, big screen tv, slate pool table, arcade game, home theater system, 2 bars, etc......most importantly respect from many people. my boss is a multimillionaire and thinks im the most mature person for my age he knows.

[SeXy_AnGeL]

I have my moments....A lot of times I can be as mature, if not more mature than a 40 year old, but at times I'm just stupid and fuck up...I don't think I want to be totally mature, I enjoy being a kid sometimes

[bayouwolf]

It won't REALLY hit untill you see your first childs face the first time. Your entire life melts away and the only thing that matters is your child.

[jacks336]

I matured when i found myself in Basic Training

[YogsVR4]

It never stops.

[slammedscion]

I didnt start to mature until 2yrs ago. I had to choose between the women i loved and my drugs and alcohol. I choose her and i havent touched drugs since. I do drink still just not every day. I also started to relize then what it thought mattered really didnt.

[Ridenour]

Maturity has been slowly working on me the last few years, but my "epiphany" was really about a year ago. I had a "paradigm shift". I changed how I viewed myself. My whole life, I had super low self-confidence, and viewed myself in a completely different aspect then I do now, and totally had no idea who the hell I was. It would take a long time to explain everything, so I won't. But nowadays, I'm confident as hell, trust myself, love myself for who I am, believe in what I can accomplish, and am proactive as fuck. I love who I am, and continuously try to help other people make the same epiphany. Ever since I learned to start believing in myself, and stopped comparing myself against others in stupid, shallow, materialistic aspects, I have had a dramatic turn-around. It feels great. I just don't give a shit about materialistic things nearly to the extent that I use to. And when you learn to just not give a damn, you're able to use the energy you spent on meaningless shit and apply it to great things.