Oh no, not again... (women... go fig)

[MBTN]

Well I figured i'd entertain you all with my latest troubles Here's a long one!

Where to begin? So about one year ago I was into this girl. But some things happened and some things were said and we stopped talking and I was pretty bummed for a while but I got over it. I would see her every now and then at parties but I would just say "Hi." and be on my way, I really didn't care to talk to her anymore. Recently (early February) I was at a party and she was there. I was talking to other people enjoying myself when out of the blue she came up to me and said "You don't talk to me anymore. Why not? Do you hate me?" I'm thinking "Oh great why is she talking to me..." Yada yada. So I talked to her a bit that night and things seemed OK. One week later there was another party but I didn't really talk to her. I instead got HAMMERED (I was jumping around, rolling on the floor. I woke up with bruises, it was a good night ) My friends knew that way back I was into this girl. So while I being a drunken clown one of my friends talked to her (I didn't know he did this till the end of the night). She told him about what happened way back but also how she still liked me. OK that's a start. He also found out I have to stop being such an asshole (I'm an asshole, I can't help it ). I didn't talk to her too much since then. I was planning on going to a concert with a friend and I found out it was her favorite band. So I asked her if she wanted to go and I bougth her a ticket. Yey! Concert was in the city so We would be taking the train in. We picked a train and decided to meet eachother on it.

Here's where the trouble begins... or where it always was...

I met her on the train and we say our hellos and small talk follows. For about one minute. After that it was awkward silence for about an hour the rest of the ride. Yikes. We get to the city and meet my friend and head to the concert. We wait outside and drink (heheh). Since there are other people around I have no problem talking, she has no problem talking, neither of us have a problem talking to eachother. Yada yada night ends we get off at the train station and I offer her a ride home. Another 10 minutes of awkward silence (my radio being busted doesn't help!). I get home and think "Wow. That. Sucked." Concert was a blast though I figure I'll never be able to talk to this girl so whatever. The next Friday I was bored and had nothing to do. Tried calling friends and nobody was available/doing anything. So I figure what the hell and call her. We arrange to meet some friends and go play pool. Her radio doesn't work, mine doesn't either. GREAT. So I offer to drive. You guessed it, 30 minutes of awkward silence. She even calls me on it "You don't talk much do you?" We play pool with our friends and have fun. Once again I'm talkative to her and everyone else. Then we all part ways and we get to my car. Talk for 2 minutes then another 30 minutes of awkward silence. I never needed a knife so bad. I just wanted to cut the tension. So that was another disasterous night.

I've got problems.

A few weeks pass and last weekend my friend was having a party so I called and invited her. My friend also comes (the one who talked to her a while back). She gets there, place is getting packed and everyone pretty much starts saying hello to everyone. She goes downstairs I stay upstairs. My friend is telling me to go talk to her. I can't fucking do it. I drink some more so I can loosen up (it's a problem I have). Finally my friend makes me go downstairs and he takes over as my wingman (her friend is there also). Since it's not just the two of us one on one, I have no problem talking, go fig. I guess I'm a group person. Night goes on things are fine and dandy. My friend throws everyone out at 12:30 because he wants to get laid or something. The entire party moves to a local bar. We get there and she asks me "buy me a drink?" with this puppy dog face and I'm thinking "df348fh8efef348fr378r23g8r3g78!!" So of course I buy her a drink because I'm "easy" like that. Since the bar is packed we go off in different directions and talk to whoever. I'm having a blast talking to people. Eventually the two of us end up in a booth sitting across from eachother. I don't know what happened but we ended up having a conversation (GASP!) and someone I found myself holding her hands. Then for I don't know how long I simply stared into her eyes and we talked some more. Eventually she said something VERY personal. Let's just say she's "unspoiled" I was like "what did you just say to me?" her reply "you heard me" and then she changed the subject. It certainly explains A LOT (from all that I know).

So that was last week and now I'm sitting here wondering what's next. I do know there's something between us. But there's also a shit load of tension. I like her, she likes me. So what's the friggin problem!? I have no issues calling her and asking her out. I know she won't say no. I do know it would just be awkward silence if we are one on one just like always. I can't figure this girl out. This is the only girl i've ever had a problem with having a conversation with. I don't know what it is about her and what she does to me. So what it all comes down to is what do I do next? What's the next move?
I'm thinking I gotta suck it up and ask straight out "what's the deal between us? Is there a connection or no?" It would certainly be a load off and give me closure if I got a straight yes OR no. What does everyone else think? Gimme some answers, make fun of me, do something Thanks for reading about my pathetic life!

[-Jayson-]

sounds like she unexerpeinced when it comes to relationships. Not many guys will want to be or stay with a girl who doesnt have sex. Or she could think really highly of you and want you the be the one to bust her. So she is affraid to be herself and let lose.

Heres what you need to do, invite her over alone, and spend a friday night together watching a movie or getting drunk or something. I dont know what your personality is like, but the easiest way to get a girl talking is usually to be silly/funny. And since the fact that this girl is still a virgin, i doubt shes into hardass guys who think of nothing but getting laid and being a badass. Dont be affraid to make yourself look like a fool, just dont make her look like a fool. And by fool, i mean a funny fool, not a drunk tool. And if you do have her home alone, DO NOT make any serious sexual advances on her, you will scare her away in a minute.

also be warned, the type of girl you are chasing wont be easy. I know ive tried chasing a girl like that before. Be prepared to have to change who you are to please this girl. Also get used to dirty looks one minute and the next minute shes all happy. Actually to be totally honest i would just stay away from this girl, not worth your time unless you think she might be "the one"

[fredjacksonsan]

Next time you're driving during an awkward silence, tell her "this awkward silence stuff kinda stinks, doesn't it"? and you should get a laugh. Then when it continues, pull over and stop, and kiss her. Then start driving again. A few minutes later, repeat.

[MBTN]

Thanks for the advice. Keep it coming guys. Anything is appreciated.

[ghostrx7]

HOW CAN U HAVE NOTHING TO SAY?talk about ur freaking rotary engine while ur listening to that instead of the radio, or how u were drunk as hell the other day........anything u say would be better then that silence. if u say u want an answer, she will definately split. if u arent sure, she probably isnt either. take it slow, and think of some bullshit to spit out while ur with her. definately dont play hardball with this girl cause shell probably get nervous, she seems like a nice one. P.S. i wish i was workin on a virgin!!!!!lol

[RickwithaTbird]

it seems to me she likes it that you are quiet. The quiet thing works for me pretty well. But heres the cool thing about that massive amount of akward silences you two have had... theres never a better time to do something bold, than in the middle of an akward silence. I think if you two share enough akward silence, she will eventually jump on you and molest you. And I also think that if you two have another akward silence, you should jump on her and molest her (if she doesnt scream "STOP"). Its sexual tension keeping you two from talking. The only way to break it is by having sex. She'll be down.


Dr. Rick

edit: before making your sexual advances out of the blue, make sure to give her a warning. I dont mean by saying "I am bout to make sexual advances on you so get ready" (although, that just may work lol).. but in the middle of the lack of conversation, turn your head right at her, look her in the eyes, wait about 1 1/2 seconds take a breath and lean in for one of those I WANT YOU NOW kisses. You've already shown her you arent all about takin her home and hittin it, she's probably wondering when your panzy ass is gonna make a move. (not calling you a panzy ass, but you know what I mean.)
good luck

[MBTN]

You know i've been thinking this... Next time we get a single moment alone, I'm physically going for it. If she shoots me down then hey, at least I get closure.

[MBTN]

Well Fuck Me. I Fucked It Up. She's Outta My Life. Pm Me For Details I Guess If You Want To Know. I Blew It.

[ghostrx7]

come on, share with us all!no gay pm shit!

[MBTN]

Ha drunken post of teh year! Drunken NIGHT of the year. I really should quit drinking...

I was at my friends house and we were bored so we all started calling people to get a party going. Party gets going, I get to drinking (way too heavily of course). I invite her she shows up eventually. I'm giving her the eye and I make it obvious and she sees it (I want her to). She's like "why are you looking at me like that? stop it." I said "I want to talk to you." She says "umm... no." I say "let's go outside I need to talk to you. I'm not taking a no." At this point I was being a drunken obnoxious prick. There was some more similar conversation and I was following her around. She finally caves and decides to go outside and talk. I say "what's the deal?" She says "About what?" I reply "Me and you" She goes "I don't know what you're talking about."

Come on...

"You know what I'm talking about."
"No I don't"
"Are you affraid of me?" I ask
"Yeah a little you're scaring me"
"You know what, just give me closure."
She said "OK fine goodbye." and she goes back inside. That's the jist of it, there were some more words in there I guess. Any way I was being drunk and stupid and kept eyeing her and she was telling me "stop it." I didn't listen until my friend was like "Dude that's it. Give it up. Stop." I knew but didn't know any better. I felt like an ass bag. I slammed some more beers feeling like a fuck and disappeared on my own for a while. I gave my friend my keys and I told her "Don't fucking give these back to me." So I dicked around a bit more and eventually got a ride home. As of this very moment I don't know where my keys are and my car remains at my friends house.

I came home and felt like a fuck some more. Deleted certain screen names from my list and certain numbers from my phone. Drank some water and went to bed. Fell asleep thinking of those crystal eyes and how nice it was to gaze into them. Woke up thinking of...

My car. How happy I will be once I'm back in my drivers seat. All I want is to drive. And now I'm smiling.

[MagicRat]

For what its worth, girls use 'good-bye' as a negotiation tool.
It is often not final, it's just a step along the relationship route. If you want a relationship with her, you know how you should behave.
the question should be do you want to change to suit her?

[MBTN]

I'm not going to change myself for ANYONE. Only thing I'll change is my alcohol consumption and not be such an obnoxious drunken fool. If there's a next time, which there certainly will be at the next party, I'll let you guys know what's up.

Thanks for the kind words.

[sidewayzS13]

its not over that girl is just unexpierienced it sounds. how old is she? i say next time you see her at a party walt up to her say hi then ignore her for the rest of the night dont make eye contact or look at her or anything and make sure she sees u talking to other girls. then she will get jealous and want to be w/ u if that is what you want. girls want what they cant have so if she sees u talking to a bunch of others girls she will be all over you

[MBTN]

That used to be my plan, but I'm tired of playing games.
She knows I want her. She's hot and cold all the time and I never know wtf is up.
She's 19 btw

[RickwithaTbird]

I feel ya man. Just say, "look. I want you, but Im tired of never knowing what you want. You're pushing me away, so call me when you figure out whats up. Alright?" Then give her a kiss on the cheek, and walk away.